European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 12, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                No patience for a Scarletto and other fiction Andy Rooney it seems strange to me that we arc All so close to evenly divided on Many lifestyle issues. Half of us like one thing half like the opposite. I mean things such As whether we like chocolate better than Vanilla night better than morning cold better than hot Green better than red. There arc thousands of things like those on which 50 percent of americans feel one Way and 50 percent the other. I was thinking about that because i read where the new gone with the wind rip off novel called Scarlett is a Best seller. A lot of people Aren t buying it. Too and i m one of them. Id have to be stranded for five years on a desert Island with nothing else to do before i d read Scarlett and there Are others like me. The division Here is Between people who enjoy Reading fiction and people who Don t. It s about 50-50, i think. Most children and some adults want to be told a Story. They like being transported by words out of their own lives and into someone Csc s. They read novels. Other people Don t have any patience with fiction. A fiction in any form turns me off. I can t even watch a situation comedy on television. 5 f i read where they be put Bartlett s familiar quotations on a compact disk that can be used with a personal computer and they re working on an encyclopedia. Id love to have an encyclopedia the world almanac and Bartlett son my computer so i could press a Button and get answers to hard questions. The problem is not with computers but with me. Computer experts have to find a Way to expand my brain so it can hold All this information. Sometimes i get the feeling in a full up to Here and can to take anymore. My brain does t have a place to put it until some space becomes available up there. Maybe when i forget something it leaves an opening. I wish i could decide what to eliminate by forgetting. A i flew the Iso Miles from new York City to Worcester. Mass. My round trip ticket Cost $552. Next i hew from new York to  Angeles 2.7 h Miles. My round trip ticket Cost $5 8. I Low. Please a i Felt sorry for president Bush when i saw pictures of him picking through the ruins of his family Home in Kennebunkport Maine.  with the weight of the world on his shoulders the loss of a lot of personal mementos and family pictures hit him haul. You could Tell he was close to tears but did t trunk he d better cry. A l ast cat i wrote that the super bowl lame Day program was a rip off. The editor got Back at me this fall. He called and asked if id write an article for it this year. He offered me pretty Good Money. I told him 1 had Money but 1 did no to have a ticket to the game or a hotel room in Minneapolis. Jan. 20. We made a Deal. If you see me on television in the stands. Ill be the one with the limits Cap. Tribune Media Andy Rooney is a former stars and stripes  Cable 150 to channels and fit fingers by James Barron the new York times some people say they can never be too Rich or too thin. Then there is Lori Massa of the Whit Stone Section of Queens in new York City. She can never have too Many Cable channels and since december she has had far More to choose from than the average Channel hopping Couch potato. Massa and her husband John Are the first Cable television subscribers in the world a yes the world says her Cable company modestly a to get 150 channels. That is twice As Many As her next door neighbor on ninth Avenue Silva Gri Parie who kept dropping in on the first Day asking what son. Quot i done to know what to watch a said Massa aiming one of her four Remote control devices squarely at the Large screen television in her living room. A a it a better than going to a video store. Its like you done to know what to watch. You can catch a movie every 15  the Massas can choose from so Many channels because their Brand new House was the first to be connected to Brooklyn Queens cables new 150-Channel quantum service. Quantum has not one but two different Cine Max channels and three different Hob channels As Well As its own nostalgia Channel with the new Art Linkletter Showa Nasa Channel with launch to Landing coverage of space missions and 57 channels reserved for pay per View movies around the clock. Cable junkies might Call that an embarrassment of riches. As for Brux Ikolyn Queens cables claim to world class status the National Cable television association a Trade group knows of no other systems w Ith As Many channels. It said the average Cable customer has a Mere 55 channels. With Access to 4v times that Many channels just by punching the buttons on her Remote controls Massa May soon have the fittest fingers in town. Quantum a creators like to say it is Quot menu driven a which Means there will be a lot of Button punching in Massas neighbourhood customers who sign up for quantum will look at on screen menus much like those on videocassette recorders. Time Warner Cable which owns Brooklyn Queens Cable is installing quantum in White Stone and Bellerose Queens. Richard Aurelio the president of time Warner cables new York group said 10,000 Homes in those neighbourhoods have Cable. The company a goal is to sign up 5,000 for quantum by mid february he said and to expand quantum to other neighbourhoods in Queens later on. Aurelio said time Warner wants to bring quantum to Manhattan but not until after it finishes upgrading its Paragon and Manhattan Cable systems next year. Quot it Isnit a question of technology a he said. A the Only Issue is timing when we do  i be said the company was already working on engineering studies for Manhattan. In Queens. Aurelio said. Time Warner is spend ing $ 150 to $200 a subscriber to make the leap to quantum but the customers will not pay More for it. The monthly charge for quantum is $255 5. The same As for Brooklyn Queens cables existing Quot touch service Quot which lets customers order pay per View movies just not As Many As with quantum. The prices for Premium channels like Hob and cinemas Are also the same on quantum $ 11 a month for one a each for two and $7 each for three a but quantum subscribers will get the three Hobs for the Price of Only one. The pay per View movies on quantum Range from $15 5 to $45 5, and quantum subscribers can order two at the same time. Quot people like to hip Back and Forth Quot said Barry Rosenblum the president of Brooklyn Queens Cable. At Massas House on Day one time Warner executives gathered around while Rosenblum called the control room and gave the word. A moment later the quantum logo appeared on her screen. Massa was chosen As its first customer after time Warner executives looked Over a list of Brooklyn Queens Cable subscribers w to had watched pay per View movies. Quot we had some who watched two or three a night a said James p. I Aldington a time Warner project director. As he said this a television news Crew was elbowing its Way around the room recording this Milestone in the age of video. And Massa was thinking Back to the Day that a time Warner official had called to offer her a Chance to  footnote to history. Quot she said please done to hang up i m not a salesperson a a Massa said. Quot site offered like a free to. She said one Hundred fifty channels i said  they gave me a Toshiba 2 it Inch to. Its already set up in my bedroom. And they gave you like Cable free for a year and 20 pay per View movies free. Quot but Massa May not spend that much time m front of the set the time Warner executives Ocie hovering Over. Quot this is my husband s room Quot she said. Quot he hangs out Down Here. I hangout in the bedroom. I be watches his movies. I watch my mov ies. Its funny we Cun never find each Olfier in the House january 12 1 j92 sunday a Page