European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - May 24, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse Voids Jin the Good Days when shows led to talk not Hawk Joe Bob Briggs goes to the drive in now that Johnny Carson is retiring to gods Green room or Malibu or vegas or wherever talk show hosts vanish to a a cause lets face it its not what you would Call a permanent Art form a id like to Point out something. The reason they re called talk shows is that people used to talk on Mem. I Haven to seen one in years now where people talked. I mean really talked. I mean like you say something and then i say something and then that reminds you of something else and then we re so focused in on each other that we just Kinda spin out of control and Start free associating and you know talking. The kind of talking that once you get through you go a wow we this never happens. The Guy comes on and it does no to matter whether its Leno or Arsenio or Letterman or Dennis Miller a eventually the real reason is revealed for the Guy being there a so lets talk about your a i understand you be written a a a in a told that you re very Active in animal a someone said you be opened your own Art gallery is that right a and the reason the Host was a a told or made to a a understand these things is that the producer of the show a a told him five minutes before a wok we re promoting a Book or a wok the Only Way we were Able to get Brooke Shields is we agreed to play this clip from a lame to or if the guest is a comedian or a comic actor or a comic writer it will go like this a i heard that you Guys had to work with live gorillas on that and this is the straight line so that Goldie hawn can Tell her Story about How awful the gorillas were and How one Gorilla grabbed her and let her go and he was getting a Little amorous and then. Big punch line. So what in a saying is they have scripts for these shows now. They decide everything they re Gonna talk about in Advance and they re starting out in the first place with guests who Only Wanna talk about one thing in the first place their Book movie whatever. And they wonder Why we re Kinda Gettin sick of it. Lemme explain something Here. Talk shows started in new York City. People in new York City Are talkers. They talk All the time. They talk on the Street in the subway in traffic. They re forced to be talkers because they live Elbow to cheekbone All Day Long a so at the very least they be gotta be Able to say a get your Elbow out of my cheekbone a a and not get killed. The Model characters of lies of the twins. Jack Paar the first great talk show Host was a new yorker. He ran the tonight show from new York. He ran it like a new York cocktail party. You came on the show and you talked. But i mean you really talked. Jack did no to know w hat you were Gonna say and you did t know what Jack was Gonna say. And people loved this show. There Are still shows like this today a and they re in new York. New York has More talk shows per capita than any place in the world. They have nude talk shows lithuanian political talk shows turkish belly dancer talk shows psychic Call in talk shows Punk talk shows people who done to know what sex they Are talk shows a and they have Zero budgets and the people that run Mem frequently have no Talent and no speaking ability and no Charisma and they can to even hold the camera straight. And people watch these shows. Why do they watch Mem because the people Are really talking. Speaking of people who look great on talk shows Isabella Rossellini docs some serious aardvark ing in lies of the twins which just came out on video and i have to admit a in a always a sucker for these civil identical twin movies where you can to be sure which twin is really the bad Guy. One dead body. One breast. Multiple aardvark ing. One motor vehicle Chase. Cart in a Box. Tattoo parlor fun. Sibling fun. Drive in Academy award nominations for Aidan Quinn As the Good twin Tor saying a i believe in the greatness of our souls Aidan Quinn As the evil twin for saying a a it a always a Shock to find out what you re really like and a we always return to the source of the pleasure stimuli and a you might Well regret snubbing me again and Rossellini As the woman who likes it both was for saying a i done to think i Ever wanted someone so much in my life and a there Isnit any me anymore and a ooh James you re very two stars. Joe Bob says Check it out. Joe bobs advice to the hopeless global drive in Victory the first full time drive in in England the Hackney drive in Cinema has opened in a Borough of London. It actually opened in a place called the Hackney marshes which sounds like a perfect place for horror films. Let history record that its first night features were die hard hard to kill Rob Ocop i and 2 and House party. Andrew Nairn of London reminds us that by working together the world fila will remain Safe for the drive in. Dear Joe Bob again i would like to remind you that your a a satire Isnit funny. Your biggest Reader fans Are of course the White Man. But try please try to respect other people in your a movie where the hell were you born and raised anyway Middletown America in a sure. Why Are you so scared of feminists or minorities your articles constantly show that you think its of to degrade people. I understand satire Joe just focus on personality of people in general and not stereotypes of certain races anti sexes. This is Frisco baby get a life. Sarah a. Scott Kensington Calif. Dear Sarah a Frisco a Honey is the greatest first amendment town in America. If you believe there Are privileged types of people who Are too sacred to make fun of you should prob by get a new town. I do it the democratic Way. Creators Syndicate Perot a Campaign gathering Speed not dirt a yet Linda Ellerbee to discuss the meaning of life with Joe Bob or to get free Unk it a the mail and Joe Bob s world famous newsletter write Joe Bob Boggs p o Box 2002, Dallas to 75221 Joe Bob s tax line is always open 214 368 2310 there a a new a Moo Nice afoot. These a Moon Icso arc different. They re not dressed As quasi nurses and they Don t try to hand you unwanted Flowers in the Airport. They done to want to enlist you in the service of the reverend Sun Myung Moon. They done task you for Money yet but the fanaticism that shines from their eyes and the smiles that say a hours is the on Truc Way to happiness and done to you forgot it Buster a arc identical. I mean these people believe. In Ross Perot. Amazing. Here a this dude from Texas unlike Bush this one really is from Texas who May be the Best thing to happen to american government in years or May not be. Its hard to know what a Man will do after he selected when so far he refuses to Tell you what he thinks he ought to do. But the people seem to love him. Several in my office come in telling me something a or Ossa said the night before. Usually its something funny or just old fashioned Down Home Texas billionaire Pithy which to my Surprise plays really Well with new age downtown Street Sharp new yorkers. Texas Pithy in Greenwich Village. I can to help asking Why Perot ? a Why not a i hear. A after All he a a take charge Guy knows How to get the Job comes the pause and the smile. A but he a a Democrat on social issues a he seven time for the second inevitable pause and smile. A but he a no nonsense when it comes to Money stuff and he Isnit a wimp on foreign policy or the sounds like or. Right to me. Except i want to ask a Are you sure How do you know Quot Why Arentt i joining the party at least not yet ? because i feel or. Perot really ought to stand up and Tell us exactly what he believes and what he intends to do about such things As the Economy Urban disarray health care racism and our beleaguered education system. To quote John Wayne in some movie or another Quot mister he a cute but can he dance Quot seems Clear to everybody Why Perot a taking All the time he can getting popular before he starts gel Ting specific. If you get specific you find people who disagree. Once you have to talk about cutting programs or raising taxes you lose some of your Folk hero status and begin looking like a sigh a any other politician. In a curious about these things As a citizen you understand which is too bad. Some politicians would prefer it if i were in an absolute heat to find the dirt on Perot. Those politicians Are waiting for the press praying for the press to dig up dirt on Perot. Even Bill Clinton says Perot is in the most comfortable position a politician can find himself a famous and Clinton even offered questions that might be asked a has he in fact lobbied and made vast contributions to congressmen to get special deals for himself through the Congress a the irony Here is that the same democrats who were so Oish unhappy with the press for dwelling on Clinton a past now look to the press to focus the same degree of attention on Perot s past. The audition of Ross Perot is incomplete. Vituj Tea Turos synd Canumay 24, 1992 sunday a Page
