European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 22, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Words amp wit Page 24clinton goes for the Throat not to mention the Teeth William Safire on language Newsweek in a the inside Story Quot of the 92 Campaign Points out proudly that a Mark Miller was Given extraordinary Access to the inner Workings of the Clinton Campaign thanks to the permission of the candidate  Miller reports an episode of interest to students of vivid figures of speech in general and of Southern american dialect in particular. When the Bush Campaign suggested that Clinton so people first economics would mean higher taxes for everyone who makes More than $36,000 a year Clinton according to Newsweek blew up. Pc Coli Wriler Paul Begala sought to assuage his anger Miller reports hut Clinton said Quot i want to put a fist Halfway Down their throats with this. I done to want subtlety. I want their Teeth on the  this is not the cherubic resolutely respectful Clinton that a plurality of american voters came to know and love. I historians and biographers will look at that direct i Unla Tion and ask was the reporter present to hear the words was his source Begala or someone else who was present and was the source if firsthand paraphrasing or quoting directly was this quotation relayed to the reporter from vivid memory contemporaneous notes a or from general recollection weeks afterwards will president elect Clinton confirm that these figures of speech a even if spoken on inside background rules for publication after election a arc indeed his own if so we have a Challenge to dialect etymology. First to put a fist Halfway Down their throats a qualified violence not so Strong As to put a fist ail the Way Down their throats a was presaged by Shakespeare in a Hamlet Soliloquy a who Calls me villain. Tweaks Etc by the nose gives me the Lye a the Throat As a Cape As to the lungs Quot earlier in Titus Andronic tis the Bard pioneered the metaphor of fist toward Larynx a still i have. Thrust these re proc full speeches Down his Throat that he hath breath d in my Dishonour  the image split in american dialect usage to ram Down the Throat Means a to Force acceptance a while to jump Down someone s Throat Means a to criticize suddenly Quot a third variant to Cut someone a Throat became a trope for intense Competition. Teeth on the sidewalk was presumably coined on the analogy of the More familiar blood on the floor both arc horrific images meant to exaggerate a severe  the nautical word picture a shot across the How has been replaced with the less cautionary More forthright a shot in the Teeth. False Teeth Are used in dialect As the basis of to drop ones Teeth calling up the picture of gaping in Surprise and losing ones dentures. The two strands a Throat and Teeth a Combine in the hyperbolic threat of Knock your Teeth Down your Throat. According to Joan Hall at the dictionary of american regional English area Black Spanish speaking informant from Florida is cited in the linguistic Allas of the Gulf states Lee Pederson a great work at Emory University As saying a a you a be picking up your Teeth off the floor with a broken president elect Clinton in conciliatory Mode.  Halls colleagues at the University of Wisconsin recall but cannot immediately cite a detective novel line a fall i could think of was How Good his Teeth would look on the  says the woman from dare a we could really use a concordance of Mickey  will the president elect once ensconced in the White House lose connection with the figures of speech of his Campaign or will he emulate Harry Truman and Lyndon Johnson and retain them As he likes to say publicly until the last dog Dies assuming the quotations attributed to him in  so inside Story Quot Are accurate we can await memoirs by aides along the same lines. Sooner or later there will be a confrontation Between president Clinton and the Senate majority Leader George Mitchell who has an especially Toothy smile. Dialectic ians can to wait for a confirming citation. The now York times if Clinton ship its because his is so hefty Tony Kornheiser lets play a game. Lets pretend we arc thumbing through the Persona ads and we come upon a 46-year-old Man who pre Srnis himself this Way salary $35,000. A neither owns nor rents a Home. Has a cat. We would think this person is a. A total loser. B. A total loser and potential serial killer. The Correct answer is the next president of the United slates now let s consider this Here a Bill Clinton campaigning for president on the grounds that the Economy is a total disaster and Only he can fix it. And he s making $35,000 a year. Thirty five grand is $673 a week before taxes. Us 35 grand is not Chicken feed. But for a graduate from Yale univ school the Guy managing the Burger King makes More than that. That a embarrassing in t it one Day Clinton s asking for your vote and the next Day a if he lost a to slav even financially he a asking if you want Fries and no House forty six years old and no permanent address. Just a slut House belonging to the people of Arkansas. You a think by now he would at least have bought a trailer. Everybody in Arkansas has one. The state Seal of Arkansas is a Crow perched on a trailer hitch. No Money. No House. No voice. Right after the election Clinton a voice was so shot he was literally taping notes to his shirt. A Nice to Sec you. Thanks for your  he will be the first president to give an inaugural speech in sign language with an interpreter Yelling the words. I done to know if we be elected a president or Mummy Tschanz no muscle tone either. When my kids asked me Why i was for Clinton i said it was because he was the Only Guy running for president in the last 20 years who s fatter than me. It tickles me All these photos of Clinton jogging. Whereas he jogging to the Dairy Queen people talk about How hip Clinton is. Of sure compared to Bush he ship. Bush thinks Dir pc stocks Are a prudent alternative to a Money Market fund. Face it Clinton in t hip. Baby Boomers Arentt Elvis fans the beatles sure. Elvis no. By the Lime Clinton was in his Rock v Roll prime Elvis was already a fat Guy in a jump suit singing wac Hawaii. What did Clinton Admire most about Elvis that he wore a truss and what Are we to make of this Cut what kind of irredeemably precious name is socks anyone who names his cat socks would probably dig up a cutesy poo trendy name for his kid too. Personally i hate cats. Because they Are not dogs. Dogs Are wonderful you can pistol whip a dog and a few seconds later hand him a wad of Salami and he thinks you re the greatest Guy in the world. Just try that with a cat and Sec what happens. Note to animal rights maniacs i am not advocating pistol whipping cats. This is a joke of i am also not advocating Flushing a cat Down the toilet or putting a cat in a microwave and turning it on High Power for five minutes or until Golden Brown or lock inn a cat in the Freezer. The problem with cats is they have no loyalty at All none. They arc cold and diffident. They re not pets. They re sex wives. However i remain unalterably opposed to mailing them to Europe. Is this what the transition is going to be consumed with 1, where to put the litter Box 2, whether to Drain or clump did i mention that i certainly done to advocate stapling cats to the rudders of nuclear submarines or humiliating them with bad haircuts dogs arc w hat a president should have. Though not any kind of dog. I could never vote for a Man w to had a Chihuahua a especially the frighteningly miniature hairless Chihuahua Xavier Cugat used to Kec p in a Teacup or those Yuppie puke Golden labs with the plaid bandannas around their necks. Dogs will always be dogs. They will always make you laugh a like when they drink from the toilet bowl i mean what a funnier than waxing your floor and then luring your dog onto it by tossing a piece of raw meat at the far end the dog slides around like a gnat on a Light bulb. This is a True Story that happened to my Friend Gino. He was walking with his wife in Washington s Rock Creek Park on the bridle path. Nearby were their two kids and running joyously ahead of them was the family dog Sophocles not her real name. Gino was saying to his wife How great it was that they had Sophocles though they had doubts at first the dog had gradually charmed her Way into their hearts until they considered her an actual part of the family. They lamented How people who do not have dogs never understand How these wonderful animals Are so affectionate and adventurous and intuitive that they Are very nearly human. Then they turned the Cornet and up ahead there w As Sophocles gleefully wolfing Down a Gigantic Mound of horse manure. Let s see a socks Quot do that. Creators Syndicate a sunday november 22. 1992