European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - August 4, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse Joe Bob goes to the drive in Arnold Battles to make Winner of terminator too James Cameron the Genius who made the terminator and terminator 2, figured out the whole secret to the 1980s and �?T90s, the ultimate fantasy for americans. It can be summed up like this a i have to blow you away now because i feel strongly that its in both our Best you see the Beauty Here what happens in both movies a bodybuilder Guy drops Buck Nek kid out of the sky sent from the future to waste our Savior. So we have to kill the terminator before he kills John Connor the Man who will save the world from nuclear destruction in 1997. In part 1 he a trying to kill Linda Hamilton but Only because she a about to give birth to John Connor what kind of Story does this set up a Story where no matter what you do no matter who you step on and no matter How Many people you kill you can never be wrong. Because if you done to do what you have to do the world will end. Because there a one person More important than the terminator and that a the person trying to kill the terminator. This covers All situations. Divorce sorry babe gotta save the world. Slow service at Denny a you re delaying my Mission so i think ill grab you by the Throat turn you upside Down and grind your Skull into a potato Mexicana plate. Of you need to see my id Here a its in the form of 200 Shotgun pellets in your stomach. Its the ultimate Way to say a your existence. Does no to fit in with my career goals right now so please act like you never the terminator is like Donald Trump. You done to really like him but you know exactly what hell do at All times. He has a goal. He mows Down anybody Between him and that goal. And hell repeat that pattern until something drastic happens like getting shot through the head with a cruise missile and dumped into a vat of molten steel. After that he might Stop. With terminator 2, Jimbo Cameron figured out How to live out the terminator fantasy and the anti terminator fantasy. You get to kill the terminator and be the terminator at the same time. Its great. Ultra super Mega violence in order to create world peace. My Kinda flick Arnold the barbarian the old terminator sent to terminate the new terminator looks like his old self the National guard armory with legs that tried to kill Linda Hamilton in the first Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. For those people who keep asking me the question a How did Arnold come alive again for this movie a the answer is that the terminator is a machine and so in the future they can build As Many of Mem As to. Got it Arnold is a different Arnold but he looks the same because he a a machine. In a surprised 1 have to explain this stuff to you Guys Only this time Arnold is sent to protect the son of Linda Hamilton. There have been Only two sequels in the history of the world that arc better than the original. The first one was the evil dead ii. Which might be the greatest Zombie flick Eyck made. Terminator 2 judgment Day is the it Jutt a one. Nineteen thousand explosions helicopter crashes and motor vehicle chases later we get the final showdown of the old american style terminator with the new Japan Csc Stylc High tech terminator. I done to Wanna give it away but id just like to say that once about every 10 years somebody comes up with a new special effect that you be never seen before this is the one for the �?T90s. Twenty dead bodies. Three motor vehicle Chascs with motorcycle jumping exploding Mack truck exploding copter seven car crashes. Multiple biker gang bashing. Hand to hand terminator combat. Steel girder through the head. Shrink strangling. Mall shootout. Geek face Licking. Knee blasting. Pay phone bashing. Back sewing. Kung fun. Nuclear fun. Broomstick fun. Tear Gas fun. Liquid nitrogen fun. Drive in Academy award nominations for Arnold the barbarian for saying a a it a in your nature to destroy yourselves and �?o1 have detailed files Quot and a Shasta la Vista baby and �?o1 need a vacation and �?o1 know now Why you cry but its something i can never do Edward Furlong for saying a Cool a my own terminator and Quot you just can to go around killing people and when he finds a Cave. Full of hundreds of in terminator 2. Weapons a one thing about my mom a she always plans ahead Joe Morton As the computer nerd scientist for saying a a it a not every Day you find out you re responsible for 3 million deaths Robert Patrick As the t-1000 terminator that looks like a postmodern sculpture with tentacles for jumping through a plate Glass window into a moving helicopter and James Cameron the director and co writer the Only Man alive who can say a i spent $94 million on this movie and every cent of it is up on the four stars. A a Joe Bob says Check it out As Many times As you release of the week badge of the Assassin 1985. This is one of the Only made for to movies deserving of a video release. James Woods stars in the True Story of a new York assistant District attorney Robert k. Tanenbaum who spent years crisscross Joe Bob Briggs creator Syndicate sing the country until he had enough evidence to convict three cop killers who were members of a Black revolutionary army. Yaphet kotto is his cop sidekick. The Bronx based revolutionaries include Pam Grier and Rac Dawn Chong. The great thing about this movie is that Woods is the Good Guy and he still comes across As a serial killer. Four stars. A Joe Bob s advice to the hopeless Republican Alert the North drive in on old Highway 41 in Terre haute ind., has a Quot for Sale sign on it after sitting empty for a year. This is the third one in Terre haute in a decade. Joel us that without eternal vigilance it can happen Here. Dear Joe Bob will you Ever run for governor of Texas what would your platform be if yes and Why not if no a stay Black. Britt Daniel Austin Texas dear Britt. Yep. My platform would be a a let a give ourselves Back to they re the Only people who like us. Most of the time. Dear Joe Bob thanks for responding to my letter about blood Freak. No in a not thinking of blood fiend with Chris Lee and yes this movie exists. How Many just say no holy roller mutant Vampire Turkey monster movies arc there with or without Christopher Lee it was reviewed in psychotropic video 15 the one with the Macumba love Cove which is where i first heard of it. Intrigued i topped Down to the local sound warehouse where i was Able to rent said classic for 99 cents. Worth nearly every Penny the video rental Box shows a Beautiful a changed woman with her Baz Ooms falling out the front of her Negligee and sports the tag line a a Dracula on drugs Quot it was made in the Early �?T70s, and Large chunks Are a narrated a it la the creeping terror by a Sleazy looking Chain smoker who coughs a lot. The wild and crazy drug party consists of Middle aged friends of the producer sitting around a sniffing Quot Vicks sinus Spray and holding filter cigarettes strangely. And no i did no to play the Turkey monster 1 was probably 12 years old the year this thing was Len cd and in a not mentioning this thing for the publicity. However i do write horror novels for a living. Did i Send you a copy of my first Book sunglasses a after dark your vigilant Reader Nancy a. Collins new Orleans dear Nancy i m glad we be cleared up that blood fiend info for All eternity. And no i did not receive a copy of sunglasses after dark. I assume its about the immortal Hunter s. Thompson no it the mail and his world famous we Are the weird newsletter write to . Box 2002, Dallas to 75221, or lax Joe Bob Ai 21 -1 368 2310. August 4, 1991 sunday a Page
