European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 06, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse Voices an Alp full of curious cult death in Switzerland Joe Bob Briggs goes to the drive Ini m havin a hard time with this idea of weird murdering religious Cults in Switzerland. I mean Swiss religious nuts what do they do Spike the strudel Force ail the members to strap on their lederhosen too tight celebrate the birthday of William Tell with real arrows Waco i understand. I understand Why the Branch davidians would pick Waco. Guyana i understand. I understand Why the Kool Aid brigade would go Down there and play apocalypse now. But Switzerland. There s too Dang much accordion music in Switzerland you know what i mean nor. Mally the Only thing you Ever think of As being strange in Switzerland is that All the cows Are twice the size of ours. What do they do in Switzerland run secret Bank accounts right climb mountains while wearing Stu pid hats. Educate Rich virgins from Connecticut. Rip off diplomats for thousand Buck a Day hotel rooms in Geneva. Drink too much White wine. And j bobsled. " in t that just about it so when you read about a mass suicide and or murder of 48 Swiss religious nuts you be gotta be thinking what the Heck Kinda religion was this speaking of stuff that Don t make sense this week s flick is discretion assured an erotic whodunit that has Way too much plot Gettin in the Way of the Story. " Michael York stars As a businessman in Brazi who s bored with his wife Dee Wallace Stone and bored with his mistress Jennifer p Neilland so he s making the sigh of the triple finned Hammer head with Elizabeth Gracen the former miss Ameri Ca who posed for Playboy in order to say that she won t say whether she Ever slept with Bill Clinton. I thought that was big of her. But it turns out that Elizabeth is actually a High priced Call girl paid for by Michael s Sleazy business7 partner who s also the husband of Jennifer o Neill and not Only that but the Sleazy business partner is the one who put his wife up to seducing Michael in the first place Only he did t count on her actually falling in lust with the Guy and so he s not too pleased about the Way it turned s trying to get everybody else s Money and the reason they re All havin sex together is. Us. Lemche see Here. I had it a minute ago. Dang. A ".-. Anyhow it s a Little different erotic thriller that bogs Down about the 50-minute Mark because All the action has already happened and the rest of the movie is just Talkin about what happened. I hate when they do that. One dead body. Six breasts. Multiple aardvark King. One fistfight. One motor vehicle Chase. Gratuitous disco montage. _ _ drive in Academy award nominations for York doing his 37th b movie of the year for saying i Don t like the Way you re starting to behave and o Neill As the fatally attracted other woman for screaming Don t treat me like your wife _ three stars. Joe Bob says Check it Elizabeth Gracen and Michael York Star in the erotic thriller discretion assured. Joe Bob s advice to the hopeless Victory Over political correctness the i Way drive in theatre on route 9w in Coxsackie n.y., is alive and Well and packing pm in All summer Long. Don t judge by the empty marquee now that the leaves Are falling Bill Munster of round top reminds us that with eternal vigilance the drive in Vytill never die. Dear Joe Bob. " that s it that s m every once in a while one of life s mysteries is explained purely by Chance i mean some Days you get Lucky. Your article about Jean Claude Van Damme and How he can t talk in English because he does t know what he s saying really got to me. You Are 100 percent Correct and Lam so Happy to have had this pointed out to me i thought it wis my fault that i could t under stand All these Yoyos i m a senior citizen and could be going deaf or senile or both but no it s the speaker who is to blame. Goo
