European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - March 7, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse That sound you hear is theories clashing James j. Kilpatrick. The writers Art land Back if you please while i deliver an apostrophe to the Apostu Pohe of apostrophe dear apostrophe Why do you trouble us so what have writers done to deserve the quarrels you cause the Chicago manual of style sets Forth a a general rules on proper names ending in sibilant. Thus Burns s poems Davis s Home Jones a reputation. This is the Rule at the new York times which Speaks of Tennessee Williams a plays British air ways a Purchase and or. Sessions s future. The. Times is specific the Quot so is dropped Only Quot when two or More sibilant sounds precede the the Washington Post also decrees the apostrophe Sas in Quot Jimmy Connors a will to so does washingtonian Magazine a gov. Richards s the Kankakee 111. Daily journal reports Quot Morriss signs.�?�. A on the other hand the associated press style Book says to use Only the apostrophe. So the Miami Herald Speaks of a judge Philip Davis unique de the Charleston . Post and courier said that sen. Danforth was a a Thomas guiding time Magazine recalls that president Bush had Quot Graves Bill Safirt word maven for the new York times says a a Graves a is wrong. It should be a a Graves a disease a but his own newspaper in a forgetful moment wrote a researchers finding new ways to learn about Graves Well a foolish consistency is the Hobgoblin of Little minds. My own general Rule is to go with the sound of the possessive word. 1 have said it a Hundred times we read not Only with our eyes but sub consciously with our ears what do we hear the times last fall reviewed a movie that dealt with a the band Crsp Smock tasteful not one person in 10,000 will read that As a the Binder suz what we hear is a the benders household a and 1 would punctuate it just that Way. Yet we do say Quot the time suz style a so i go with i like a a Davis a the Chicago manual decrees Quot general Noguess troops and Quot bar lion a a i would recommend the apostrophe Only. I ask you to read aloud a a which Falls More tripping by from the Tongue a Avau Couleur a or a so on to something else How should we punctuate a double possessive Usa today reported in january that Tyrone Ford a had been a supporter of Marion barrys during the former mayors drug that same Day Usa today identified Laura Anthony As a a College classmate of Hillary Clinton but Usa today also has identified labor Secretary Robert Reich As Quot a close Friend of Clinton Quot the new York times in january said that a journalists defy a Friend of Bill at their own on another occasion the times spoke of a party arranged by a Friend of Lyle. the editor of websters dictionary of English usage prefers the apostrophes i.e., a a Friend of or. Is u Connors a or Connors forehand my own vote goes to the times style Quot a Friend of Bill a whenever i see Quot a Friend of Bill so i want to ask Bill a what a Friend of Bill smother his brother a Friend of Bill a wife apostrophe o apostrophe what shall we do with you every manual of punctuation will Tell you that its Quot two Days Supply of food and Quot an hours the associated press reported from Somalia that a refugee ship set Forth with a Only four Days Worth of food for 600 the Portland oregonian interviewed a Salem firefighter who climbed 27 flights of stairs wearing "50 pounds Worth of please take my word for it these possessive apostrophes Are Correct. They Trace their usage to the latin Genitive. A convict thus is put on a three years an editor May have �?o24 years experience.�?�. Universal press Syndicate facing the Bald facts can be disheartening Tony Kornheiser id better write fast 1 might not live till the end of this column. In a Bald you see. Yes you can see a even with this comb Over which is so desperate it makes Dorn Deluise look like Little Richard according to a Boston University study men who arc Bald like me a i suffer from a highly technical medical condition sometimes referred to As Quot Fred Mertz head have a 340 percent higher risk for a heart attack than men with a full head of hair. 340 of vent that alone is enough to give me a heart attack. A the Story was front Page in the new York times and Usa today. 1 know because approximately 18,000 people showed it to me. My Boss who has a head of hair like a Raccoon came Over to me and with great glee said a i saved something for then he handed me the newspaper and stood there As proud As if head deciphered Avogadro a number and he shouted out Quot not Only do you look bad a now you re dead thank you or sensitivity. Luckily my Friend Nancy was nearby. She sweetly tried to offer encouragement by reminding me that last year there was a similar report about How left handers die Young that has since been discredited. Being a righty i replied Quot who cares about left handers Quot 1 am reminded that a Friend approached me about this Bald heart attack business and said a i have empathy for you because last week there was a study that prostate cancer is linked to vasectomies and i be had a Vasectomy a and because i m a caring compassionate kind of Guy i said a what does that have to do. With me a the Point is in a Bald and any second now i could drop dead. And nobody will even bother with an autopsy. just look at my head and say a yeah it write on the coroners certificate a the mortis beat the sorry and Here i was thinking that i was just thinning. Isnit it great How Bald people have so Many euphemisms that sugarcoat their condition a like the eskimos have 1,000 words for men who have no More hair than a plucked Chicken will say they have Quot a receding hairline Quot or a a prominent 1 like to refer to myself As a Fol locally the times Story was accompanied by a 12-picture graph of the various stages of baldness. Underneath the one that most resembled my head was a caption that read a already 1 have male pattern baldness. I love that phrase a male it makes me sound like a quilt. Excuse me miss would it be possible to see something in a slightly thicker weave i want to Send away to butterick or simplicity for a different pattern. My hair began falling out when 1 was 18.1 asked my doctor if there Way i could save it. He said a sure a and handed me a Baggie. I thought the aesthetics of baldness was pain enough. Now i find out its a double whammy. Damn. Just when baldness was becoming sort of Vogue god bless Michael Jordan. My smart Friend Martha was insightful about Why Bald men die Early a i think its because they re incredibly anxious and angry about being Bald a and it kills . Ironic Isnit it for years i have tried to foil my balding genes. I took hormone treatments. They gave me oestrogen. I Felt Fine but i had an uncontrollable urge to become attorney general i wiped thick goop on my head. I tried Romaine. But i did it All for vanity a Sake a to get women. Who knew it was life and death if one of these goofy Miracle cures works a like the one on the infomercial where the Guy shakes out what looks like herbs on your Scalp then rubs them in and vol a your head suddenly looks like it was painted by Earl Scheib a if one of these Miracle cures works and i can really grow hair will that save my life because if it will ill put a Chia pet on my head. I can to believe there a real science Here. How can so Many Bald people die Young when they All look so old surely the study must be a mistake. Winston Churchill lived to be 162. George bums Bald As an egg and he a 340. Ike. Looked bad yeah but lived a Long time. Gandhi. Got shot so we done to know How Long he would have gone. Julius Caesar. Stabbed. Ditto. The jury a still out on Sinead of Connor. Isnit it interesting that Upjohn which manufactures Romaine sponsored the study is this to scare you into using the product As your Only hedge against death Are we dying from baldness or exposure do you think maybe if i got a really Good rat creators Syndicate Page 24 sunday March 7, 1993 i
