European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 30, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Miss manners Judith Martin dear miss manners when i am playing cards with my friends and the phone rings is it proper for me to answer the phone or to let the person calling leave a message on the answering machine gentle readers Why do you have an answering machine because you can t afford a Butler miss manners presumes. You certainly need something if not someone to avoid leaving your guests sitting around the table holding their cards helplessly and exchanging exasperated looks while you chatter with some one who in t even there. So make use of it. Dear miss manners is it Ever appropriate to give someone the Finger particularly when driving i live in Boston. Gentle Reader certainly not. What Are you thinking goodness gracious of. You live in bos ton do you miss manners remembers glimpsing you and your fellow sportsmen through her Carriage window. It was not a pretty sight. Insulting people in the streets is neither a proper nor a sensible sport even in bos ton. Dear miss manners if our Host and hostess do not indulge in alcoholic beverages but they serve them to their guests is it proper to take them a bottle of wine gentle Reader do you happen to have in mind a particular guest of theirs who might enjoy it May miss manners inquire whether that person might already have a firm grip on the bottle with the idea of handing it Over so that it can be opened and its contents returned in a Glass presents to hosts or anyone else for that matter should be selected in order to please them. The vicarious pleasure that they might get from seeing the giver of the present having a Fine time tucking it away does t count. Dear miss manners when and How should the hosts offer seconds at a Small informal dinner party four to 14 people around one tableland when and How May the guests ask to be served a Sec Ond helping of a course i have seen every variation from the Host individually asking each guest to the Host not mentioning the subject and the guests asking if they May have seconds. What if for example the guest is aware that there is More meat in the Kitchen that the Host 1994. Cartoonists t writers Syndicate Curtis Effiew England i be heard of monopoly Money but monopoly credit cards probably intends to offer but has forgotten assuming there is More to be served what should a Good Host do and failing a direct offer what May a hungry guest do by Way of saying please sir May i have More gentle Reader while hosts May always offer seconds guests must proceed More cautiously be cause they can neither be sure whether More is Avail Able nor How Many other courses Are going to be served a ,. / .,-./. Except your particular guest of course. Miss manners notices that this guest has taken the precaution of checking out the supplies in the Kitchen. But such prudence does t count. Perhaps the hosts Are having a whole other dinner party the Fol lowing night. A Host May say would you like some meat As Many times As he pleases and As Jong As the Larder. Holds out although the terms seconds Ano even " some More Are not used lest it seem As  is keeping track. I a  but a guest can Only prompt by saying repeatedly my that was ,6rv As Yogi demonstrate by � quoting or. Dickens. ,. Dear miss manner show could 1 Tell my. Boss that she is a wonderful person i be been writing to Tell her this before but i feel she re ight take it the wrong Way. She is caring and understanding. She is vice presi Dent of the corporation. She has treated me with re Spect since Day one and has always been a lady. How could i Tell her that she is so elegant with class a real lady that she reminds me of Claudette Colbert that s How Beautiful she is. She is smart Tough Strong and at the same time Loving. In our department three of us work for her one White one Black and one hispanic me. I feel As if we Are her Rainbow tribe. She makes us All feel and know that we Are a team. Do you think that is laying the sugar on too heavy of she also has the most caring eyes and soft speak ing voice. She s no wimp either. She can be Stern. Gentle Reader miss manners is glad you recognize that one can be both caring and Stern be cause that is what she is about to be with you. It is wonderful that you Admire your Boss and that you want to Tell her so. But do not attempt to do this until you have mastered the difference Between professional and personal compliments. The effect you want in return is How Nice to be appreciated and what a wonderful employee he is not of of  in the meantime miss manners insists that you learn to clothe your ardor in professionalism. The paragraph about the lady being understanding is Fine. The next one is decidedly not. The part about the team is Fine the part about her eyes is not. United feature Syndicate feeling incorrect address your etiquette questions in Black or Blue Black Ink on White writing paper to miss manners . Box 91428. Cleveland Ohio 44101-3428. The Quill shortage prevents miss Man ners from answering questions except through this column. Nik Tel Aviv Israel � 1994. Cartoonists & writers Syndicate the Best Way to lose weight is to get a big push Erma Bombeck t s. A i a again. The diet frenzy happens ".everyjanuary. Throughout the years we have watched Lynn Redgrave rip off her fat dress Ann Jillian hyperventilate Over her Milkshake and Shari Belafonte relate How she pigs out on a chocolate and loses 10 pounds. This season we Are going to follow Kathleen Sullivan Down the yellow Brick caloric Road to a size 3. I want to believe All of them but i m sorry the real key to dieting in t discipline or having a Sensi ble diet or even exercising regularly. It s motivation. That s Why i m convinced the Only diet that will work for me is the Oprah Winfrey diet. It s simple. You hire a personal Trainer to come in and help you work out twice a Day hire a chef to prepare every bite of Low fat food that goes into your body and Here s the big Factor have your own talk show on television where you Are stalked by two cameras five Days a week and millions of viewers search to see if your stomach protrudes when your jacket opens. That s the diet i want. But i am fast running out of motivations. It used to be the prom then my wedding finally a reunion. But these Are one shot deals. Every Dieter needs help from his enemies to become motivated. If the tabloids ran a picture of me with my head buried in a bowl of guacamole i d diet. If Joan Rivers took off on me like she did Liz Taylor pointing out she went through the Golden Arches and got stuck i d do it. If i complained to the police that i was being stalked and they pointed out it was my legs rub Bing together i d change my ways. The harsh reality is that if i am Ever to succeed in dieting i must get my own television show. Please god. Don t let it be a cooking show. That s too cruel. Universal press Syndicate no kidding a cast of thousands 1. Benhur used 50,000 extras 2. Exodus used 50,000 extras. 3. Around the world in 80 Days used 60,000 extras 4. War and peace used 120,000 extras 5. Metropolis used 36,000 extras 6. Gunge Din final Battle scene used 900 extras movie facts and feats it in t Over till it s Over 1. We i Andorra declared Over in 1958 2. We ii Guatemala declared Over in 1956 3. Wii Indonesia declared Over in 1958 4. War of 1812 a Battle one month after armistice 5. American revolution Battles 10 months after surrender 6. Civil War Battle six weeks after surrender Confederate ship surrendered seven months after War ended the last time when Page 10 sunday january 30, 1994