European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - July 31, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                I Page 16 if you can to find a life there a always a theme Park Joe Bob Briggs goes to the drive in the world is divided into two kinds of people human beings and theme Park people. You can to Cross Over that line. Its genetic. You re either a theme Park person or you re not. Some people have a mutant brain cell that says a go to Orlando spend All your Money there eat nachos out of a plastic tray a and other people like to spend their Money on Normal things like triple Sec margaritas. You know what in a talking about do you have friends like i do who have gone to six flags 14 times and worry that they wont get to see the mechanical airs shark jump up out of the water and almost Chew the Arm off Little Timmy before a a he a too old to appreciate it a do you know people whose idea of ecstasy is sitting on a plastic chair beside a Man made Lagoon. Staring at paddle boats and chewing on a banana Pushup while Cross eyed teen agers in starched Golf shirts pick up gum wrappers with a Spear do you know people who think god must have built Epcot himself because no mortal being could possibly put that much fun in one place. Did i miss something Here or Are there 19 Pihion More people going to theme Parks this year than Normal ? what happened to healthy american Leisure Lime pursuits like slam dancing club med and swimming Nek kid in the Colorado River i in to go on with this. In a shaking. In a losing it. Somebody unfreeze Walt immediately. Lets at least ask him if this is what he intended. Speaking of stories that should be preserved in a time capsule test tube teens from the year 2000 is the old familiar tale of High school students from the future who Zap themselves Back to 1994 so they can sneak into a girls boarding school dress up in. Drag sleep with future Playboy playmates and convince Morgan Fairchild that she  Cany out her plan to make All sex illegal. Sure we be seen it before but have we seen it with a terminator style Arnold Schwarzenegger Imper. Senator and a disco till you puke party scene i think not. Two dead bodies. Twenty two breasts. Great extended Shower scene. Goofball time travel machine. Drive in Academy award nominations for Fairchild As the anti sex girls school principal whose motto is a make Money not love Brian Bremer As the nerdy test tube teen Christopher Wolf As the Jock test tube teen Michelle Matheson As the Bookish boarding school girl who turns into a Punk mama and Tamara Tohill As the future nuclear physicist with two enormous talents. Two and a half stars. Joe Bob says Check it out. Joe bobs advice to the hopeless Victory Over communism the Mendon drive in in Mendon mass., still packs in 300 cars on the weekends attracted by a 40-by-80-foot screen radio sound and a revamped Concession stand containing a Vintage Wurlitzer Jukebox. Biff Dorsey of Portland ore., reminds us that with eternal vigilance the drive in will never die trip to the Moon Worth the thrills e the world Tamara Tohill is an aspiring nuclear physicist in test tube teens from the year 2000. Dear Joe Bob still no drive ins in Korea. There is no room Here for even parking4fctijhough i think some Entrup manure could make it big by stringing big screens Down the major expressways and pumping the audio in by radio to entertain the millions of us who get caught in the monumental traffic jams. A 45-minute Jaunt took me four hours two weeks ago this is the Only a Western style developing country that lets its construction machines walk crawl and hobble to their Job Sites on their own treads tracks pets and motive Power on their major roads this country never heard of a flatbed trailer that did t have a conc for Export aboard they have the Only expressways with Speed dips big enough to Bottom out a monster truck their roads have no crowns and the bridgework is falling Down and when it Rains it s hydroplane City before All the Hyundai drown. They do have drive in movies without the drive ins. Namely scores of neighbourhood video stores peddling first run trash that never saw the Silver screen in the . Of a. I suppose it relieves the Monotony of costume dramas and romances that interspersed with the housewives singing contest and this. Weeks new Talent All their to stars singers Are a a Talent Over herein All you get on the Blue tube. Thank god for Hong Kong about the Best of the r mess Are the chinese ghost mip Vics where the he roes villains and such Pogo jump among the living. The plots what there Are of pm Are easy to follow without translation and the sight gags Are at least up to Fork s Levels. Jim Misch a. . Army. Yong Sang South Korea Dea Jimbo after Reading your description ill be checking All those Seoul flight schedules this afternoon. Dear Joe Bob what do you do about a Guy you done to like in fact he puts a bad taste in my Mouth on the rare occasions when i think about accidentally running into him except with my Carbut you know he a in town but you done to want him bothering you and you just can to say a stay away from me and you know he might come looking for you what do you do Jan Moore Wilmington . Dear Jan you say a stay away from  want me to beat him up creators Syndicate to discuss the meaning of tile with Job Bob. Or to get Freo junk in tha mail and Joe Bob s world Lamous newsletter write Joe Bob brings . Box 2002, Dallas Texas 75221. Joo Bob s lax Lino is  214 368-2310. Linda Ellersen y the time you read this the hoopla. Around the 25th anniversary of the Moon Landing will be Over so Why bring it up again i do so because the anniversary activities made me Stop and think about just How far from 1989 we be come and not necessarily in the right direction. \ on july 20,1969,1 sat in front of the Little Black and White television set in an almost As Small apart mint in Eagle pass Texas Down on the mexican Border. My nearly 4-month-old daughter was asleep in her crib. My grandmother who had been born before there were telephones sat next to me listening to astronauts talk to us from the Moon. We were that Day part of the largest audience Ever to see anything on television a there were you will recall Many people who thought we ought not to be going to the Moon at All not with so Many people on Earth who were hungry unemployed uneducated and lost. And there were some people who thought we never did go to the Moon that it was merely a trick of television. But for the rest of us it was a rocket ship to the Moon and we went along for the ride. What a ride it was a. On july 16,1994, exactly 25 years from the Day Apollo 11 lifted off the pad on Cape canaveral and headed for the Moon i sat in a television studio with a Bunch of kids Between the Ages of 8 and 12, we were waiting for a live Hookup that would allow the kids to talk directly with the astronauts on Board the shuttle Columbia about 187 Miles above us. Sitting with us on the set was a former shuttle astronaut a Bruce Mccandless. While we waited for Nasa to connect us with the shuttle the kids began asking Mccandless about space travel. They seemed to have a thousand questions for this Man. They talked Over one another in their Rush to ask questions and As they did i thought about reporters who had called me before the show. In one Way or another All of them had asked the same thing did i really think kids today a kids who were so technologically hip who had been using. Computers since Babyhood and who took such things for granted a would be in the slightest bit impressed or even interested in something As technologically common As talking to astronauts in space after All the shuttle program was old hat. Then the Hookup was Complete and we were on the air and talking to the space shuttle arid it was Clear to me that the kids in the studio and those on the Telephone from All around America a and even those who were technologically sophisticated enough to fax us their questions were excited. Yes i know that going to the Moon was an expensive Way to learn about space but you know what it was a very cheap and very big thrill for the entire world the kind we Haven to had for a while a May never have again a and i miss it. Watching those kids talk to the shuttle astronauts seeing their obvious excitement i realized it was Only the old who w Ere bored with space travel. Today s kids when they asked the astronauts when average people would be Able to go into space there seemed to be a Light shining All Over them Call it imagination. Call it the technology of television. I Call it Moontow. King features  if Ida july 31, 1934