European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 11, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Miss manners Judith Martin dear miss manners on every occasion that my husband and i have taken our daughter and her family out to dinner they always swarm around my husband at leave taking to thank him for an enjoyable time. I am left on the sidelines with a goodbye Peck on the Eyebrow or ear. All the arrangements Are made by me. I keep Din Ner conversations flowing and work to see All guests Are comfortable. My husband gets All the thanks be cause he pays the Check. In other circles one gave a hostess thanks some times generously sending a bouquet or note. Gentle readers that s what miss manners gets for modernizing. She had Long since conceded that it was time to change the old habit of thanking Only the hostess on the grounds that the lady alone presi ded Over the couple s social life. But she Only meant that one could now thank both. Skipping to the Bottom line and thanking Only the person who shells out the Money is an idea that a palls her. Why Don t you ask your husband never mind miss manners will ask your husband to make the Point since it is More Graceful to share credit than request it. Your Mother is the one who should be thanked he should reply. She planned it  dear miss manners How do you politely let the Persoff next to you know that because they Are leaning Forward you cannot see the other people at the table this has been a problem in class As Welt i can t see the professor because when my classmate leans Forward she obscures my View of the blackboard and the teacher i be tried lightly touching her Arm and when she looks at me i apologetically say i m sorry but i can t see the teacher or when you lean Forward i can t see the other people at the  sometimes it works but usually that person for gets and begins to lean Forward again totally cutting me off from the others. Gentle Reader you re doing Fine just keep it up. As miss manners is sure your teacher could Tell you it can take several lessons before even an obvious fact begins to sink in. The second time you remind the leaner Forward Stevens Usa in going with the flow you need not repeat your apologetic statement so Long As you repeat the apologetic look. If she seems puzzled you merely make the timid motion of mov ing your hand Palm Down in the direction you expect her to move. If it is necessary to do this a third time or More you should apologize after class and offer to change places with her in the future so that she need not be inconvenienced by your problem. Pear miss manners when exiting a Public bus from a door in the Middle of the bus with  ple approaching it from both sides is it necessary for a gentleman to wait for any ladies coming from the other direction before he exits the bus thereby hold ing up the lady behind him gentle Reader miss manners was so overcome with appreciation of your Devotion to etiquette that she found herself three stops beyond where she had planned to get off by the time she discovered your mistake. Others who had hoped to get off might treat you less graciously. In moving objects such As elevators and buses people who need to get off should get off in an or Derly fashion before the doors close and the thing takes off. It is not exactly like getting on when one can step Back and let someone else Board first. But even if this were possible and even when Gen Der was the major Factor it used to be we now Are supposed to consider age and apparent Needa gentlemen preceded a lady in getting off a bus. That s right. Ladies first on gentlemen first off. So the ladies could land on the Nice soft gentlemen rather than the sidewalk if they tripped. Dear miss manners it never ceases to amaze me How some of my friends and co workers will continue talking to me or each other after having re treated to our respective personal areas of the la Dies room. Am i incorrect to assume that conversation taking place Over the stalls crosses the Kne of etiquette gentle Reader miss manners is As much in favor of delicacy As you Are. There Are some things one is supposed to notice and some things one is just not supposed to notice. But which things you take the position that one should notice that ladies have other things than talking to do in the la Dies room and that one should not trouble them while these activities Are going on. Miss manners takes the position that one should not even notice those activities. However As she approves of noticing that the per son one has been talking to has disappeared it comes to the same thing. One should suspend talk ing to someone who has in effect walked off and left /. I -. /. United feature Syndicate feeling incorrect address your etiquette questions in Black or Blue Black Ink on White writing paper to miss manners . Box 91428. Cleveland. Ohio 44101-3428. The Quill shortage prevents miss Man Nerstrom answering questions except through this column. Harris Usa searching for peace Orrt not More civil War Erma Bombeck television owes me big  am one of those viewers with no taste and a High tolerance for pain who have watched four months of reruns. I sat through a repeat of ant condos of these re Geti a rerun of Liza Sammy and Frank in con Cert As though this time Frank will remember the words. I even suffered again through the Teal Story of what happened to Adolf  for All i care he and Elvis Amelia Earhart and Jimmy Hoffa Are in the Bermuda Triangle looking for the mates to their socks v ,.j. I watched the Guy who got bitten by a Snake on 91i\or the second time and a rerun of the discovery of the Tomb of tutankhamen. I am giving you network programmers warning i am ready to move on with my life. Every fall you Promise met beyond my wildest  me Tell you what i do not want to see on my screen this season if i never see another half hour of a single Mother with a smart Mouth raising three kids who Are going to end up making License plates it la be too soon forme. No More rehashes of headlines. I read the Story once sometimes for four or five months daily. I do not want to see a re enactment of the Menendez Brothers Tonya and Nancy or the Bobbitt. Bill Cosby opened the door again on family sit coms. There s a plethora of them All with a funny neighbor and a dog. I like the dogs on the shows bet Ter than the people. If you just got to America from another country and turned on the to set you would swear that the Only jobs that will keep you awake Are those of a policeman doctor or lawyer. I la bet a convenience store clerk has More excitement in one afternoon than All of them have in a week. I d like to see other professions depicted. Declare a moratorium on the civil War for about 50 years. The dramas arc All beginning to look alike and face it you Don t have a Surprise ending anymore. Word has gotten around. Universal press Syndicate no kidding american institution american bandstand 1 records played 65,000 2. Teens danced 600,000 3. Musical guests 10,000 4. Years on Abc nationally 30 5. Original name bandstand 6. First record Dick Clark played whole Lotta Shakin. 7. Lowest rated song by kids Chipmunk song animal oddities 1. Vampire Bat walks As fast As flies 2. Nile Catfish swims upside Down 3. Snail can sleep up to four years 4. Female Gypsy Moth does not Fly 5. Male Lizard turns Black when scared 6. Fish can get seasick world features Syndicate Page 10 sunday september 11, 1994