European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - February 13, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse Give time to criminals not to juries Joe Bob Briggs goes to the drive in Why can to juries make up their minds have you noticed this lately in the Menendez trial the Reginald Denny trial the Rodney King trial the Manhattan Beach Day care Quot Case a now that i think about it in just about every major trial they have in California the jury stays out about nine years deliberating the verdict. In Texas they re a Little quicker. In be seen pm listen to nine weeks of testimony and come Back out of the jury room in 10 minutes. In be seen pm convict that Quick and in be seen Mem let the Guy go that Quick too. They tend to be a Little quicker in new York too. Up there they almost always let the Guy go. They Call Mem Bronx juries. It takes Mem about eight minutes to decide that All the cops Are liars and that Guy in the ski mask probably did no to shoot 36 people after All. He was just warming his face in the Winter. So in general Texas likes to put Mem in jail. New York likes to put Mem Back on the Street. And California likes to agonize Over it forever. \ but the Bottom line Here a and the reason i think its taking 19 jillion years to get these cases through the system a is that nobody really believes in crime anymore. I mean sure maybe she carved up her hits band but what did he do to her see we used to not care what he did to her. If he does something to her then she a supposed to Call the police not carve the Guy up herself. But now you get three or four jurors every time who think a Well yeah maybe that was the right thing to do. After All this is America. Maybe that a the Only Way she could express a. A look. Its easy. Did they do the crime they should do the time. Why do i have to explain this stuff speaking of scary modern trends they already did the third movie in the body chemistry series. But there a no Lisa peseta the actress who starred As or. Clare Archer the psycho Bitch radio talk show hostess from hell in the first two movies is nowhere to be found in body chemistry 3 Point of seduction. In fact or. Clare now has fifth Billing and is played by Shari Shattuck who just does no to have quite enough voltage if you know what i mean and i think you do. Anyhow they be rewritten the whole Deal so that the stars Are Andrew Stevens As a to movie producer trying to get the rights to clarets Story and Morgan Fairchild As his unsuspecting nighttime soap opera Star wife who wants to be Clare in the to movie. She bitches at Andrew to do anything it takes to get the rights and Andrew basically does it nine ways from sunday during numerous a research trips to the Little California town where or. Clare lives and works. When we get Down to the nitty Gritty its a pretty decent Nek kid body animal sex Black widow breast Rama. Its no body chemistry 2, but its of. Sixteen breasts. Three dead bodies. Multiple aard parking. Licking. Done task one cat fight. Drive in Academy award nominations for Robert Forster As a Sleazy network executive who beats up hookers cheats on his wife keeps trophy bimbos on his yacht and says a a woman is not in jeopardy unless the threat comes from a Many Shari Shattuck for hosting a sex phone in show with picture phones and Morgan Fairchild and Andrew Stevens Are married Hollywood types in body chemistry 3. For saying a a done to touch me i might have an orgasm Chick Vennera As the insecure screenwriter who says a a she a the kind of woman who makes you sit up and beg and Stevens for saying a Why done to you slip out of that wet Raincoat and into a dry Martini a. A Quot a. Three stars. Joe Bob says Check it out. Joe bobs advice to the hopeless Victory Over communism the starlite drive in Between Bethel and Amelia Ohio continues to pack Mem in under the expert management of Dubi Brooks recently named Small business person of the year by the Clermont county chamber of Commerce she a a third generation owner Tif the starlite and the nearby indoor theater the Midway. Tom Long of Cincinnati reminds us that with eternal vigilance the drive in will never die. Dear Joe Bob in a sure you will deny your share of responsibility for the Rodney King verdict although the movies you review helped ensure the result. Everyone knows Bill Cosby is the Only Black Man not a vicious crack addict gang member. After All when is the last time a Friendly Black Man appeared in either the movies or Willie Horton ads you have never understood Why people complain about each individual movie showing Blacks As evil and women As life support systems for a Hugh you whine a a it a just one movie a try this simple Experiment stand on a fire ant Hill and kick it a few times. As each ant bites you repeat this phrase a a it a just one ant what a the big Deal a we Arentt complaining about each individual movie a it is their cumulative effect that has just devastated our country. John Huffer san Francisco dear John i know this might Surprise you but almost every movie i review has an anti violence message. The last time i can remember somebody making a movie in which violence was glorified by the plot was Nightmare in 1982. It bombed at the Box office. Even the maniac cop Dies in the last scene and we re not sorry to see him go. This idea that exploitation movies sponsor violence is a myth that apparently wont die. To discuss the meaning of life with Joe Bob or to get his world to Mous newsletter write Joe Bob Briggs. . To 2002, Dallas. Texas 75221. Joe bobs fax line is always open 214 368-2310. Creators Syndicate the a mean for family viewers Linda Ellerbee finally television is trying to a do something about violence on television. But wait. Before we go telling one another what a swell Bunch of right thinking human beings must be running television these Days let us recall that these people had motivation. There arc no less than 10 Bills in Congress right now that would restrict to programming. They did it before it was done to them. Or rather they almost did it. Two weeks ago the Cable Industry agreed to a monitoring system a ratings system and the use of the so called a Chip. In other words the Cable Industry would track violent shows and Issue Public reports while parents would know when a violent show was coming up on Cable and could Block it. But the four Over the air broadcasters a that a Abc lbs Abc and Fox a refused to join in the rating system or the proposal for technology that would allow shows to be blocked. They agreed Only to the monitoring system which has no mechanism for enforcement. That Means you can say to a network a they that a a lot of violence you got on your air a but you can to do anything about it. The broadcasters said they could not go along with the a Chip because to do so would be to Foster censorship. Bull Doody. As a journalist i like to think i have a Good grip on censorship. A censor is a Man who knows More than he thinks you and i ought to. Sometimes that a a Many is a government but the meaning is the same. I understand the networks desire to keep someone from telling them what they May or May not broadcast. As a to producer i would make a big fight Over my right to produce whatever i dam Well please and that flight would be Worth it even if i lost because censorship is execrable. In american. It is not too much to say that our ability to think and speak freely is the basis of everything i love about America. But i also believe the first amendment stops at my front door or yours. A family is not a democracy. The parents Are in charge of the children a or they re supposed to be. Gall it a benevolent dictatorship a and in a benevolent dictatorship censorship is allowed. Parents have More than a right a they have a responsibility a to Monitor rate and if necessary censor what their children watch on television. Part of the problem we have comes from the fact that too Many parents Haven to a clue what the kids Are watching and certainly done to watch it with them. Its not that they re bad parents. Most of them Are off at work. Yet their authority remains. Therefore a a Chip some piece of technology that will allow parents to Block what comes into their own Home does not interfere with the first amendment. I can still produce what i wish and if you done to wish to watch it or done to wish your child to watch it you can Block it from appearing on your to set. Basically we re talking about a fancier a on off switch a new kind of Remote control. It seems like a reasonable idea. Censorship should begin at Home and it should end there. The first amendment will survive. So will the networks. And so it goes. King features Syndicate february 13. 1994 sunday Page 19
