European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 16, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse Exes Joe Bob Briggs goes to the drive in Louever notice How much people talk about their sex wife sex husband sex Girlfriend sex Boyfriend sex Lover sex Roommate sex Gay live in housekeeper sex Lesbo Avon lady sex bodybuilder masseuse sex whatever and in every single Case they hate these people As soon As they use that wicked Little prefix sex a you re about to hear some Golf Ball sized Hail hit tin the roof. People can to talk about it without veins Standin out on their foreheads. What a going on Here i mean i have old girlfriends. I have great memories of Mem. I done to think of Mem and go a boy was she a conniving manipulative balloon head a a i done to see an sex wife and say a that Little Gold digging big haired credit card devouring lipstick Lizard a i mean even if she was a Gold Digger and big haired and loved credit cards and wore Way too much lipstick that a probably not what i would remember about her. You know what i mean listen up people. If the person does no to Wanna be with me / done to Wanna be with the person. Speaking of Guys who done to get the message dark tide is this great new flick about a Bimbo scuba diver who goes to a tropical Island Paradise to meet her Boyfriend who son a Mission to find deadly poisonous sea snakes and sell their venom for medical research. Only she does no to realize that she has entered a country dedicated to the ancient religion of woman hating and she a liable to be fresh meat for Richard Tyson the stringy haired beefcake Michael Bolton looking sort of Guy who works on her boyfriends boat and is always trying to find a Little extra curriculum aardvarks if you know what i mean and i think you do. Eventually Tyson has become one of those Creepy one night stands from hell in a country where All women who dance in Public Are considered sluts. Needless to say the local supreme court will not be hearing those sexual harassment suits. One of your Wetterlow budget erotic thrillers. Six dead bodies. Six breasts. Multiple aardvark ing. Scarf sniffing. Native girl beating. Hanging. Killer Snake in the Bathtub. Three rapes. Arm slashing blood smearing. One face on fire. Harpoon in the stomach. Speargun through the Back. Deadly snakebite. Exploding motorcycle with fireball. Venom fun. Drive in Academy award nomination for Brigitte Bako As the hot scuba diving French Bikini wearing heroine for telling a psycho a right now i really want my relationship to four stars. Joe Bob says Check it out. Joe Bob s advice to the hopeless Republican Alert the Marlboro drive in on f i i Richard Tyson Brigitte Bako in dark tide. State Highway 11w near Kingsport tcnn., stands in Majestic ruins. The scum suckers Tore it Down and did no to even do anything with it. Todd Wyatt of Bristol reminds us that without eternal vigilance it can happen Here. Dear Joe Bob Briggs the reason in a writing this letter is to comment on your article a when born again turns into bored Well i happen to be a born again Christian and my life is anything but Boring. Obviously if you think being a Christian is Boring then you definitely done to know Jesus Christ As your Savior and never have. My life is better than its Ever been and i still go to the movies but in a definitely one of those peo pie that like the trash you Call a movie lust for Freedom. But personally i think there arc a lot of Good movies out there terminator 2, Young guns and the last of the Mohi cans which i plan on going and seeing tonight. And when i get Back 111 Pray and read my Bible and know that my eternity is secure because Jesus loves me and died for me and the same could equally be True for you if you would Only open your eyes because i once Felt the same Way you did. God bless. Pfc. Bradley Hatton a a a a a a a / . Army Kaiserslautern Germany dear Brad what amazes me is that you Guys always know the exact condition of my soul which is about the most judgmental thing you can do to another person and then you expect us to understand How wonderful your life is. If it was so Dang wonderful you have to sell it. Dear Joe Bob you often make a fuss about censorship. It is a hopeless fight because everybody is in favor of it the differences Between Peoples opinions Are Only two issues 1. What is to be censored you even mention self censoring of advertisers in your Magazine. Even i feel called to the barricades to defend child porno or snuff films. Are there really any such things As snuff films 2. Who is to do the Cyri Soring Aye there a the rub although i might favor some censorship As i just mentioned there is nobody that can be trusted with the Job. So a reasonable person Are there really any such people would have to put up with unpleasantness by cause the censorship alternative is much worse. Bill Hatton Wellesley Hills mass. Dear Bill actually child porno and snuff films Are the easiest things to Deal with. One is a straight rape prosecution and the other is a straight murder prosecution. But these Are the red Herrings used by censors to justify eliminating everything else. Ask any pornographer. These Guys Are squeaky clean when it comes to complying with the Law. They get age statements from their actors. They make them show a birth certificate. They always pay everyone in Cash so they re not accused of being pan deters. When they audition someone they always have someone in the room so they re not accused of using a casting Couch. They inform everyone about the possibility of sexual disease and suggest precautions. In other words porno is a thousand times More honest than the real film business. They want to comply with the Law. They want to comply with every detail of the Law. So Why Are they constantly harassed because nobody believes in free speech anymore. Nobody. Creators Syndicate to discuss the meaning of life with Joe Bob or to get free junk in the. Mail and his world famous newsletter write Joe Bob Briggs. . To 2002. Dallas Texas 75221. Joe bobs fax line is always open 214 368-2310. Or in 1$ r file the new York times Kathleen Sullivan in her heyday with lbs. To just overweight by Lois Romano the Washington Post head is a shocker a cold Shower for egocentric professionals everywhere. An overweight woman is watching a familiar television image of an attractive much Slimmer newscaster. A one moment in a a network Anchor a the woman tells you casually. A and the next a she adds patting her stomach a Well look at and then your Mouth drops open and you realize that who you re seeing is Kathleen Sullivan once one of the hottest names in television journalism hawking weight watchers. So what does she say to old colleagues who May be remembering that phrase about the mighty falling a a in be heard just the opposite from no journalists to be Frank a she says confidently. A a a you be taken a step a to get the real Skinny or fat if you will out of the Way what stateside to viewers will be seeing this week and next is an and Blitz for weight watchers new superstar program with the final weigh in showing an 8v5-Pound loss for Sullivan. It has been a Long slow climb Back for the 40-year-old Sullivan. She splashed on the screen in �?T80 As Anchor for the fledgling can then was an Abc news and sportscaster and by �?T87 was the co Host of cd the morn no. Her collapse came three years later when she was canned by the network following poor ratings. The obituaries were less than kind describing her As a lightweight and temperamental. 1990 was anything but her Best. divorced my father died i was fired and i hit financial ruin by june Quot she says from new York. A i was trashed. I lost everything. But i did no to lose my dignity. A my weight my face my hair came into play with every critic a what i should look like and what i should be. It was very exhausting a she did finally react to harping that her hair was too Gray. It is Gray no longer. A no one had the guts to Tell me Quot she says. A i had to read after she was fired she got offers to Host tabloid to shows but declined. A i had to be True to she was on no cd steam for the �?T92 summer olympics coverage and now is a co Anchor of the syndicated show life choices. She a living in Rancho Mirage calif., these Days and in sum is at peace with herself. And her weight loss. She says she a Halfway to her goal. A this has been the Best year of my life so far a she says. A a it a a great diet and i know a in be tried everything else. I love eating real food. I love my sourdough Unda Herbee did not write her column Lor this week. January 16, 1994 sunday Page 21
