European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 17, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse Be our guest military a routine phrases March to double time beat Paul Carlson guest columnist in the military we All know that the Job we perform and the routines we go through Are important. And funny. Take the Way we speak. Military conversation can be Clever. It can be used to communicate As Well As confuse. For All we know it might be sparked Abbott and costello a who son first routine. Imagine what civilians not associated with the military must think when they overhear military conversations. For example if a Soldier says a my Opp suit does no to fit right a we know he stalking about his Mission oriented protective posture suit which is used for Protection against chemical warfare. Civilians might think the army has a strict uniform policy for cleaning floors. If someone orders a dress right dress Quot civil ians might think that would be a redundant phrase like a run spot besides who arc they to Tell me i have to dress right a dress and cover is one civilians could construe As a a rent to you covering yourself while you dress a if someone says a i have quarters this week a someone could easily say a Good for you Bud i have dollars. Wanna borrow one a civilians probably think it meant you were assigned to your Barracks room or Home because you were sick. A stand fast sounds like something that requires a degree of skill and balance As opposed to a stand one of my personal favourites a was you As i were what another one is a wok men Blouse your that a going to look kind of silly Isnit it besides the boots wont fit through the sleeves. This weekend we re going to have a i party in the Barracks. Of Good ill bring the music. Can i bring friends i want them to meet people. Or How about Quot this week i am going to the Here a what might come to mind someone standing in a peaceful open Field of Amber coloured waiving Grain while he s waiting for the Harvest to come in. A Man we were so ate up in the Field last week that we could hardly ate up boy to think that someone could function at All after being eaten up is a Miracle. Quot you people better Check your military what they Only Issue one i be heard of cutbacks before but Isnit that a Little Steep Quot you can fill your canteens up at the water lbs Carol Burnett has a new show. Page 7. Ovum s from the cover.4-6 getting travelling Down to the letter. Andy rooney.7 the system needs checking. Books and language 8-9 the Best yet on Winston Churchill. Odds amp ends.10 Erma Bombeck missed crucial news. To plus. If controversial a a Juk Quot closing in on the screen. Television listings________12-14 local Cable and satellite schedules. On the Bill Cosby shooting for new show. Home entertainment .16 Quot what about Bob a about bad comedy. Joe Bob briggs.17 the Odds of having fun at vegas tables. This weeks films .18-19 Chuck Vinch Quot curly sue Quot bombs. Complete cafes circuit listings. Classified ads .20-23 last laugh .24 Dave Barry and the Guys go Junpu w wont that bother the wild animal i Hope he does no to attack us. A a you re not authorized to Wear your Mickey mouse i should say not. That a for the Little kids who Are Mousek Teers. Besides a big Tough Soldier like yourself have to Wear shoes with a face and ears painted on them. A we went to the Field and had to dig our done to foxes usually dig their own holes a she had her dog tags in her Man she must be pretty close to her pet to Cany those things around All Day. Then there Are the Odd things we re involved with. For instance Why do they give us pistol belts when most of us Cany around a Rifle the vehicles we use Are also called by weird names. Its not a 2w-ton truck. Its refined to As a Deuce and a half. If someone is said to have a lot of rank on his Collar one might wonder if that person needs to update his personal Hygiene standards. If you catch civilians questioning these sayings you might want to let them in on your secret. That Way your conversation can go double time without coming to a halt. Sony about that. Pic. Paul Carlson works for the 59th ordnance brigade Public affairs office in Palm Sens Germany. Send in your column plus a photo of yourself to be our guest sunday Magazine the stars and stripes Apo 09211 or Postrach 11 14 37, d-6100 Darmstadt 11, Germany. Bros Alisa n Porter James Belushi in Curty sue which draws Boos from Chuck Vinch. Page 19.sunday is a weekly supplement of the stars and stripes. Editor Bucky Fox Art direction Sharon Kilday Tarrant production Kelly Quinn editorial assistance Marian Hamilton Louis Pierce Page 2 a sunday november 17. 1991
