European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - August 07, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                All that talk from today s kids is hardly played out j by Stephanie Rene new Day the 90s kids have a unique language Al their own. Here Are some words an phrases that Are hype popular today Wack not  that Story was  Fly Good looking  re looking Fly  Kickin smelly take off those Kickin  played out old. That song is so played  Phat pronounced fat Cool. Those Are a Phat pair of  All that pretty coot he thinks he s All that. Fine very Good looking. That boy is  Herb Geek. My brother is such a  Dis to make fun of. Stop dissing her like  Hook me up to set up or give Hook me up with some  i Hope these words help you fit in a Little better. And remember the next time someone says you re looking Phat today say thank you quoria Vista. Brian Bonsall Star of Blank Check is Young enough to warm to Hook me up with some  designer Coffee is the current Toast of the town Tony Kornheiser in the 50s, the craze was ice Cream. Ever weekend the family went out for ice Cream sundaes and banana splits and then your dad dropped dead at 48, his arteries plumped unlike Kielbasa. _ _ _ so we reconsidered our diets and opted for some thing less frivolous and More nourishing and in the 60s, the craze was pizza. Pizza was also horrible for your health inasmuch As it consisted essentially of bread for useless bulk cheese for circulatory blockage Tomato paste for Colo yeast for infections and those red and yellow Flake peppers for boils and blisters on the roof of the Mouth. Eventually the diet gurus entered our lives and in the 70s, the craze was salad bars which featured Garbanzo Fatkuli and Gano Ozi Beans and other Fine ethnic delicacies you would not feed to the average Hamster in the 80s, we had enterprises dedicated to the production and sales of fresh chocolate Chip cookies As though chocolate Chip cookies were a product of great Quality and sophistication. Now it s Coffee. _ i people actually go out for Coffee. Like it s a movie. Like it s entertainment. All across America every store that goes out of business is replaced by a Starbucks or a Quartermaine s or some other fancy Coffee Chain featuring this week s special peruvian Monkey foot decaf. All Day Long there Are lines out the door for cof fee what Are they putting in it heroin look Coffee is Black and bitter and you drink it when your eyes Are red and your Tongue feels As if it is coated with Goat fuzz and it makes you feel momentarily better. One thing Coffee is not is entertainment. Still nowadays Only three kinds of people stand on America s streets. _ smokers who Are banned from every building and forced outside like cattle in a pen. " people using arms and the people waiting to kill them. ,. Trend oids who have bought an idiot Coffee like espresso Macchiano and Are congratulating them selves for knowing the difference Between foamed milk and St Umed milk. In the old Days and by old mean in those Days before anyone compared Keanu Reeves to sir Lau rence Olivier Coffee came in the following varieties Jalack regular or Light. _ there were no flavors. Folks Only cared if their Coffee was hot not where it was grown. People saw Juan Valdez the colombian who handpicked the Beans with a Donkey the Donkey at whose shuffling Side he trudged up and Down the Coffee Fields pick ing Beans and All they really cared about was if they washed the Beans at customs. Now there Are at least 400 different coffees. It s like going to Duron. You say i m looking for something to go with a mostly Burgundy persian  they say How about a ugandan koha hazelnut Latte. You say with foamed milk not steamed right they say what do we look like peasants if that in t pretentious enough Starbucks hands out a pamphlet that assures you of the world s Best Beans roasted to perfection and prepared at Peak freshness by our professional  baristas Are they like women lawyers i remember Coffee houses from the old Days when you d take a Date who always dressed Only in Blackland listen to some Guy who looked like Maynard g. Krebs recite poetry and play Bongo Drums. There were tables and chairs and you could order food. The Coffee they served was turkish and it was so thick you could stand up a paint Brush in it after one cup you began to grow a Mustache. There was a sense of Community. Today s Coffee House has one window Bench where people drink their Coffee like parolees and stare at the Street watching buses go by. There s no food to eat just Biscotti the 14th Century s version of Melba Toast which tastes like a pumice Stone. Hot Coffee and formaldehyde Are the Only two solvents that will soften a biscotto. _ " so Why Are they there spending outrageous sums _ of Money on what is after All just a cup of Contee obviously to show off. There s a Coffee snobbery that rivals wine snob Jaery. You have your foam is. Steam. Your Mug is. Demi. Your new Guinea Teaberry is. Ethiopia yer. Gac Heffe. God help you if you ask for Costa Rica tres Rios and you can Only name Dos of the Rios. Anyway now it s Coffee. But what s next " " my Friend de says the next big thing is Toast. Just Toast. Totally Toast. House of Toast. " grilled Over or Mesquite extra Kristy roasted on7a t hey you know what might go great with Toast Coffee. -.-. ".,_ creators Syndicate. Page 22 sunday August 1994