European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - April 12, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Odds amp ends j miss m \ \ \ i is Judith Martin dear miss manners although this question is purely hypothetical i have been troubled about it for years. If a lady or gentleman were a Bank robber should he or she use conventions of etiquette such As Quot please and a thank you in plying his or her Trade i Hope no one will need this information but for the Sake of curiosity i must ask. Gentle Reader All right ail right miss manners believes you. She thinks. The fact that she gripped her hand Over the clasp of her pocketbook when you approached is purely coincidental. If your question is whether politeness would help a Bank robber Advance in his or her profession the answer is probably no although it might be of assistance to a jewel thief embezzler or anyone else whose doings Are made easier by Charm and Trust. As far As conveying deference is concerned there is just not that much difference de tween Quot stick Mem up and Quot stick Mem up  but the More interesting question which is the one miss manners Hopes you Are asking is whether a person who has no morals should also do without manners for the Sake of some kind of pseudo honorable consistency. Because astute people have noticed that a person can have manners without having morals they condemn manners As misleading. It is also of course possible to have morals without manners. We have quite a few people like that nowadays who go around rudely making other people feel terrible for not measuring up to their standards in everything from body weight to philosophical commitments. Obviously it is better to have both morals and manners. Miss manners does not deny that morality is the More serious virtue but wishes to Point out that the two Are related. The chief premise of manners is a readiness to temper ones selfish wishes for the communal Good which is not a bad place to Start building morality. In fact family etiquette a a a done to hit the baby who has feelings just like yours a is usually the first lesson in morality. So a Bank robber who follows the forms of consideration toward others May come to understand sooner or later that robbing Banks is a violation of that principle. Dear miss manners when opening a car door for a Friend should the Man walk in front of or behind the car gentle Reader after All is said and done it does no to matter. But miss manners would strongly suggest that a gentleman leaving his car for the purpose of opening the door for a lady walk around in front so that he remains in her Clear View. The gesture of opening a car door for anyone else other than an infant strapped into a car seat is by no Means common enough these Days to be expected. So a gentleman planning such a Man Euver had better keep clearly in sight of the object of it. Otherwise she is Likely to assume that he has disappeared into their destination More or less expecting that she will catch up with him later. She is then Likely to come lumbering out just As he approaches thus ruining the intended gesture by springing out or by quickly shutting the door again a possibly on his fingers a in order to allow him to open it. Dear miss manners when answering a phone Call for someone who does not reside in the household Many people say a no in a afraid you have the wrong  where does the practice of using the word a a afraid originate is it a term of politeness or of sarcasm gentle Reader do we have a vocabulary problem Here As Well As an etiquette one miss manners is not altogether sure that you Are aware that the word a a afraid can be used to express regret As Well As alarm. As the regret could apply to ones own inconvenience in answering a misplaced Call As Well As to the other persons disappointment in having made one it seems highly unlikely that sarcasm could be intended. Dear miss manners my Stepson is going to be married this Spring. My husbands two sex wives will be there. Am i required to speak or to be civil to these gargoyles it is going to be a Small Home wedding so there will be no Graceful Way of avoiding the two. Gentle Reader. Absolutely miss manners requires that you be civil and speak to All the guests at the wedding. Unless your object is to inform everyone present that your husband is in the unfortunate habit of marrying nothing but gargoyles. United feature syndicate11 k s 1m s Aries March 21-april 19 in the ups and Downs of the week you can stay on top by remaining entered. Taurus april 20-May 20 it is time for you to turn yourself Over to a higher Power for renewal. Let go. Gemini May 21-june 20 take note of that Brilliant idea that will Flash through your mind any Day now. Cancer june 21-july 22 your work is blessed with inspiration. Don t fight the changes that Are called for. Be unique. Leo july 23-aug. 22 there is something you must give away in order to Progress. Lighten your Load. Share. Virgo aug. 23-sept. 22 joint resources and financial debts Are your main concerns. Take control of the situation. Libra sept. 23-oct. 22 someone comes along and recognizes your talents and abilities. Now. Remember How great you Are. Scorpio oct. 23-nov. 21 be aware of your Workaholic tendencies. Use your tenacity in More enjoyable circumstances. Sagittarius nov. 22-dec. 20 an unexpected romantic involvement catches you off guard and drains your Energy. Practice restraint. Capricorn dec. 21-Jan. 19 in this yearly subjective Cycle spend time laying the foundation for future achievements. Aquarius Jan. 20-feb. 18 you hold the key for communicating with your subconscious. Program your mind with love. Pisces feb. 19-March 20 you have to work harder at self expression because your feelings Are in flux. Radiate peace. Copley news Servic Bear with us for just a few closing remarks Cindy Chambers turn on the of evening news tonight and you la quickly find out the truth thanks to the draw Down there is no news. Instead the show features 20 minutes of base closure speeches. You be probably noticed by now that every base closure speech aired on an looks and sounds exactly the same. That a because Clever military speech writers have come up with a generic base closure speech that has been making the rounds of generals offices for the past six months. The stars and stripes recently obtained a copy of this speech and we reprint it Here in the interest of military history. A ladies and gentlemen we gather Here this coming aft Moon evening to bid a fond Farewell to the hell fire battalion rolling Thunder brigade vicious woodchuck division. For the past insert years we have made history while changing the face of this country this City the local fast food Industry. A your past accomplishments present labors future errors serve for others As a signpost along life a Highway. We cannot be deterred from our dream a a dream that those who came before us could Only dream of. We have set the Standard made a difference left an indelible Mark that cannot be removed. A despite the rain rain rain Here today the future of the  military in Europe is Bright Clear extremely scary. And even though we Are packing it in calling it a Day turning this place into a ghost Tow you can feel Good knowing that you and your loved ones Are Safe secure frantically calling the transportation office. We have done our Job and it is time to move on to other tasks other hot spots a civilian position in a major corporation. A at this Point i would like to thank my wonderful wife insert name and two terrific children elderly parents crazed pit bulls for their continued support during this often arduous assignment. Because a ready Force requires constant training we have seen each other sporadically infrequently Only twice never Over a major Holiday. Yet they have never complained hardly Ever been really steamed Only filed official complaints three times a at least As far As i know chuckle jovially a in closing let me say that i am proud to have played a Small role in wanning up the cold War. We can All be proud a proud of ourselves proud of our accomplishments and proud of a proud history we can always be proud of. Thank you. And.  Cindy Chambers is a military family member in Schweinfurt  it Al dim films that Elvis Presley turned Down 1. Midnight Cowboy 2. A Star is bom 3. The defiant ones 4. Your cheating heart 5. West Side Story source world features Syndicate Page 10 a sunday april 12, 1992