European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - June 26, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Words amp wit foaming at the Chance to get it right for writers the possibility of error a Lin Guisti Cor factual a is infinite. We cannot be paralysed by this. Check recheck and then go ahead and take a Chance if you wait for absolute certainty you will never commit a word to paper. This profundity grips me after a polemic i wrote in another space criticizing the critics of a theme Park planned by the Walt Disney co. In Manassas a. Standing firm for artistic expression even by Mickey mouse i had taken a pop at several columnists of Hillary had to be harried to consider marines sometimes you team a new fact about somebody you know and instantly gain a perspective that explains everything. Take pc wee Herman. You a watch this alleged adult prancing around in his Bow tie and White socks looking like a badly drawn character from a 1952 indonesian comic Book and you a ask yourself what gives what is the Dea with this Schlemel can anyone be that much of a loser then illumination comes in the form of a Solo performance in a darkened movie theater. Ladies and gentlemen miss Ster Pec wee Herman thank you very much. Lets give him a hand so to speak. Or Lassie. You watch Lassie for years and you love her daring and her intelligence but there a something about her you can to quite put your Finger on. Her courage at times seems almost excessive almost Foolhardy. Also she is never Content to just save Gramps from the mine Shaft she then has to gloat about it in this deep throaty triumphant bark. Also she drinks water from a Bow like a Slob. Then one Day you find out something that puts everything in a new perspective Lassie was a boy a male dog. Which would explain Why you never saw a fire hydrant on the set. Anyway i read an item in the paper last week that did the same thing for me about Hillary Clinton. No Hillary is not a boy. Not to my current knowledge anyway but suddenly she seems to make much More sense to me. It was puzzling Here is the most competent member of the Clinton administration who is not even posed to Honky Tonk intrusion into the neighbourhood of the Battles of Bull run. One of those popped was Jonathan Yardley of the Washington Post a defender of the areas serenity who i asserted had written a foaming a on the subject. In choosing that unfamiliar but readily understandable word to describe excessive vituperation i intended to Call up an exaggerated mental picture of a maddened animal Quot foaming at the  i rejected family which looks too much like Quot family Quot and sounds like a dialect rendition of formerly As Well As froth ily from the expression less common in America of Quot frothing at the  Yardley a Book critic unaccustomed to incoming fire responded  a column entered on his discovery of a word error by a professed word maven. A foam my Hunt As i May Hunt As i might a he modified dangling by Quot it is a word nowhere to be found. Not in the american heritage dictionary of the american language third edition that sic is kept Handy to my Reading chair not even in the websters third new International dictionary of the English language unabridged that sic again a try a a which when introducing a non restrictive clause sits on a stand beside my desk. Family yes but foam ugly  is there such a word As foam ugly has that adverb Ever been cited in a reputable lexicon As having been used before yes. Three citations can be found in the Oxford English dictionary the most famous being the Pas a the making up of Hillary Rodham Clinton. Technically a member of the Clinton administration a strikingly handsome woman of astounding talents and with an awesome a sum and yet she does no to seem Ever to be entirely satisfied with herself. She keeps changing. Her name. Her hairstyle. Her clothes designers. Her entire image remember the Campaign one week she says she Isnit some kind of stay at Home wife who stands by her Man and bakes cookies. And the next week she is literally baking cookies and handing them out to the press. What gives Hillary. Then last week i was stunned to learn that in 1975 Hillary tried to enlist in the marines possibly she was looking for a few Good men As she was about to marry a Man who was looking for a few Good women my first reaction was that it sounded like something that arose out of a Drunken bar bet. You know like when Guys dare each other to do something stupid say take off their trousers pull their underpants Over their head and whistle the theme to Mihigan s Island except this must have been a group of female lawyers imagine it. A bar scene. Hillary Rodham Clinton to be says a yeah Well if you re so a smart i dare you to argue the pro life position that the state has the right to Force women to carry unwanted pregnancies to  and Camille of Rourke Lefkovitz responds Quot of yeah Well f dare you to shave your legs and join the marines a Hillary in the marines hmm my. Hillary reports that the Recruiter looked at her in her thick glasses with her burgeoning crowds feet Sage from the poet Robert Southey Siso 1 narrative poem thai Aba the destroyer an epic about an arabian hero fighting the forces of evil a the Winter torrent Rolls Down the dec Channic Llu Drain course  the revised random House second unabridged cites that adverb As Well. The Point Here is that nobody can be absolutely 100 percent sure when correcting another persons Choice of words. Yardley checked two reliable sources enough for an investigative reporter Isnit that enough for a critic no its not. Even had he tried the current cd rom of the Oxford English dictionary the most thorough language source in the world arid even if that data base did not have any citation though As we have seen it has at least three that would not allow certainty some specialized dictionary or publication chemical foaming reactions review or whatever might turn it up. What to do you can to Check around forever if you re writing for a newspaper. So you take the plunge and Hope the Pool has been filled or that nobody cares enough to Correct you. In the Case of foam ugly it was t Anil so Nebo by did. When i called previous usages of foam ugly to my columnar colleague Yardley a attention he Good Nat redly replied Quot id always suspected hat Southey was a Pinko  be not discouraged do not freeze at the Prospect of possible error. As the Fumble ulc directs learn from Mist Eaks. The now York times and said Quot you re too old you can to see and you re a woman a proving almost anybody can pass a Sim Pic multiple Choice exam. The Recruiter also allegedly said a maybe the dogs would take you a apparently referring to the army where soldiers Are called  but Hillary was new to Arkansas then and May have misunderstood his dialect. He might have said Quot maybe the frogs would take you a a implying Hillary should try the French foreign legion or a maybe the hogs will take you a a reference to the University of Arkansas Razorbacks or maybe instead of Quot the dogs would Lake you lie was saying Quot the dorks would take you a a reference to a possible career in the life insurance Industry or he might have simply said a you make my Knees Knock a and Hillary has chosen to repress that memory. Note to desk have somebody Call the White House and ascertain just How inebriated Hillary was at the time. When men enlist in the marines they re usually so drunk they attempt to sign the enlistment form with their tongues. Of and leave room for an insert when the White House assures us that Dill tried to enlist in the marines also and was turned Down during the physical when he kept taking his pants off during the eyesight exam. Anyway then i got to thinking about it. Why did Hillary apply to the marines How docs it jibe with her nearly neurotic compulsion to remake herself All the Lime when you think about the marines you think about what the look. Marines look a certain Way. They Are steel eyed Guys wearing big goofy lace up boots and absurd camouflage gear that looks like a garbage Many a uniform that has been vomited on by owls. Their hair looks like it has been Cut by scorpions. In the marines every Day is a Bud hair Day of you do get a Cool sword Here is the thing As a Marine you at ways look the same. You Are supposed to look the same. So you done to have to worry about your clothes or your hair or anything. You re a Marine. You look like a wind up doll. Any questions anyway dial s my theory. Attempting to Deal with her own insecurities knowing that she faced a lifetime of personal grooming indecision Hillary made a desperate bid for the kind of enforced Structure Only the marines could provide. A. They turned her Down and the rest As they say is history. A co atoms Gand Catu