European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 17, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                To of Quot.  a Quot or Bact ftv1 Quot a ,f5.r.�?~ -t-U.S. New makers time their moves at awkward Pace Erma Bombeck it never fails. I sit around the House All summer Long and the biggest thing that happens is Marla and Donald fight Over custody of the engagement ring i leave the country for three weeks and there is an explosion of news that rivals the volcanic eruption of krakatau in 1883. While i am off in Central America in mud up to my Reebok High tops people at Home Are riveted to the Thomas Hill hearing a Washington a answer to Santa Barbara aptly named judge. Wapner and his friends. As i am straining for a glimpse of a Toucan Liz Taylor stages a wedding. Not that i was invited but it would have been Nice to have seen All the coverage. I read that Barry Manilow did t go either but he sent a toaster. Call me crazy but after eight weddings  you assume she already had one trudging through rain forests i am oblivious to the front Page Story about an artist who postponed opening a mile Long line of umbrellas As scheduled a because of rain. His explanation was a i do not feel any pleasure in opening my umbrellas in this miserable weather. Besides the umbrellas Are not  what umbrellas Are Crayola chose to wait until i was out of the country to bring Back the eight traditional colors that mothers love so Well. It seems that moms rebelled against the new age hues of dandelion and vivid Tangerine. Boy i wish i had been there to see that. Native americans chose to have an uprising in my absence Over the a Tomahawk chop Quot at the Atlanta braves games. I guess ill see it All when Kevin Costner comes out with the movie dancing with Jane and Ted what really made me sick was that a Ciman Marcus store opened in my town without me. Heads in marketing will Roll Over that Faux Pas. Every time i leave the country i feel As though i be abandoned it and that if i had stayed Home maybe i could have altered history. We did no to make news but one night on a Patch of Beach in a Remote spot in Tortuga Zero Costa Rica four of us were stumbling around in the darkness to observe endangered Green sea turtles laying eggs when we encountered poachers. They not Only sell the turtles but they also steal the eggs for aphrodisiacs. We challenged the poachers by surrounding the Turtle and acting As sentries before escorting her Back to the safety of the sea where she belonged. On second thought the life of one Turtle is Worth More than a Good fiscal Start for Neiman Marcus. Una Weisal Prass Syndicate Judith Martin dear miss manners a flier was placed in my Mailbox last week which reads a Julie and Dean invite you to a housewarming. Bring a covered dish and a Lawn chair. Cash donations  it then lists their address and phone number and the Date of the get together. I have never seen these people. I saw a moving Van at the House one Day when i drove by. I have never heard of people giving themselves a party inviting strangers to come and then asking for a Cash donation. Someone told me the latest thing is to have a birthday party and ask the guests to bring food. The hostess provides the cake and ice Cream and the guests bring the rest of the food. This is happening at children a parties. Am i wrong to find this offensive gentle Reader social fund raising is an increasing practice. Bridal and anniversary couples urge everyone they know to give them pre chosen luxuries. Birthdays and Christmas Are considered opportunities for writing out your own shopping list and then expecting other people to do the shopping. Hosts Are As you have noticed requesting their guests to Supply the hospitality. A so while miss manners is shocked she is not surprised that some enterprising people should wonder Why this extortion should be limited to their friends and begin to extend it to strangers. That there Are vulgar greedy people in the world miss manners has always known. What puzzles her is How there can be so Many dupes who go along with these practices. Of course you will not dignify this Appeal with an answer. But if you were to slither around on the Day of the event miss manners is eager to know whether anyone actually shows up. Dear miss manners is there Ever a polite and tactful Way to refuse unwanted gifts a Well meaning Friend gave my son a pet for his second birthday my son shows no interest in the pet and i have neither the time nor the Money to care for the animal properly. But How could i have rejected the gift without hurting the feelings of a valued Friend giving the pet away is not an option As this Friend is a frequent visitor in our Home besides i know of no one else who would want this pet. I also have a relative who repeatedly sends me provocative clothing knowing i dress quite conservatively. It pains me to let so Many things go to waste when Many others would use and enjoy these gifts. Yet trying to let an interval of time pass by and then giving the items away does not work As this relative repeatedly asks if i am using and enjoying her gifts. Gentle Reader miss manners does not normally allow letting the givers of presents know that their efforts have failed. It is too easy to thank the giver and then Rush to Exchange or donate the offensive item. But to prevent polite people from having to live with the results of other Peoples taste we have a strict Rule against the givers inquiring afterwards about the use of the present. In your Case supposed benefactors have ignored not Only this Rule but the primary one of giving a that one tries to please the recipient. And what a More etiquette which does no to normally trouble itself with spelling out such details has a specific Rule against giving live creatures a plants or animals a As presents without the genuine consent not Only of the receiver but also of the adults in charge of the household. You Are not condemned to live with either the pet or with a drawer full of lingerie you  want the neighbors to see if the House were ransacked. Dispose of them both a the animal to whatever humane organization will provide for its welfare and the lingerie to any organization that collects clothing or failing that the dust rag bag. If the person who had the ill judgment to give a pet to a 2-year-old also has the ill judgment to ask where it is you May say a we simply  take care of a pet a and your racy relative May be told if asked that you have the satisfaction of knowing that if you Ever decide to go in for suggestive clothing you will be Well supplied. Nud pm turn syndic in it a s i i s Scorpio oct. 23-nov. 21 insecurities May make you jealous and possessive. You Are More powerful than you think. Sagittarius nov. 22-dec. 20 you Are overburdened with thoughts of work. Spend time alone to regroup. Capricorn dec. 21-Jan. 19 Faith is High in causes you believe in. Time to input ideas and help out organizations you belong to. Aquarius Jan. 20-feb. 18 watch your behaviour in Public because people will notice you More than usual. Now is a Good time to make sales. Pisces feb. 19-March 20 a meeting with a foreigner will spark your desire to travel to other countries. Consider planning a trip. Aries March 21-april 19 Energy level is High. Ran to accomplish a lot at work. Burn off that extra Energy with exercise. Taurus april 20-May 20 participate in competitive sports. You have the winning Edge. Romance also is in your favor. Gemini May 21-june 20 disorder causes changes in your work routine. Control your emotions or you wont be Able to make smart decisions. Cancer june 21-july 22 romantic involvement becomes More intense. A Short trip and sparkling conversation can be fun for both of you. Leo july 23-aug. 22 think of ideas for renovating or redecorating your Home space. Small projects will make a big difference. Virgo aug. 23-sept. 22 since you re always taking time out for other people relax and take time for yourself. Libra sept. 23-oct. 22 you re More sensitive than usual. Try not to take things too personally. Listen to your intuition. Page 10 a sunday november 17, 1991