European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - April 5, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Odds amp ends j miss i its Judith Martin dear miss manners Are ones refrigerator doors and what is posted on them considered private or Are they open to scrutiny and comment by anyone who passes through ones Kitchen our family keeps a Calendar posted there with All our activities appointments Etc. We also Post a list of household chores so All of us can choose the ones we least hate and do them at our convenience. Also our youngest children have a set of magnetized letters of the alphabet which we use to write them messages e.g., a Bertrand plays Well with the baby a or a Griselda is smart and  lastly we sometimes Post samples of the children a artwork. A guest chatting in the Kitchen while i prepared dinner minutely examined these items and made embarrassing comments such As a you saw or. Moribund yesterday. What kind of doctor is he a As the doctor is a psychiatrist and i Wasny to eager to discuss the reason i consulted him i stammered a ooh the very Best  my guest persisted a who gave a party on the 15th? i Wasny to  perusing our list of chores he gasped a a you re going to sell the children a outgrown clothing at the consignment shop is Money All that tight a he also warned me against swelling our children a Heads with All that Praise and offered an unflattering psychological analysis of my daughter based on his interpretation of one of her paintings. I was so taken Aback that i simply ignored these comments and tended to my cooking hoping our guest would infer from the awkward silence my flustered activity and my intense blushing that i found his remarks embarrassing and inappropriate. Evidently he did not. On his next visit he again parked himself before the refrigerator read the list of chores and chided me a a Haven to you cleaned out the front closet yet a i took up his Jovial tone and said Quot please Erskine done to read the things on the refrigerator. We want you to like us which you can to possibly do if you know All these Little details about  he responded with some heat that they  be considered private since we a a display them. I explained that in our tiny Home we simply have no other location for such things that is accessible to All family members. Then i Lightheart edly suggested As i steered him to another room that if he found them so terribly compelling he could go ahead and read them but that he should do so discreetly and refrain from commenting on them. I thought that would end the matter but on his latest visit he again planted himself ostentatiously before the refrigerator said a ooh that a right a in a not supposed to read this a and merrily proceeded to examine and critique the minutiae of our social lives. My husband says the problem is that 1 in a too thin skinned and should not allow the comments to upset me and 2 in a not being assertive enough in discouraging the dear Fellows remarks. I could argue More forcefully if i Felt there were a Rule of etiquette to reinforce my position. Gentle Reader of. The Rule is a get out of the Kitchen Erskine a you can to be  you showed excellent taste in distinguishing Between the act of Reading the information on other Peoples refrigerators and that of commenting upon it. The first really cannot be helped. There it is and we Are All so used to Reading bulletin boards or our own refrigerators that the Reading is done before one even has time to reflect on whether it is proper. It is therefore Wise not to Post marital love notes or court subpoenas on the refrigerator. But whatever display there is is obviously intended for household residents and even the intimacy of being invited into the Kitchen while the hosts Cook docs not Confer on a guest honorary residence. The polite guest therefore pretends not to have perused the family papers. Erskine is not one of them. Tell him to go sit in the living room and read a Magazine until dinner is ready. And you might mention to your husband that miss manners is tired of hearing that anyone who does no to like to be bullied is thin skinned and insufficiently assertive. United feature Syndicate Kosc oils Aries March 21-april 19 you be reached a culmination Point in your efforts to expand your thinking. Graduate with honors. Taurus april 20-May 20 it takes an extra Effort for you to go out and make friends. Be deliberate. Gemini May 21-june 20 you Are at your Best in the professional Arena promoting your own special talents. Cancer june 21-july 22 love comes from your head instead of your heart. Good Luck with the intellectual approach Leo july 23-aug. 22 you Are facing a difficult financial decision. Don t hesitate. You must move on it now Virgo aug. 23-sept. 22 relationships take on an intensity. Your Best bet is to express your feelings clearly. Libra sept. 23-gct. 22 be conscious of what you Are doing and devise a plan of action to Manifest results. Ger of extending yourself. Done to bite off More than you can Chew. Sagittarius nov. 22-dec. 20 done to take everyone at face value. Look deeper to find their True nature. Capricorn dec. 21-Jan. 19 getting involved in Community activities has its rewards. Learn to give and receive Mutual support. Aquarius Jan. 20-feb. 18 your idea on getting out of debt is a Good one. Now practice what you preach. Pisces feb. 19-March 20 you might be accused of being a Little self entered but for once it s of. Enjoy. Scorpio oct. 23-nov 21 there is a Dan copy y news service if drafted i probably not run Erma this is the second time Tom Cecil an Ohio attorney has offered to spearhead my run for the presidency of the United states. In 1988,1 turned him Down because the position is a dead end Job for women. We re looking for something at a higher entry level. Tom is persuasive. There a no getting around that. A we face big problems a he wrote. A after backing Bush we found he was a Broccoli Basher. Worse yet he  keep his sushi Down. We also found his lips were not properly synchronized when he said a no new taxes a a Why not a president who will treat our precious tax dollars like grocery Money go to the grocery with $100 and come out with no More than $100 Worth of groceries. I can deliver  i done to know Tom. If the party really wants me ill think about it and get Back to their people i wont seek the office you understand but i wont say absolutely for sure that ill say yes or no. Actually i have a lot of problems Here at Home with my budget and As soon As i get them worked out ill Call a press conference and make my announcement. Nothing major. Just some silly misunderstanding about writing the Bank a Check to cover an overdraft. That a my last word on the subject except that i can see Why i must look like an attractive candidate to you. In be never sparred with Mclaughlin on to done to know any Gennifer who spell their names with a a a a never wore Percale sheets and never made headlines by dating Linda Ronstadt or Debra Winger. Also my last name is hard to pronounce. But done to press. Ill just keep in touch with you every other Day to Tell you in a still not interested. I wont do any primaries or campaigning. If there a a write in vote i wont be disappointed but i done to encourage it. That a spelled to my dec a there is nothing id like More than to stand at the convention and give a Sally Field Academy award speech a you do love me done to you a but you Are going to have to respect my Freedom to make my own decision. Before i drop out of sight i just want to reiterate a philosophical offering by Woody Allen that i personally live by a one path before us leads to despair and utter hopelessness the other to total extinction. I Pray we have the Wisdom to choose  the Bottom line is i am not running. Please Send me another shipment of Campaign buttons. Universal press Syndicate no Kidd inc a stars and world War ii 1. Walter Matthau a gunner on bomber 2. Errol Flynn a ruled 4-f 3. Rod Serling a paratrooper 4. Henry Fonda a air combat intelligence officer source world features Syndicate Page 10 a sunday april 5, 1992