European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - August 7, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Controlling fury without cooking your Goose Dave Barry a to to Day a topic for married people is coping i with anger. I even so called a perfect couples expel m Rienche conflict. Take Canada geese. They mate for life so people just assume they get along Well when people see a Goose couple flying overhead honking they say a ooh that a so romantic a what these people done to realize is that honking is How geese argue. A a Are you sure we re heading North Quot a yes  a Well i think we should ask  the Only reason they mate for life is that they can to afford lawyers. Its the same with humans. Even if you love somebody very much you eventually discover that this person has irritating habits  As leaving Toenail clippings around the House As though they were Little Art displays or not disposing of the potato Chip bag after eating everything in it except three Salt molecules at the Bottom or secretly being also married to somebody else or humming the song horse with no Namer responding to every single statement you make a including obviously factual ones  As that Montpelier is the capital of Vermont a by saying a Well that a  no matter How much you love your spouse eventually the smooth unblemished surface of your relationship will be marred by a Small pimple of anger which if ignored can grow into a major festering zit of rage that will explode and spew Forth a really disgusting metaphor that i do not wish to pursue any further. This is Why you married couples need to learn to Cope with your anger unless you Are Rose Anne and Tom Arnold in which Case you need to move to separate continents and shut up. For an excellent example of a married couple coping with anger we turn to an incident that occurred several years ago involving my brother Sam and his wife Pat when they were on a Long car trip. After Many hours on the Road they reached Charleston s.c., where they were going to visit an old family Friend. Pat was driving and Sam was giving directions and they got into an argument about the Way he was giving them. If you done to understand How  a Petty Issue could cause an argument then you have never had a spouse so Pat decided of if Sam were so Good at directions then he could drive the stupid car. She got out slammed the front door and opened the Back door to get in the Back with their 2-year-old son Daniel. And then she decided hey Why should she ride in the Back like a child so she slammed the Back door. But before she could open the front door. Sam assuming she was in the car drove off. Pat was left standing All alone at night with no Money wearing a to shirt and a miniskirt in what turned out to be a very bad neighbourhood. A they pretty lady a called a male voice. Meanwhile in the car Sam was driving with great intensity and focus Reading Street signs making left turns and right turns showing Pat he thought just How excellent his directions were. It was not until he had gone a considerable distance that he realized Pat was being very quiet. A Pat a he said. Silence. A Daniel a said Sam trying to sound As Calm As possible a is Mommy Back there a a no a said Daniel. A wok Daniel a said Sam performing a High Speed turn. A just be  he immediately became lost. Meanwhile Back in the bad neighbourhood Pat walking briskly away from various admiring males found a bus station with a pay phone called 911, and explained where she was. A do not go outside a said the 911 person. Meanwhile Sam driving frantically while remind ing Daniel to stay Calm had located the general area where head left Pat. He saw a police officer Rushe d up and quickly told him what had happened. The officer said a you left your wife Here a without another word the officer leaped into his patrol car and tires squealing roared off. Sam never saw him again. Meanwhile at the bus station another officer sent by the 911 person had found Pat who was explaining the situation. A my husband and i were having a disagreement a she said  a ooh a said the officer. A a  a no a said Pat. A a it a not a Domestic. My husband  another officer arrived. A they a said the first officer. A i got a Domestic  a it a not a Domestic a said Pat. Pat was taken to the police station where the officer called the old family Friend a this being the Only person Pat knew in Charleston a and explained the situation. Quot a i got a Pat Barry Here on a Domestic a he said. A a it a not a Domestic a shouted Pat in the Back _ ground. Fortunately Sam also called the old family Friend and he and Pat were reunited at the police station where Pat graciously elected not to seek the death penalty. So everything worked out Fine except that to this Day Daniel becomes mildly concerned when Mommy gets out of the car. Anyway i Hope paths and same a experience serves As a lesson to you spouses about the importance of not letting your anger fester and of using proven psychological techniques for dealing with conflict in your marriage. For example on Long car trips one of you should ride in the trunk. Quot a the Miami Herald a Page 24 sunday August 7, 1994