European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - July 17, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse Words amp wit James a Kilpatric the writer s Art be trouble with injunctions pronounced. By the court of peeves irks amp Crotchet is that the injunctions done to stick. Back in 1985, the court banned a single nine years later a single most is still committee of the american bar association reported that secrecy a continues to be the greatest single source of Public distrust of lawyer disciplinary the court inquires what was gained by that word a a single in april the new York times described a what Many experts believe is the single greatest health threat in water Newsweek said microchip technology was a the single most profitable initial Public offering of 11993.�?� economist Robert Samuelson had a word to say about taxes a the single most important fact about our tax system is that it induces or inspires widespread in South Carolina a Benefactor gave presbyterian College s2 million a one of the largest single gifts in the history of the the court will enter one More injunction prohibiting a a single in constructions. The gift to the College was simply a one of the largest Samu cd Sony a fact was a the most important and so on. To be sure there May be circumstances in which the qualifying a single most makes sense. Let us suppose that a dozen contributors join in a Large gift to the College. In that event the $2 million could properly be described As a one of the largest single gifts in the institutions history. Ordinarily the Quot sin go cd is redundant. Redundant while the court is in its anti redundancy Mode. The court also will banish a first Ever Quot As in a the Popes visit marked the first time Ever that a reigning pontiff has come to a professor Thomas Knapp of Ohio state University notes the increasing use of a gender a and inquires a is no to gender a grammatical rather than a biological term a Well yes and no. It is not often that the court of peeves irks amp Crotchet reverses the supreme court of the United states but Justice Harry Blac Tanun a usage cannot be resoundingly affirmed. In his opinion of april 19, Banning sexual discrimination in the selection of jurors Blackmun spoke repeatedly of a discrimination on the basis of gender and gender based in a dissenting opinion Justice Antonin Scalia shafted his colleague a today s opinion is an inspiring demonstration of How thoroughly up to Date and right thinking we justices Are in matters pertaining to the sexes or As the court would have it the genders a As Knapp correctly implies a a gender is primarily for grammar a a sex is for More pleasant subjects. Florence Miller of san Antonio seeks a declaratory judgment on the distinction Between a a and the dictionaries Are not much help on this one. Certain usages Are obvious. We Are not ill of violence on to we Are of it. It is not a wind. But an ill wind that blows no Man Good. In the matter of ones health the court ventures this dictum is Short ill is Long. Thus a drunk is / to his stomach Little Algernon is in bed but will be All right tomorrow. By contrast Mimi had been ill for a Long time before the last act we insure against a Long term illness not a Long term sickness or. Frank Espey of Greenville s.c., asks the court to clarify the meaning of the court declines. Whether As noun or verb a a sanctions is one it of several words that carry precisely opposite mean. Ings. A to Cleave is another to Sanction can1 mean a to permit to authorize to in another context it Means a to impose penalties to the courts advice is to sigh and forget it. The English language gives us much to sigh Over. Walter Baty of Brookings ore., is peeved by he would enjoin its use and order a a unload in its Stead. The court dismisses his petition. A a offload has been around since 1840 or thereabouts. It has tenure the verb carries a connotation of unfinished action. A truck going South from Portland might off Load something in Eugene and unload the rest in Medford. Please be advised that the court of peeves irks amp Crotchet welcomes your questions which you can Send to Universal press Syndicate 4900 main st., Kansas City to. 64112. In its rulings the court May often be wrong but it is nearly always decisive. A a Universal press Syndicate Ato stand in the sumo Arena. Tony Kornheiser we begin today by quoting a wire Story that would be a testament to Good old american ingenuity a if it Hadnot happened in Tokyo a to gain the minimum height requirement to be a sumo wrestler a japanese teen Ager had 6 inches of silicone implanted under his Scalp. Takeji Harada 16, who had failed six previous eligibility tests finally made the Grade in june a thanks to the huge bulge on his head which added about 6 inches to his . Lesser journalists than myself might be tempted to poke fun at a Story As this failing to give due consideration to unfamiliar cultural imperatives. After All this Story originates in a society that remains largely mysterious to most westerners and we must resist the urge to draw unfair and insensitive conclusions. Still the Story does raise several intriguing scientific questions. Such As 1. Will he wrestle As a the magnificent bal dark. 2. What a Putz no Harri Don t believe this kind of elective surgery is covered under the Clinton health plan anyway it s not that i Don t feel sympathy for a big time wrestling. Rada. I do a though i must admit that if i had the Opportunity to add a few strategic inches to one of my body parts my head be my first option. Note to copy editors please delete previous joke so i am not fired. Thank you. The sumo Story notes that Harada grew to Only 5 foot 2 inches and that is hardly his fault a though i wonder about the guidance Counselor in Japan. someone have looked at this kid and said a sumo jockey a Why would there be a height becoming a sumo wrestler anyway please done to Tell me there is a deep concern for the health of the wrestlers because we Are talking about men who arc literally As fat As cows. They weigh 550 pounds. Their cholesterol count is higher than the nikkei you lined up four 550-Pound Guys and three were 5-8 and one was 5-2, do you honestly think anybody. Would Point at the 5-2 Guy and say a will you get a Load of that tub of lard a so i feel badly that Harada was discriminated against because of his height. On the other hand having 6 inches of silicone implanted under your Scalp is a hilarious act of desperation. The boy can to really believe this operation has made him taller. All that has happened is that some doctor a where did he go to med school Kuala Bumpur Tahaha a turned his head into a Speed bump its sort of like some kid with a d average and 430 combined on his College boards trying to get into Harvard by wearing an Einstein mask. What a the attraction of being a sumo wrestler anyway As a sports expert i can attest to the fact that they Are basically hugely fat men with enormous jiggly bodies. Tiey tic their hair into buns and they Wear diapers their Job consists of consuming disgusting quantities of Rich foods and competing in maybe two matches a year matches lasting at most four seconds each and entailing no injury risk beyond being belly bounced rudely on ones behind a in return for which they receive Gargantuan sums of Money and Are worshipped As gods incarnate and must fight off phalanges of Lithe 95-Pound vixens who want to have acrobatic sex with them constantly i mean who would want that of so Young Harada was motivated. But even if he had his heart set on getting these implants to be. Come a sumo a a and a the silicone sumo has a ring to it a it have been smarter to take the injections in the feet not the head if he adds 6 inches to each foot he a pretty much living with built in platform heels like John Travolta in. Saturday night fever. Worse comes to worse if the sumo thing Falls through he can put on a Qiana shirt and get a Job As the worlds fattest disco dancer. Now with this Cone head All he can be is a coat rack. Finally in the interests of science and with Basic human concern for Harada i asked my research team to Telephone an expert in the uses of silicone. She revealed Many valuable and frightening things. First silicone under the skin tends to Migrate Over time which is to say it kind of redistributes itself All Over the body sometimes in vaguely unnerving and embarrassing manners. Let us just say that one Day you can have a Large and inviting bosom but the next Day you could have a smaller bosom and,.say, a Tail. So Harada might soon find himself too Short once again to be a sumo wrestler but for example perfectly designed As a Unicorn a or a beanbag chair. On the positive Side my expert mentioned that among its Many uses silicone is a key ingredient of Simeth Icone which reduces ones output of flatulence i done to know How this might affect 1 Lurada a but considering his great Girth and diet surely that a not bad. A a. A a Cioa Tois s a a a a so july 17, to a
