European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - February 6, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse Words amp wit notes v James j. Kilpatrick the writers Art couple of months ago in North Carolina the Carteret county historical society urged members to attend the Socie Tyr a second annual Christmas Bazaar. The society sent out a newsletter with a remarkable exhortation Quot remember that the participation of All chs members is detrimental to our Success a that is what is known in the Trade As a Blinker. The editor reached into his vocabulary fumbling for the right word and picked up the wrong word in Stead. He wanted a indispensable a or a essential a and by mischance fell upon it Hap pens with depressing frequency. In the Buffalo n. A news a year or so ago a correspondent at the papers Cheektowaga Bureau reported a possible impropriety involving the Purchase of a town owned House by a town housing inspector. Councilman Richard Solecki was upset at the apparent conflict of interest. The reporter quoted him. Anyone working for the town said the councilman firmly a should be above and beyond a 5 proach a it is a reasonable Assumption that the gentleman said a reproach a but somewhere along the line Between interview and publication concentration flickered. A a a a a these things happen. In Black Mountain ., the managers of a condominium sent owners a bulletin. Each owner should recognize that a some of the persons compromising the original Board of directors May be officers and directors of the condos management firm. Compromising the bulletin meant the associated press filed a Story from Orlando fla., in december in 1992 lawyers had filed a class action to nullify a heavy tax levied upon out of state vehicles. Circuit judge Lawrence Kirkwood found the tax unconstitutional and ordered the Money re funded. Said the apr meanwhile the state has already spent the Money collected from the exuberant a the plaintiffs were indeed exuberant but where did a a exuberant come from it was just lying around in a Box of old parts right next to a exorbitant a and somebody picked it up. The Tucson Ariz citizen reported a few months ago that a local car dealer was enthusiastic about a new computer program for titling and registering be hides. Its the greatest thing he said a since the combustible i May be quite wrong but i suspect the gentleman said a combustion anyhow this Reader blinked. Sometimes a Reader a this Reader for one a can to figure out what in the world a writer is fishing for. In August the san Antonio express news covered a session of the National medical association. The assembled doctors were discussing a the horrifying consequences of a beguiling epidemic plaguing what was the epidemic murder. How did murder get to be a a beguiling beats me. Thinking of things medical the Charlotte Observer carried an item about racing Driver Ted Musgrave. He had been forced out of a race by inhaling Carbon monoxide. A Hospital spokeswoman said he had undergone a hyperbolic oxygen therapy during the the word is someone who is hyperbolic is engaging in wildly extravagant sayings. He is exhaling hot air. One of the problems with blinkers is that no computer software a at least no software program that i know of a will catch the Devilish things. Someday we May get a computer that cries a oops a then we wont have a fugitive waiting in Texas for rendition to Massachusetts the Boston Globe. The Wall Street journal will report properly from France that Valery Giscard Deestaing is procrastinating not Prevar Cating and no car dealer will advertise its infamous hospitality Colorado Springs Gazette Telegraph. Until then let us read our copy at least two times a and prey that a homophone does no to Throe us for a a a a a a. Quot a a / Universal press Syndicate it exactly go better with Atlanta Tony Kornheiser a Tanta a Tough town to get a Pepsi. Atlanta being the Home of Coke everywhere you look a on every building on every Lamppost a there Are giant coca cola banners. A Man got arrested for saying they even have the coca cola museum Here sort of a carbonated louvre. Who says there a no culture in the new South there scan and the coca cola museum. In a used to going to history museums and Art museums but i be never heard of a soda museum. What a the first thing the tour guide says a in the beginning there was fizz How do they Label the water fountains a a diet and a a classic id have gone to the coca cola museum but i get out of the lobby of my hotel i was trapped in the a Geek for those of you who be never been to a super bowl being in the Media hotel during super bowl week is like being squeezed into a giant sardine can a Only Oiler. At any Given time at any Given super bowl Host City there Are 46,000 people in the lobby 45,825 of them men in absurdly decorated nil team leather jackets. Outside of Rush Limbaugh in Bikini briefs there is nothing quite so ridiculous looking As a flabby Middle aged Man wearing a Bulky Orange and aquamarine leather jacket that says a a dolphins in letters 16-inches High. Why not just Wear a sign that says a i Ama Putz they go there to spot a list celebrities like downtown Julie Brown and Martin mull a who wander around in search of careers a and sniff the Musky scent of football. Each of these men has a Lite Beer in one hand and a cellular phone in the other. In be never seen so Many cellular phones. The cacophonous Buzz from the dial tones is incredible if you were Blind you a think you stumbled into a Beehive. What is the fascination with cellular phones i thought cellular phones gave you brain tutors. Whom Are All these people calling their doctors yes there Are some women in the lobby and they All appear to have just come from a grueling Day at a Scarlett of hair a a big tease and tanning they look like material witnesses in the Heidi Fleiss trial in the lower lobby they have the All sports radio stations jammed into what has been called a Magpie alleys because of the constant level of High twitter. The radio area attracts a secondary Geek swarm that Waits to Sec famous athletes alight like hummingbirds along the Row of microphones. A Troy Aikman sighting will throw the corridor into a feeding frenzy you Are advised to scotch guard your official super bowl windbreaker to protect against the drool. The athletes lure the to cameras so the place is lit up like Baghdad during the Gulf War. Every where you look cameras Are rolling. Around the super bowl every move you make is liable to wind up on Cable somewhere which is Why i was reluctant to join so Many of my colleagues who visited Mardi gras the nude sports bar a in the name of sports research of course. You can play topless Pool there. Yes topless Pool. Kind of gives new meaning to the phrase a track Mem i got around a Little in Atlanta. The trendier restaurants defined by the presence of a free Range fish on their menus Are located in a Section called a a Buckhead a which i misunderstood. So i asked the cab Driver to take me to a i butt head Plaza a and suggested it was at the Junction of Beavis Street. The tourist Nightmare is that so Many things Are located on peach tree Street and there Are 55 different peach tree streets circles ways and boulevards. By marry Atlanta s super bowl included this offer to the Bills quarterback from Deborah Kernan of Texas. The Way for All the genuflect ing to peaches Here when at Antans want peaches they ask for ones grown in South Carolina. A native atlantean pal told me the City is in the midst of an identity crisis and recently cast about for a Catchy new civic slogan. His suggestion a Atlanta hundreds of Miles from Ohio a was rejected. A the super bowl put the City on Center stage a he said. Quot this is the Debutante party we be been trying to go to All our lives we re hoping we re not too fat for the prom one of the highlights of the super bowl is the halftime show. In years past the nil has attempted to turn it into the worlds largest pledge of allegiance by cramming every phony Flag waving crooner in America onto the 50-Yard line. The nil is very big on imagery. Last year they finally acknowledged pop music by bringing in Michael Jackson. Us. He Wasny to Back this year. This year was a country music extravaganza with Travis Tritt Clint Black Tanya Tucker and the reunited judds Wynonna had been working As a single lately crisscrossing the country stopping at every Buffet. A at a recent interview Tritt was asked if it was any kind of problem following Michael Jackson. A not this year a he said. The Washington postage 20 sunday february 6, 1994
