European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - August 28, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse Lurking fear of hearing these from girlfriends Joe Bob Briggs goes to the drive int in sentences a Man never wants to hear from his Girlfriend 1do you think you Ever might want children actually there s a variation on this one do you think you Ever might want a second family now that you be Learned from the mistakes of the past 2. Two of my sorority Sisters Are moving next 3. Do you believe that our past lives determine who we re going to spend our Best years with 4. I should just leave a change of clothes at your 5. I told my Mother and the rest of my family that they can t live my life for me and anyway they Don t really know you like i 6. Maybe some Day i should go to work with you and keep you company when you re on 7. That s the third time you be mentioned 8. I m just quoting All the things you said right be fore we made 9. I never thought i could like the suburbs but today i was driving through a subdivision and i Don t know i just wanted to be with 10. I can t Tell you what i m crying i m telling you Guys if you hear any of these Start thinking prenuptial. Better yet Start thinking Grey hound. I m not kidding. Speaking of Nasty interpersonal relationships this week s movie is lurking fear starring Michael Todd As a tall bloody eyed Zombie with nursing Home hair who lives underneath a Catholic Church with a Bunch of his fellow mutant slime baby relatives. One Day a Cowboy Lookin Guy played by Blake Bailey gets out of prison and Heads for the Church graveyard where he plans to dig up a body that s stuffed with Money Only Jon Finch is a mobster who s following along behind him with guns and Kung fun Hench people. And of yeah. Ashley Lauren and Jeffrey Combs have rigged the graveyard with Nitro and they re Sittin around in the Church with a pregnant woman they re using for bait to try to get the creature to come up out of the basement Only the priest keeps Yellin at pm that he won t allow violence in his Church and then the gangsters bust in and Start shooting and Takin hostages and. I Don t know what the Heck happen sin this movie. Fourteen bodies. Heart ripping. Shotgun blast through the Chest. Fistfight. Zombie Rama. Cat fight. Exploding graveyard. Kung fun. Molotov cock Tail fun. Drive in Academy award nominations for Vincent Schiavelli As the goofball funeral director for saying i stuffed the stiff Combs As the whisky guzzling or. Haggis who says this town has been on the goddamn dinner menu for 20 years Al Lison Mackie As the dressed to devastate Femme a tale who likes to do Kung fun in the and says Money does t concern me Lauren As the girl try ing to kill the monster that killed her sister for say ing hellfire just like Poole said and Michael Todd for Puttin on the serious claws and the old lady hair every Day u create grandpa Zombic who Suys your blood will be our blood two stars. Joe bub save cd tick i oui. Allison Mackie in lurking fear. Joe Bob s advice to the hopeless greedy capitalist Alert Coury s drive in in North Adams mass., last remaining drive in in the area has closed. And the evildoer once1 again is Wal Mart enemy of drive ins across America. Wal Mart paid $2 million for the land. Thomas Mcgarry of Lake Oswego ore., reminds us that without eternal vigilance it can happen Here. Dear Joe Bob let Freedom ring enclosed is a copy of the recent action of the Cali fornia medical association House of delegates condemning Media violence except that which is Essen tial to the plot. I was there and had the pleasure of testifying in favor of this Resolution sadly our Only drive in the airline so named be cause it s in the flight path of the Airport went out of business in 1989 except As a Swap meet. Still has the Entrance Gate and the screen though. Charles Nicholson . Montecito Calif. Dear or. Chuck so where do the esteemed doctors of California stand on the Issue of exploding Heads i for one Don t want to live in a world where exploding Heads Are banned. Dear Joe Bob i need info on where i can find a film called the restless ones starring Kim Darby circa 1965. De Neville Little Rock Ark. Dear de the restless ones is not available on video according to All the latest guides. Sorry i tried. My mom ordered me to try. Thanks a lot de. Dear Joe Bob i Wanna know Why you Are always giving Traci lords and Ginger Lynn Allen credit for their porno past yet you have not acknowledged Madison Stone s past and As far As i know continuing career in the porn business. Maybe you Are playing some sort of politics and if you Are shame on you pal. Maybe you just Haven t gotten around to mentioning it. Maybe you Are so Busy you actually did t know about Madison which i doubt. shot of her dancing from naked obsession that ran twice in less than a year in your newsletter generated enough interest from readers that you ran a third different photo and mini Bio in the Zine. I thought for sure you would mention to All who were interested that More of her could be seen in other movies. What s the Deal Graham Niven Rayford . Dear Graham Madison makes dirty movies honest. I did not know. Will my reputation suffer because of this ou.0 jew co to. Of Sof in of 8 d to. Of 2 i it was the kind of Story that leaves a Hole i your heart even if you Aren t a Mother. When read the Story on the associated press who it was Early in the morning Early enough that until that very moment the Day had looked positively Green with possibilities. Then i read the Story that began Rosa Colon was ready to let what followed told me that Rosa Colon was a woman who lived in Philadelphia. Rosa Colon had a 6-Ycar-old daughter Felicia according to the Story Colon s daughter had been shot in the head by a stray Bullet on thursday which was the child s birth Day. The Little girl had been taken to the Hospital where for three Days she Lay in a coma. Although Felicia had shown no signs of conscious Ness or brain activity her Mother had insisted on a Respirator to Aid her daughter s breathing and medi cation to help her heartbeat. I read More and Learned that Felicia had been the baby in her Fani ily and that her 11-year-old brother Brezhnev and her 7-year-old sister Rosa had visited Felicia in the hos Pital and had Sung Happy birthday to her. But on the fourth Day the child s heart had stopped and Felicia had died. As the a Story put it despite doctor s efforts Colon had to say Good Bye to the Little girl she called fifi " a sad Story. I could not imagine How that poor woman must be feeling. I was i am terribly ashamed to say very glad i was t that woman. And then i read about the Guy who s charged with shooting the kid. His name is Oscar Santos. He is 27 years old. Bui he did t shoot the kid for no reason. Of no he had a Good reason. Listen to this. According to Phila Delphia homicide capt. John Apeldorn Santos Drew his gun after learning his parked car had been sideswiped by a passing the cops said that Santos chased the offending car on foot then he came Back and Well gee sorry Guys but for some reason the gun went off once and a Bullet struck Little Felicia Colon in the head. Now wait a minute. Let me see if i understand this correctly. He pulled his gun because somebody Side swiped his car. I see -. A. Well that explains everything does t it i mean you Cali t let something like that go unchallenged now can you of course he pulled out his gun would t anybody what kind of a world is it where you draw a gun to avenge a Nick in your fender i wish somebody Hail answers Here and i Don t think the answer Iii throw Emall in jail and throw away the keys any More than i think the answer is to understand where he s coining from and try to probably the Only answer is evolution. In a Way Martin Luther King or. Believed that too. Once he said that Man was born into barbarism when killing his fellow Man was a Normal condition of existence. Then he became endowed with it con science. And he has now reached the Day when Vio Lence toward another human being must become us abhorrent us eating another s Atas we arc still living among flesh eaters. Ami it goes Kef y f to Tuff s August 28, sunday pack
