European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - August 14, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse It kingly marriage rocks fans of Jackson Presley Clarence Page Michael Jackson May be a thriller Tolisa Marie Presley. But to some other daddy s fans he Ain t nothing Buta hound soon As they heard that Elvis Presley s daughter was indeed married to Michael Jackson some of Elvis die hard fans reacted As if they finally had received powerfully convincing Evi Dence that the King was really dead. The sentiments of Many were expressed by Terry Marcos president of Elvis California fans who was quoted by one newspaper As saying Elvis. Must be rolling in his As for Michael he s not even a now now. Don t be cruel. Another male member of the Elvis cult Middle aged and ears draped in sideburns told a Chicago television reporter it la never work Why not the Man hesitated then wagged his hand at the wrist in the Universal derogatory sign for effeminacy. You know Michael is like y know. That Way while she a Well i mean she s the daughter of the King translation Don t Tell me the big e s Only child is going to dilute the sacred Presley Gene Pool with that Little dweeb. I share everyone s Surprise Over this unexpected marriage. Having made the great pilgrimage to Graceland Elvis stately Memphis Home a few years ago i have seen How Little the two worlds of hard Core Michael Jackson fans and hard Core Elvis fans have in common. Since Elvis undoubtedly Means the most to those who know first hand what it is to be what he once was White Southern and poor few of my fellow pilgrims looked like members of shall we say the the Rich the right the reruns Andy Rodney s far As i know which is quite far the following things Are True Rich people who Don t have any Money still act Rich. If you say someone is sincere it s a Nasty remark meaning he s wrong but he Means Well. It s disappointing to Wake up and lose your place Lisa Marie Presley and Michael Jackson pick out toys for children at a Hospital in Budapest two weeks ago. Motown family. Most appeared less Likely to listen to Michael Jackson than to Merle Haggard. But a lot of Michael Jackson fans Are in deep de Nial too. Many look for reasons Why it can t be or Why it won t last. They insist that Jackson is pulling a stunt to dispel rumours that he is homosexual. Or to promote his new album scheduled to be released in november. Or to. Blow away the Cloud left by his settling a lawsuit a few months ago that was filed on be half of a 13-year-old Beverly Hills boy who says Jack son molested him. All of which presumes Elvis 26-year-old daughter a previously married Mother of two is too silly to think for herself. That s a lot to presume especially since she is one of the few people on the planet who May be nearly As wealthy As he is and does t need anything Michael has to offer except As she says his love. / Why then can t we believe the obvious that he said love me tender and she did daddy s Little girl Ain t so Little anymore. Besides in a lot of ways this marriage of mighty when you re having a Good dream. It s also possible to dream that you re trying to Wake up but can t. Most people who Are right Are not As loud about it As people who Are wrong. There s a difference Between people who like coca cola and people who prefer Pepsi cola. Diet cola drinkers Are altogether different and not As much fun. 4 there never has been a year in the Northeast when the weather went so dramatically from too cold to too hot. Weather reports on television last from three to five minutes but anything we want to know about the weather can be told in 25 seconds. Weathermen and weather women Don t seem to understand that we re not interested in jokes. Screen doors keep the flies out but they Aren t very satisfactory As doors. Some lakes have More fishermen on them than fish in them. Too Many plugs on the ends of too Many cords fit Only one appliance. Computers with printers and other attachments have multiplied the problem by a thousand. Computers were supposed to have eliminated a lot Rock dynasties makes perfect sense. After All Elvis and Michael have so much in common. Think about it Elvis was billed As the King frock v Michael is billed As the Prince of Elvis the Pelvis shocked the repressed sensibilities of the Joe Mccarthy Era. Michael the smooth criminal shocks the resurgent conservatism of Thrush Limbaugh Era. Elvis visited president Nixon in the White visited president Reagan in the White House. Both were awarded for their anti drug efforts. Only one As far As we know deserved it. Elvis wiggled his hips and sneered. Michael grabs his Crotch. Television s de Sullivan show showed he is fro the Waist up. Today s Pepsi commercials no longer show Michael at All. Parents in the 50s were wary of Ems today Are wary of Michael s recreation room. Elvis was of the caucasian persuasion. Michael looks like he is trying to be. Of paperwork. They pc multiplied that by a thousand too. Secretaries Are a dying Breed. The fourth of july and Christmas Are the two bes holidays. Thanksgiving is third. Throwing something in a wastebasket is a satisfy ing thing to do. Anyone who d buy a Gold Chain after watching a advertisement for one on television is too dumb to be helped. No one reads All the books wears All the clothes goes All the places or does All the jobs he or she in tended to do on vacation. Interesting people like to be alone More than Dull people. Too Many commercial buildings on main streets Don t have their numbers where you can read them people Don t like to watch reruns on television even if Treyve never seen them before. The world s heavyweight boxing Champion today in t As Well known As Jack Dempsey Joe Louis Muhammad a or even Mike Tyson. When anyone keeps saying you know what Imean it Means he does t know what he Means. You know what i mean. Tribune Media services Page 18 sunday. August 14, 1994
