European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - February 16, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                _ Page 2hellbent to soar skyward and ski downward his Story begins on the meticulously groomed Zug Spitz where you can feast your skis on a smorgasbord of powder ice hillsides and drops. Straight up 2,999 meters after the train ride from Garmisch Germany and before the plummeting Gondola a at this spot a i looked up to see the Only ski lift. I should have guessed the demonise of this part of the ski resort but no. The Devil was at my Side whispering in my ear promising the Best. The most fantastic View of the Valley that the whole resort had to offer. And what do i do in return merely take the ski lift up and peer Over the Edge. There it was True to the Devil s Promise the Valley floor an old riverbed snaking Between the mountains base. Small villages nestled in these Alpine mountains like under our Christmas tree. The faint sounds of yodelling melted my  our guest but then the Devil tapped me on the shoulder. His voice lost its melodious tone. He crackled. A a it a time to  unsure of what he meant. I looked around. There to my horror i realized the Only Way Back Down to the Lodge was via a triple Black Diamond ski run. Still not totally convinced of my Folly i followed the other skiers along the Mountainside. Cursing my skis that were Loo Long for my ability i somehow negotiated the narrow Steep path. Around a Large Boulder the path abruptly ended. My fellow skiers huddled peering Over the Edge of a Cliff into the Snow covered Mogul dotted hell below. 1 studied the possibilities. Maybe if i started higher up the Hill maybe if i started left maybe right there must be another Way to get Down this Devil of a Mountain. My brow became moist despite the whipping winds. Because Only one rut started at the tip Only one skier was Able to tackle the Mountain at a time. Every so often a grim faced Kinsman broke out of the quivering mass and threw himself off the Edge. Some actually made it to the Bottom others slopped Halfway Down. All the while perched atop the Cliffs higher still six Jacques Hung like vultures. With their Long Neon skis overhanging the Cliff they heckled As another intermediate skier took the plunge. The harder the fall the louder the hooting. One skier to the Delight of the hyenas lost his skis after overtaking the first two rutted moguls. He bounced All the Way to the Bottom. Another Brave soul in a Cloud of Snow Slid into a stationary skier. They both toppled Down ski poles and body parts flying. Now picture me your poor travel writer who can barely Zigzag Down a beginners run. As soon As the Prince of darkness pushed me onto the rutted jagged slope i fell out of control. Flying on my left ski bouncing to my right. Unlike the other skiers who jumped to their demise with silent Western stoicism the suddenness of my descent caused me to open my Mouth. Out came the spine curdling screams of a Banshee. The next thing i knew i was being dribbled like a basketball Down the Side of the Mountain. I flopped until my rag doll body came to a splat. Otic sympathetic Jacque yelled. A gel offs a slope to com conc else can  i was incensed. They wanted More to their chauvinistic Surprise i raised my voice a no i wont get off until someone fetches my ski  the predictable reply a i vill give dam to yous for two  Quot i will give you anything you want a i said. Quot just get me off this Devil  Quick As an Avalanche one of the Guys jumped off the upper Cliff flew to my poles and held them Triumph ally Over his head. He bowed to the applause of his perched friends then came Over to meet me with a hug two kisses and both ski poles. There a a bit of heaven up there after All. Barbara Lucia lives in Frankfurt Germany. Send in your column plus a photo of yourself to be our guest sunday Magazine the stars and stripes Apo 09211 or Postrach 11 14 37, d-6100 Darmstadt 11,  laugh Moser Zurich Switzerland copyright id 1992, cartoonists amp writers Syndicate ims from the cover.4-5 satellite and Cable plug into Europe. Dan Quayle .6-7 the veep s High flying style. Andy rooney.7 the truth list. Odds amp ends.8 Erma Bombeck looks at the contenders. In tune .9 olympians turn to television. This weeks films .10-11 Chuck Pinch Quot shining through hardly is. Complete cafes circuit listings television listings 12-14 local Cable and satellite schedules. Home entertainment .15 Quot the rocketeer trying to lift off. On parade.16 the problems of Marlon Brando. Voices .17 Linda Ellerbee rips Senate Ami twisting. Words and wit .18 breathing easier when parents leave. Books.19 America s version of Lawrence of Arabia. Classified ads.20-23 last laugh .24 Dave Barry advertises his complaints. Sunday is a weekly supplement of the stars and stripes editor Bucky Fox Art direction Wes Booher production Kelly Quinn Susie Stonum editorial assistance Marian Hamilton Louis Pierce Dan Quayle and air Force two. Page 6. Is Davdi i a sunday i thru any la it .