European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - April 24, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Thursday april 24, 1986 the stars and stripes Page 11 dear Ann Landers although my envelope will show that i live in new Haven this is not a put on by a Yale student. Need help. I m a 32-year-old Mother of four teen agers. They Are just \ alike your average Vav american teen. They walk around with music plugged into their Heads or the stereos blasting away. They talk on the phone endlessly lend their clothes to friends stay up until All hours and have to be pulled out of bed in the morning to get to school onetime. My problem lately i have been talking to myself a lot. I mean talking out loud. I Tell myself to Calm Down take it easy and Trust the lord. I also Tell myself things i must remember to do like go to the clean ers get More milk replace the broken faucet handle. Yesterday my 13-year-old heard me say and Don t forget to put Gas in the station Wagon and we need  he asked whom i was talking to. 1 sheepishly replied  he looked concerned and said a you Are losing your mind. That s the first  Tell me if this is True. Worried in new a endear new Haven i Hope not. I do it All the time. And so do a lot of other people. Talking aloud to one s self helps a person remember things and it releases tension As Well. I recommend it. Dear Ann Landers a letter in your column moved me to write and get this off my Chest. Lee wrote about a woman at work who said hello to him Many times during the Day. I too was irritated by a Man who. Did the same thing. His name was Joe and it seemed to me that he did very Little All Day but walk around and say hello to people. No matter How Many times he saw you during the Day Joe would say hello As if it were the first time. He was a harmless quiet Little Man but he could really get on a person s nerves one Day a co worker called me to comeback to the lab because Joe was sick. I was a paramedic for a time Joe had a history of coronary problems and i could Tell he was in serious trouble. I held his hand an tried to make him As comfortable As Possi ble. The ambulance came to take him to the Hospital. He died in route. I can t forget How critical we were of that Sweet Little Man and i feel ashamed. He was t really All that bad. I Learned at the funeral that he and his wife had escaped from a nazi prison Camp during the War. Too late sometimes we find reasons to be generous. I m a lot less impatient and Crit ical than i used to be. Joe has made me Kinder person. Thanks for printing that letter Ann. I certainly brought me face to face with Myr self and i am grateful. Constant read Erin Quincy ill. Dear Quincy so Many of us Are Quick to judge before we know the facts. It is obvious now that Joe was so thrilled to be part of a free society that his enthusiasm was expressed in repeated greetings learning about Joe taught you to be less judgmental and More insightful. Your admission is evidence that you have grown. Thanks for sharing. Readers wishing to write of news America Syndi Cate columnist Landers May address their letters in care of the stars and stripes Apo 09211, . Forces All letters to the editor must contain the full printed name and address of the write Rand must be signed. We do not read unsigned letters but we will withhold you name on request and protect your privacy. All letters Are subject to editing. Malicious rumours create sour memories writer says i have been living in a Small Community for a Little less than a year and there is a specific problem that involves everybody incur Community that needs attention. I am hoping the stars and stripes will help out by publishing this letter because i am sure this problem is not Only evident in my Community but Many others As Well. This problem is the spreading of  is an ageless problem i know but i am hoping the reduction of this problem can be accomplished. To the aggressor the individual starting or spreading rumours maybe it is fun to talk about others or maybe these people Are just so bored that they have nothing else to do. But to the individual whom the rumours Are being spread about it is not fun. It causes heartaches and marital problems As Well. Being a Young dependent a wife not tooling out of High school it is hard enough trying to get used to the military Way of life getting used to Germany and the Many changes that accompany one s first German tour and being so far away from family and friends to have others who Are supposedly on your Side talk laugh or make jokes about you. Malicious spreading of rumours must be halted. We must pull together and help one another because let s face it our Peers Arete Only family most of us have Here. Our aim should be to help one another not Tosee How badly we can Hurt one another. The thing that really sends my mind Fly ing is that Many times the people who Are doing the spreading of rumours Don t know their victim. How can you say something that you know would Hurt the person when you Don t even know his her name if you have an opinion about someone or suspect something about a person but have no facts please keep it to yourself it s no that hard. If you feel you have to Tell some one write Home and Tell mom about it. A least your Many times innocent victim does t get Hurt. Put yourself in his her place. After All it s not the person who s starting or spread ing rumours who gets Hurt in the end it the victim. Nobody deserves this treatment and there in t anybody who has the right to pass judgment on others. It is downright unfair do these people feel they Are so self righteous that they feel they Are next to writer comments on child abuse i have been Reading with some interest Many articles in the stars and stripes Deal ing with child abuse. But what i would like to know is this who takes notice of the Many incidents of child abuse that take place publicly each and every Day within our military communities to observe these incidents let me invite you Over to the Exchange