European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - February 16, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse Odds amp ends miss m Judith Martin d manners can a finc Quality stainless steel flatware table service appropriately take the place of Sterling Silver for formal dinners at Home gentle Reader etiquette is not in league with those who sell luxury goods however often the tradespeople who stand to gain May try to suggest this. Not Only docs miss manners not endorse one Metal Over another hut she believes that anyone who too closely examines the value of any proper utilitarian tableware a Host has set out is not paying proper attention to the conversation. Does this sound like License to use plastic cutlery even for an informal occasion forgot it. Miss manners saved herself from that interpretation by inserting the world not liking to have Fork tines break off into her dinner she has not vet seen plastic flatware she considers utilitarian and her mind on that Issue is closed. Dear miss manners while trying to Contact people who Are at work i am often quizzed by the person answering the phone who Are you Why do you want to speak with her what company Are you with Why can t you talk to me instead Etc. I am sometimes sensitive about giving out information in part because i am a therapist and am returning a Call a information the inquisitive party need not know. Or perhaps it is a Friend who has asked me to Call and i am Uncertain of that person s business policies on personal Calls. Do you have any suggestions about How to answer the 20-questions game with inquisitive third parties answers to their questions have Little to do with my actually contacting the person i seek and Are not passed on to that person. Usually i state my preference of wanting to speak to that person in a pleasant but film Lone of voice. Gentle Reader miss manners is also Uncertain of the policies about Telephone Calls at the particular businesses you happen to Call but she does not join you in considering them Nosy to have any questions. The object is not to play games but to route the Calls efficiently. This is not to say that miss manners does t sympathize with the victims of abuse of such systems. To state that one is returning a Call should be enough anyone who persists in asking what it is about can fairly be told that this is exactly what you Are hoping to find out by returning the Call. If you done to like calling your business a personal Quot you could Call it that Way you make it Clear that you must talk to the individual named while letting the question of whether it is about medical problems or a corporate takeover remain open. Dear miss manners my Boyfriend and i have been together for More than a year. In be attended All of his family gatherings thus far a thanksgiving Christmas mass picnics and birthdays and i was at his Cousin s wedding As his guest. But now he wants me to attend his family reunion. His parents think we arc far too involved and seem to resent All the time we spend together. I always feel uncomfortable with them i think it is improper for me to attend a family reunion when in a not yet family. He insists its of because his invitation says a and guest Quot should i or i gentle Reader having made a mockery out of their guest lists with the suggestion that your Friend Lake an Anonymous guest to family gatherings his relatives Ean hardly suggest that you be excluded for their gatherings because you Are not a member of the family. Miss manners has always said that people who ask for an a and guest Quot deserve what they get. But that is not your position which is much More gracious. Of course you do not want merely to tag along As if you take advantage of this technicality without really caring whether you arc Welcome. The real Issue is that they object either to his being seriously interested in anyone or to you in particular. In View of your hint that you May Well become part of the family it would be a Good idea to Settle this matter now. But he is the one who must Settle it. He must Tell his relatives that he would like you to attend and that he would appreciate your being made Welcome As you arc important to him. By indicating that you Are at least a serious candidate for family membership this should serve As a warning that their coldness to you is a mistake. Besides these things Are easily said among relatives a Quot come on aunt Fiona a she a important to me and i want you to be Friend so a and impossible to say about oneself untied feature Syndicate k it s t n s aquarius Jan 20-feb. 18. Self satisfaction comes through your ability to enrich those around you. Make your founds millionaires Pisces feb 19-March 20 revelation inspiration and contemplation Are your key words in the week also get extra sleep Aries March 21 april 19. Your friends question your beliefs and Al tempi to change your mind about them Taurus april 20-May 20 some of your outlandish techniques May no meet with the approval of your Boss gemini May 21 june 20 you May now be Able to see the Light at the end of fhe Tunnel congratulations. Cancer Juno 21-july 22 a now creative idea that you have can greatly increase your earning Power use it Leo july 23-aug 22 thank your Lucky stars for having someone special you can Call to an emergency Virgo Faux 33 sep 33 Tiet started on solving a problem in communications at work review the company s policies Libra sept 23-oct. 22 talk Over your current goals with your spouse and outline a plan to reach them Scorpio oct 23-nov 21 you gain nothing by defying your family and doing things your own Way keep the peace. Sagittarius nov 22-dec. 20 use your allies to accomplish what you want you cannot do it alone Capricorn dec 21-Jan 19 when it comes to Money you Are an expert on How to make it grow Chipley news Stuvie remember when candidates really looked the part Erma Bombeck it has been a while since anyone seeking the presidency has looked it used to be the yardstick by which we measured a Man who wanted to occupy the White House. There were Subtle things that convinced voters these were not Ordinary men. Woodrow Wilson reflected quiet dignity and intellect behind the wire rimmed glasses. Herbert Hoover looked aloof and staid under his highly starched Collar. Calvin Coolidge spoke six words a year and everyone thought he was deep. Who could forget president Roosevelt in his Black Cape and cigarette Holder at Yalta looking for All the world As if lie were occupying a throne then we got a Kennedy who ran his hands through his hair and never carried a comb an who showed us his surgery scar and a Nixon who tried to look presidential by walking on the Beach wearing a suit and a tie. In scanning the current crop of candidates it would appear we re in for another term of an untre Side tial looking president. Every time i see George Bush i expect him to Stop face the camera turn into Dana Carvey and say a live from new York it s saturday night Quot Bill Clinton always looks As though his alarm did t go off and he overslept. Paul Tsongas looks like a doctor who has just told you a you Are too advanced for liposuction. There s nothing we can pal Buchanan reminds me of every shoe Salesman i have Ever had who meets me before i sit Down and without looking Al my feet says. Quot we can t fit Jerry Brown appears As someone who would never actually live in the while mouse hut would keep a sleeping bag in the Security guardhouse. David Duke comes across As a maitre do who wears a Tuxedo to work and has to put a Rock under the wheels of his Hrak Eless car to keep it from rolling downhill. Tom Harkin would probably he the Only president in history to put a glider on the front porch of the White i Louse and sit out on a summer evening and eaten lightning bugs in a Jar. Boh Kerrey resembles an aggressive insurance Salesman who shows up at every reunion whether he went to the school or not. Sen. Lloyd Bentsen of Texas was the last Man i Ever heard described As looking you see where that got him. So it looks like one of the above will hold court in the White House. Maybe we know too much to keep the mystique alive. Universal press syndicated k 11 it i i \ working titles of 7 films 1. Rebel without a cause Blind run 2. Walt Street a greed 3. Road to Bali a Road to Hollywood 4 the Wolf Man destiny 5 Miracle on 34th Street a it s Only human 6. Invasion of the body snatchers sleep no More 7 night of the living dead the monster flick source retakes Page 8 a sunday february 16. 1992
