European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 22, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse Too bad Leno and pals wont be Able to Wail at Quayle by Joe Queenan Quot special to the Washington about / a ufos v. A. O. A. A on a cd a is a a a a a v of Cisa. A a amp pm Tali in or it Afelt it j v valued / a August 1993. Its a torrid evening in fort Worth and you be just staggered in from a Long Day of unsuccessful sales meetings. Dog tired and depressed that none of your Best sales pitches has worked you Flop Down on the hotel bed grasp the to Remote and flick on the set. Immediately the image of Jay Leno appears. He has just launched into his monologue yet the audience is morgue like. He a cracking political jokes one after the other but they re All falling Flat As if this were a Wake. You re tying there dazed and confused As one of the funniest men in America is dying in Public trying to get the audience pumped up with the latest a1 Gore jokes. For the first time since the election it dawns on you. You miss Danny. Its True a the last moments of a Golden age of High political comedy Are passing before our eyes. For four years the improbable Dan Quayle has provided stand up comics and talk show hosts with sure fire material that has lifted the hearts of a nation. For four years Dan Quayle has provided the american people with a non Stop Supply of transcontinental chuckles giving each and every one of us something to look Forward to at the end of another Rotten Day. For four years the rest of us knew that no matter How horrible our jobs our marriages our children or our cars we could always look Forward to that monologue by Arsenio Hall Jay Leno or David Letterman in which they would report on the samoan Happy campers alternate Spellings of the word a a potato and the depredations foisted on the nation by Candice Bergen. And now that tiny flickering Light at the end of the dark Tunnel called life is about to be snuffed out. Professionally i done to pity the humblest Hoosier. Having spent a year writing a Book about the vice president fully expecting that he would be around for the next fou years so that i could sell a lot of books that would help me feed my wee emaciated children in a kind of ticked off at the Guy for going Down in flames and wrecking my career. Nevertheless the primary reason i am going to miss him is not professional but personal. Throughout the Long dreary Winters of �?T90 and �?T91, As we sat freezing on the Banks of the Hudson Quayle was always there to brighten our evenings and lighten our hearts with a witless comment about earthquakes or riots or what a waste it is not to have ones mind. We Here in sleepy hollow Are All Beholden to him. More than any vice president in recent memory Clinton focuses on movie to angles by Howard Kurtz the Washington Post resident elect Clinton says he is a mortified by some of w hat is shown on television and that Hollywood should take the Lead in a Degl amortizing mindless sex and in an interview with to guide Clinton also said that after taking office on Jan. 20, he might again go on it Farry King live or the Arsenio Dan Quayle thoroughly understood the nature of the office he holds. The vice president of the United states is not the heir apparent the capable understudy or the backup quarterback. The vice president of the United states is the designated National chuckle head whose role is to provide the rest of us with a steady Supply of guffaws and belly laughs. Richard Nixon with faithful checkers unders xxx this. Spiro Agnew with his nattering nabobs of negativism understood this. Harry Truman with the loud shirts and not knowing that we were working on an atomic bomb until for was dead understood this. Thomas Marshall who once said that any american traveler torpedoed by a boats while voyaging abroad had probably gotten what he deserved understood this. Teddy Roosevelt who planned to spend his eight years As veep studying for his bar exam understood this. Andrew Johnson who got drunk on the Way to his own inauguration understood this. So did Hannibal Hamlin the outgoing vice president who kept refilling Johnson s Brandy snifter. Despite the emphatically clownish nature of the institution Many vice presidents have failed to comprehend the nature of the office. Aaron Burr who killed Alexander Hamilton in a Duel did not understand that while americans expect entertainment from their vice presidents they do not expect that kind of entertainment. And Walter Mondale tried to make the vice presidency an office filled with Power prestige and solid accomplishment. Take a hike Walter. A1 Gore is clearly Cut from Walter Mondale cloth and that poses serious problems for the country. Quayle a congenial dunce is Given to statements such Hull show or conduct a a some kind of roving town in a slap at the press he said he would he a a nuts to allow his message to be filtered solely through reporters. Clinton who received big support from the entertainment Community said television and filmmakers a could without undermining their artistic integrity have a major new Impact on the Way people View the world. There a no question the cumulative Impact of this canalization of sex and violence in the popular culture is a net negative for America. A these things need to be confronted for instance i thought the movie Royz s the Hood Aid a very Good Job of show ing the superficial Appeal of the gang culture and Why it worked for kids who were fundamentally disconnected. But it also showed the dark underside of mindless killing a Clinton took exception to vice president Dan Quayle a criticism of Murphy Llrson Asur. As Quot the Western part of Pennsylvania is Rev. A. Western. And the Eastern part is More cast Gore is Given to statements such As the trance absence of emotion the banal face i if Vii so it men manifested by mass technological assaults on the clonal pm Rosment. Is surely a consequence of the Buchet in an underlying separation of intellect from the no Sasu try that one on for size. Or i no. Clearly Gore is temperamentally inca note get f fulfilling the vital role of official National chowder Era but could that change a is it possible that once he descends to the vice presidency he will lower him set ? it the indignity of the office to sink to the occasion a this would not be without precedent a ? he names Gerald Ford and Hubert Humphrey immediately come to mind. Yet in All likelihood this will not occur Hie Mous. Straight Arrow patrician Gore simple does t have what it takes to function effectively As an official Una Jester. This being the Case the search Tor a designated National numbskull must begin almost immediate Etc and if that search is not successful we will have no it me o blame but ourselves As we suffer through tour a earn it t infuriating poise and sobriety. For the past four cars. Danou Avie has Teadt Sriv nay enthusiastically functioned As a National who Nir Cushion As an indispensable v Alvr do wine Republic to blow off steam a1 Gore is a Nice mar., a so Nous Man a Ihu u Man an intelligent Man but Heno Dan t Jeavie the saving goes you done to Send a Man Rev. To Joe Cha Funari a it of Ter nasal a of rvs Rve i Mother saying Quayle picked the wrong target no was obviously trying to politicize it. He described the a family values rhetoric at he t tonal convention As a awful and Quot to Pailig. In the interview conducted before a he Electrum the Arkansas governor said the press has a Elm mate watchdog role hut that this a men or de extremes in a search for headlines. For is incr a missing pages from Rev department a was a Deal where Newsweek at so Sou had these Erious a Porter. So. V Mcd to Grill me about hat a Hen he a a m a m the tubes when it Hnz people t in non a my their health insurance Arm a these people seriously is our it a a the voters of this countr. a a a a a watchdog function nut is or a or a Quot meter pretend of he Amer a r. A Quot As. Re a. S
