European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - August 28, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Miss manners Judith Martin dear miss manner when one sees an acquaintance at a place such As the grocery store says hello and then goes on Only to see him again in the next aisle is it necessary to repeat the greeting gentle Reader a Chance encounter in the household supplies aisle does not count As a com plete visit with another Chance encounter in the fresh produce aisle requiring totally new greetings expressions of Surprise at the coincidence and so on. But neither May you ignore someone you know unless you Are so convincingly engrossed in seeing whether three for 49 cents is a better buy than four for 59 cents that it is possible for that person s renewed presence to have escaped your notice. Miss manners recommends the wan smile theone that could equally Well pass for i wish we had time to visit instead of having to do All this shop Ping or can you believe these prices dear miss manners i m a sensitive Type of Man and love surprising my Fiancee with unexpected gifts Flowers etc., and enjoy helping her or doing things housework laundry or dinner while she is Busy with school or studies to make her Day go better. For our engagement announcement there will be a picture of both of us together. The wedding announcement is where we disagree. My Fiancee and her Mother Are quite Adamant that it is Tacky for us both to be in the picture and the proper Way is for her to be alone. I feel smitten by this decision and by their reluctance even to consider my opinion. In an Effort to persuade them i asked Why put my name in the announcement at All just say that she got married. Is there a Rule about the Correct Way to make the announcement gentle Reader you really did t need to Tell miss manners How sensitive you Are to get her on your Side. But since you arc so kind she would appreciate your getting dinner on the table. It is True that the custom has been for the photo graphs of brides without bridegrooms to appear with Public wedding announcements. The rationale if any was that nobody cares what the bridegroom is wearing. But when customs Are silly they Are Ripe for change and this one certainly is. Some newspapers have already adopted a policy of showing couples to Gether. So miss manners agrees with your position. Where she parts company with you is on the Sugges Tion that this incident can be taken As indicative of character traits that might not be pleasing in marriage. A sudden feeling of ultraconservative Ness in connection with tradition is on the whole not a bad Way to approach marriage. Without further evidence of indifference to your opinion miss manners suggests you shrug this off. Dear miss manners a couple who Are friends of ours have a policy of never answering their Tele phone every Call goes through their answering machine. Later sometimes two Days later they return your Call. Keep in mind this couple has no children. The wife works part time on occasion with no other activity in their Home. I object to having every Call screened and i think it is inconsiderate. Sometimes you Only need a Short answer to a question such As what time do we meet before the movie it appears to me that they Are accumulating information and responding after All the offers Are received then tailoring their replies based on the last phone Call. Am i wrong to think that screening 100 percent of your phone Calls for two years is abominable behaviour gentle Reader Don t you suppose that these people might object to having their lives screened for their own decision on whether to admit Visi tors to their own Home you have scrutinized their family Structure and professional and personal activities and decided that they have unjustified and socially sneaky motives. Miss manners is not surprised that they Are not so eager to hear from you As to be willing to allow you to dictate the terms. It s kind of too bad. Theirs sounds like such a pleasant Home where an invited guest would receive uninterrupted attention in a peaceful atmosphere. Perhaps you have guessed by now that miss Man ners sees nothing wrong with people screening their Telephone Calls which is to say refusing to place themselves in a perpetual state of being on Call in their own Homes. However she would have been sympathetic had you complained that their habit had actually caused you a reasonable inconvenience. A legitimate complaint such As i thought we were supposed to meet at the movies but we never agreed on a time and when you did t respond to my inquiry i was forced to get there an hour Early for fear of missing you is one in which miss manners would support you. / United feature Syndicate feeling incorrect address your etiquette questions in Black or Blue Back Ink on White writing paper to miss manners . Box 91428 Cleveland Ohio 44101-3428. The Quill shortage prevents miss ners from answering questions except through this column Steiner Usa or x fresh Breeze comes with a new school year Erma Bombeck for years i be heard kids compare being i school to being in prison. It s the other Way around. When inmates Are release from incarceration they Are Given a Small sum of Cash a new suit of clothes and advice to get a  3pwhen kids Are released from summer they Are Given lunch Money new underwear and a second Chance to get it together. The septembers of their lives hold bonuses that come around Only once a year. They get a locker that is clean and empty and does t cause them to pass out when the door is opened. They get a new class schedule that they actually believe contains subjects they can pass. They have new teachers they have never met be fore who when they Tell them their Homework blew off the table and landed on a Patch of adhesive their father just put Down to Lay new Kitchen tile and it stuck there will buy it. Some teachers will have new jokes. The new year is a land of Promise where the cafe Teria serves a great Taco that beats mom s old meat and potatoes. They re going to serve tacos every wednesday until May but the kids Don t know that there Are new Guys and girls to Ogle who have been transferred from other schools. Summer is overrated for school kids. Always has been. It s great for about two weeks and then bore Dom enters the body and goes right to the Bone. It s three months of your mom standing Over you at your bedside asking what you re going to do today and when Are you going to do it. If you Don t think fast you Are provided with a list of chores beginning with Mclean this  Public education is something we Al take for. Granted. Having the Best teachers and the most sophisticated learning devices at our disposal is to hum. Just think about it kids. God has Given you a second Chance to pass algebra. Make the new under Wear count for something. Universal press Syndicate no kidding stars in High school 1. Eddie Murphy voted most popular 2. Bruce Willis most school spirit 3. Cybill Shepherd most attractive 4. Shirley Maclaine most talented 5. John Lithgow most creative 6. Dennis Hopper most Likely to succeed 7. Pee wee Herman most talented yearbook by Carey Winfrey Dolphin books what Priscilla got when she divorced Elvis 1. Lump sum $2 million 2. Monthly payments for 10 years $6,000 3. Monthly Alimony for one year $4,200 4. Monthly child support $4 000 5, Money for la Home $250 000 6. Percentage in Elvis Public companies 5percent v. So Suha Toby Fred Worth and Steve Tamerius contemporary books Page 10 sunday August 28, 1994