European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 2, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse Dave barrys 1993 a a a. A a a continued from 7bar attempts the first nude spacewalk. To 9 Buckingham Palace reports Quot very Strong sales of the three volume Prince Charles cellular phone tapes. ,. Quot # ,. 22 in los Angeles president Clinton acting on the advice of new Public image adviser de Rollins gets a haircut. 25 a new York judge after hearing extensive arguments from lawyers for Woody Allen and Mia far Row awards custody of the children to Marge and Homer Simpson. 27 the Clinton administration fires the White House travel staff and after conducting what a spokesperson describes As Quot a totally objective nationwide search to find a replacement selects As the new travel director Roger Clinton. Asked by the press about his qualifications the presidents half Brothe states that he has Quot taken several what Day called 3 True item a Rookie greyhound bus Driver driving the red Eye from Atlanta to Tallahassee on his first Solo trip gets sleepy and has a passenger Lake Over the wheel for the rest of the trip. The Driver is fired when the bus reaches Tallahassee. 4 the fired greyhound Driver is immediately hired by Exxon to Pilot Oil tankers. 14 president Clinton leaving himself open to a charges that his administration has Quot gone Hollywood a nominates barbra Streisand to the supreme court. 19 True item the Washington Post reports that president Clinton has a previously unknown Hal brother living in California. 21 the bulls win the Aba championship and Chicago celebrates in what has Becore the traditional american fashion for this Type of Joyful occasion. Two Are . 23 a very bad thing happens to John Wayne Bobbitt Only hours after the broadcast of the Penis severing episode of Beavis and butt head. 30 True item to compensate for minor irregularities in the Earth a rotation official International timekeepers add one second to this Day. . Law firms adjust their Bills. July 8 in a major breakthrough japanese Trade negotiators after two years of stiff resistance agree to order an american pizza. 10u.s.-japanese relations suffer a major setback when president Clinton in Tokyo to finalize the Trade talks eats the entire pizza. T 15 in the flood ravaged Midwest the toll of human misery worsens As thousands of houses Are blown Down by wind from helicopters carrying news Crews and political leaders frowning Down with concern. August a Quot 9 True item the associated press reports that a Tucson woman could be president Linton s previously unknown half a 24 the Clinton vacationing on Martha s Vineyard go sailing with Ted Kennedy and an estimated 4,500 life preservers. /. 27 in another setback for the space program scientists at the National aeronautics and setbacks administration Are unable to Contact the Mars observer space probe. 30 Nasa scientists finally Contact the Mars observer space probe Only to be greeted by an an Over and Over in a very pleasant voice a your Call is. Important to 31 an alarming new study shows that . Students Are doing worse than Ever on standardized math tests because Many of them can no longer Fig ure out How to turn on their . 8 president Clinton and vice president Gore standing in front of two forklifts Laden with enormous piles of government regulations announce that they Are going to reinvent the Federal government. Everybody has a Good laugh especially the 23,475 employees of the . Department of forklift affairs. U 13 in a White House treaty signing ceremony watched around the world the Mideast conflict it Nally comes to an end As israeli prime minister Yitzhak Rabin and Plo chairman Yasser Arafat encouraged by president Clinton engage in a historic handshake. Conflict resumes immediately when Rabin discovers that Arafat is wearing a Joy Buzzer. 23 in a major address president Clinton announces that the nations health care system is bloated inefficient unresponsive overpriced waste Ful and stupid and that therefore he wants to turn control of it Over to the Federal government. 25 testifying on her health care Reform plan Hillary Rodham Linton is a huge hit on Capitol Hill As she is Able under dose questioning to correctly identify All the parts of the Lymphatic system. 26 on Capitol Hill Hillary Rodham Clinton continues to impress congressional committees by dissecting a cadaver. 27 in Arizona the eight Crew members of bios page8 sunday january 2,1994 e