commissary laundromat or american express Bank. Today let s go Over to the laundromat. Here is our scenario a two to five year old child playing with some soap boxes on the floor. His Mother and or father notice the child playing and come Over and scold him. Behave yourself they la say or now come Over Here and just sit  if the child does not obey he receives spanking. I am sick and tired and have had it with parents mentally abusing their Chil Dren in Public by issuing orders at their inexplicable whim for children to be  in most cases i have witnessed parents bantering their children. I have seen them humiliating their children for being Chil Dren. In most of these cases the children were not misbehaving nor was there an potential danger to the children. One has to realize especially that Achild s playing is actually a process of discovery. Notice that Many parents co and cuddle their Newborn babies but when the babies grow up into thinking beings the parents lose interest it reminds me in parallel to Ibsen s doll House. In this play the husband los interest when his wife became an inde pendent thinking being. The biggest problem with child abuses this parents who Are mentally Imma Ture and thus unprepared to have children have children. They thus proceed to go through the process of raising them by nothing but fiendish cliches issued to their children. What children need from their Parent Sis guidance to help them live on Earth. Instead Many Are confronted with a rear ing that is based on the premises Don t do this Don t do that and spare the Roland spoil the  which is just an excuse for any sadist to get away with beating his her children or any idiot who does t want to expend the mental Energy needed to handle the situation it is no wonder that Many children be come frightened helpless beings Apt to lash out at society through the ignorance and malice they inherited from their parents. What is needed is to. Leave children to their own devices and to help them by encouraging them to learn. Teach them by example the difference Between right and wrong. Teach them to be proud of themselves and Don t humiliate them maliciously. Thus a child will become educated Independent and Strong willed. Let s concentrate too on Public child abuse. There is More to child abuse than does t meet the Eye. Robert Larente Jones Weinsberg Germany god do they feel As if they can t or Don t make mistakes come on people we Are All human beings. Most of us Are under quite abit of pressure but to take it out upon someone you Don t even know is not Only ridiculous but absurd 1 know the problem is an age old one had heard about it even before we moved Here. But i feel it has gone on Long enough and now is the time to solve the problem. Maybe i As an individual am different from others but when someone tells me something about somebody else i ignore stand try to change the subject. I would rather talk about who s going to win the next season s super bowl i feel it is that person s own business and should t be anyone else s not to mention the whole Post s. People just need to Lear when to keep a lid on the things they hear. The Rumor problem cannot be solved sin Gle hand edly and maybe this problem never will be solved but if everybody puts Forth some Effort it can at least be reduced. Let s face it rumours Are a fact of life we will never get rid of altogether it s everywhere but a Small military Community is not the place for it. Everybody has problems and i Don know of anybody who could use More prob lems than she he has. So if we All stick together and try to help one another and concentrate on our own problems everybody s european tour will be happier there fore causing Happy memories not sour ones. Name and location withheld the St is and of types $ us a Elton John fan did t feel cheated i was extremely disappointed with the recent article about the Elton John concert. I saw Elton in Berlin on april 1. I enjoyed the concert immensely and so did Sev eral other people i know who also attended pen pals we would like to correspond with others from All Over the world. Alfonso c. Garagarza jr., 28 Eduardo Fernandez 30 Eddie de la Cruz 27 ministry of defense & aviation Royal saudi air Force King Khalid air base . Box 1292 Khamis aau Shayt kingdom of saudi Arabia i would like to correspond with people from All Over the world who Are Between 18-25.1 am an 18-year-old German girl. My hobbles Are music swimming and discos. Carmen Lopez Greenho la 3045 by Spungen West Germany the concert. Elton John is known for his fantastic piano playing and i thought Start ing the concert slow and bringing it to Crescendo was excellent yes it is True that his attire was a Little bit unexpected but you must also realize that this is not the 70s. It is the 80s and Elton is changing with the times. His ice on fire album is quite enough evidence within itself i did not feel Gyp Ped or cheated in the least however i do feel that the people waiting for the concerts mentioned in your article Are being Gyp Ped. Your somewhat biased opinion May and probably will cause these people to lose some anticipation forthe concert they have also been waiting months for luckily in my Case your article was Toolate and Elton John indeed set the ice on fire Ann Mcdonald Berlin european edition capt Dale k. Patterson us editor in chief cmdr Jeffrey s. Zakem us Deputy editor in chief . Blackwell m. Proctor . Mcdermott production manager managing de. Circulation manager this newspaper is an authorized unofficial publication for members of the military services overseas. Contents of the stars and stripes Are not necessarily the official views of or endorsed by the . Government the department of defense or the . European command. The appearance of advertising in this publication including inserts or supplements does not constitute endorsement by the department of defense or the stars and stripes of the products or services advertised. 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