European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 18, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse On verdicts criminalist further William Safire on language Matching Abc s live coverage of the . Simpson pretrial proceedings i was startled to hear one witness identify himself As having worked for 16 years As a criminalist in the City of los asked myself when is Tom Brokaw with the vast research facilities at his disposal going to Tell us How to differentiate among a criminal a criminalist and a criminologist the phone rang. It was Tom Brokaw. You re the word maven. What s a criminalist no word is an Island John Donne wrote in 1631 that i have read in some of the criminalist. " at that time the word meant one versed in Crimi Nal but by 1857, criminologist had crept upon the scene. when i put the question when did criminologist return to the old criminalist to David Gascon commanding officer of land Community information he replied they Are two separate terms. Criminologist is somebody who studies the sociology of crime a criminalist on the other hand is a technician or evidence belatedly a Reader noted a mistake in the description of evidence in the Simpson Case. One of the items found at the homicide scene was a knit Cap declared Deputy District attorney Marcia Clark in writing. Inside the Cap Black curly hairs were detected which have been determined to be of african american Jonathan Balsam of Lawrence n.y., sent that in. Quite startling he wrote that forensic science has advanced to the Point where analysis of a suspect s hair can determine not Only his race but also his that s an example of substituting afr can Amer can for Black without thinking. An afr can Ameri can is a citizen of the United states who is a member of the Black formerly negro race. Not every Black everywhere is an african american and no hair any where is african american As every criminalist knows " ,. 7 Pencil pushing Tom Brokaw reports a new sense of the verb to Pencil As in ill have my banker Pencil the new meaning differs from the traditional verb s to draw or Mark with a Pencil and should not be confused with to Pencil in to schedule tentatively As in ill Pencil you in for a meeting with the Secretary but Well see if he can t do it has nothing to do with the meaning of Pencil As Metonymy in Media Slang a member of the writing press As in a press today s movies Are blown out of proportion Tony Kornheiser Over the summer i saw a Bunch of new movies. I was riveted to my , riveted. A giant hand with Jackhammer came out of the screen an riveted my Tucheus to the seat. Something terrible has happened to movies. Be sides Pauly Shore they have been totally overcome by virtual reality special effects to the Point that special effects seem to be the Only thing that movies Are about. They Don t have plots anymore. They Are just explosion operettas. This is the entire so called plot of Speed a mad terrorist bomber wires up a moving City bus so that it will detonate and explode the instant its Speed is reduced to less than 50 Miles an hour. That s it. Two hours of motion sickness. Sure it is moronic but think about the special effects. Ever see a bus pop a wheelie i actually heard a Hollywood screenwriter refer to this plot As High if this is High concept Tony Danza is sir . I am going to Call my agent right now and get him to pitch a new movie to Hollywood. Here is the plot a diabolical 9-year-old computer Hacker victimized by abusive parents with huge pulsing gaiters creates a oomph tar virus that causes All the air planes in the work to disobey the instructions of their pilots and Keanu Reeves in the explosive Speed. 20th Century Fox head at full Speed toward an inevitable 6,000-Planc midair collision Over an orphanage in Salt Lake City and the Only one who can Avert this disaster is a dog who can Fly. Just Send me the Cash in a Steamer trunk. Thank you. Computer simulation has made anything possible therefore making nothing truly remarkable. Except perhaps Michael marrying Lisa Marie. In Forrest Gump i was awed by Tom Hanks play ing pingpong with two racquets and two balls simultaneously i figured he must have spent a solid six months practising for that. And i was doubly awed by the performance of the legless actor who played Hanks commanding officer in Vietnam. Imagine my Surprise when i Learned that both things were done by computer simulation. Hanks was t playing Ping Pong at All for All we know he is actually making a grilled cheese Sandwich and the other actor Gary Sinise has legs the computer just painted them away. stupid is As stupid sees. This onslaught of virtual reality has cheapened actual reality. If you can show fighter jets hovering Over Collins Avenue in True lies or Tom Hanks shaking hands and chatting with John Kennedy Why would anybody go to a movie where in the critical scene a woman factory worker stands up on a table and holds up a sign that says Union if they made ?7.-j Ric now she d me above the room with a Secretary s order cameras up front then not big feet then pencils in the new jargon verb Pencil without in Means to work out the details or "examine1 closely quite Dif Ferent from the tentative Ness of to Pencil in. I m speculating but it is presumably rooted in the old phrase to take a Sharp Pencil to it that is to Cross out extraneous expenditures in a budget. It s Good to see this word for an ergonomic hand held word processor gaining new popularity. As Pence it was used by Chaucer in the Canterbury tales and derived from the latin Puni Cilnis Paintbrush a diminutive of pern s in its sense of Little a Bridge too fur the aim of nato s future expansion the Clin ton administration s National Security Council staff writes in its strategy statement will not be to draw a new line in Europe further cast but to expand stability democracy Etc. Quoting this line in a recent polemic i put a sic the latin word for so thus to mean error in the original after further. That s because the word for distance is farther and the word for degree or expressing a sense of beyond is further. Furthermore Only say furthermore in the situation Roo you can use further to mean either degree or metaphoric distance but you should use farther Only for physical distance. But a language maven has to be careful with his bracketed theses because he cannot then let any thing go by. A colleague circled will not be to draw a new line and swung the nor behind the l to to read will be not to draw a new line. But to the nitpickers league has a new member. Noyo Rhimes Jet pack and then get everyone s attention by taking out a sewing machine with a Flamethrower. Or take Hamlet. Nobody s going to sit still for some melancholy introspective Putz working out his angst alone. Now when Hamlet recites his to be or not to be Soliloquy a computer can take him out of cold Damp Denmark and have him talk directly to. Harry Truman Well Why the hell not think what computer simulation could do for Casablanca. No when the prefect announces the police should round up the usual suspects you won t have to wonder what they look like. In the very next Frame you la see in Handcuffs Genghis Khan Al Capone Lee Harvey Oswald the Penguin and Roger Altman. Nobody who has taken a spin on the information superhighway is going to care about cat on a Hupf tin roof the Way Tennessee Williams wrote it. It s slow and it s tortured worse the House does t get obliterated by a shoulder launched guided missile. But if Maggie the cat were actually a cat a Panther or a Leopard and she actually put her paws on the hot tin roof and you saw the steam Rise and you heard her shriek and then she turned vicious and ate her sister in Law s Little no necked monster Chil Dren _ just ripped their squat Heads off and chewed them Down to the Bone now that would be some thing to see. And Why Stop there instead of big daddy Why not make it Joseph Kennedy hey in my movie for which i am expecting royalties any , there la be computer Simula Tion All Over the place. For example the flying dog will actually be played by a Pigeon you have to go for the big slam bang ending. No body buys it anymore when a main character Dies of natural causes. What fun is that if they remade terms of endearment dub in Winger s character would t die of cancer. She d explode. Anyway this whole computer simulation trend Sig nals the death Knell for the Noble Field of animation. It is just a matter of time. Why would anyone make Dumbo Nosy when you can make a real elephant Fly then you could crash it into a runaway bus. Don t laugh. Computer simulation is everywhere. This column is simulated. 1 did t actually write it. I m in the Hague talking to Woodrow Wilson. Cute bar 18, 1rjq4 sunday Page 23
