European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 27, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Miss manners Judith Martin dear miss manners my husband and i Dis agree As to whether it is improper for women to Wear hats indoors or rather to leave a hat on if eating lunch Etc. I say it is proper for women to do so. Many French paintings depict women eating with Large hats on. Gentle Reader you do happen to be right. La Dies properly keep their hats on indoors everywhere except their own houses during the daytime. Luncheons even traditionally required ladies to Wear hats. But miss manners is alarmed at the authority you cite. Please do not repeat not take your Stan Dards of decorum from what you see going on in French paintings. Dear miss manners my grandparents Solu Tion to having 16 relatives from around the country at a Holiday dinner is to let the children sit by themselves at another table. Being the polite mature Young lady that i am i have responded with the utmost graciousness. In Side though i am very much disturbed. I am is years old and i do not by live it is fair to have my age count against me in this Way. Is it right to automatically consider that anyone under the age of 18 be excluded gentle Reader excluded you re not being excluded you re sitting with All the great people while the grown ups Are being excluded on the Mere basis of old age. Miss manners does not really expect you to see this at the moment. You Are exactly at the time of life when it is embarrassing to be classified As a child and she is delighted that you Are Able to be so gracious about it. But your relatives who arc younger than you Are probably thrilled to be at the table with you while those who Are just a few years older Are probably grateful to be where they can have sensible Conversa Tion with one another rather than entertain such questions As what arc you going to do when you graduate and do you have a Boyfriend yet the children s table is one of those corny family traditions that people come to value most in Retro Spect. In a family of miss manners close acquaint Ance where the children arc now in their 20s, the proposal to intersperse the cousins with their parents generation was met with dismay they had come to love being at the children s table and introducing their suitors and spouses to it. C 1994, cartoonists & writers Syndicate when do you expect him to come online nevertheless miss manners can get you to the grown ups table if you really want that. Just Don t claim it on the grounds that you arc big now which will bring on a lot of silly old people jokes. Say grandma i feel i Don t see enough of you and the aunts and uncles at these parties. If you could find a place to slip me in i d  get a Chance to talk to you during  dear miss manners of i am at the breaking Point. I work for a temporary Agency where my main responsibility is finding people jobs. Each time i answer the Telephone i am amazed at what i hear coming from the other end. I fear i am losing my patience with people who Start their conversations How you Doin today did someone beep me you got any jobs available did someone there Call me Many times these people sound like they have just awakened or there s a to blaring in the Back ground. It has been my experience that it s much easier to answer any questions if the caller first identifies him or herself. Many times they try but All i get is this is Bill and i meet Many Bills each week. I believe that anyone in search of a Job should be willing to make Telephone work As easy As possible on the potential employer by identifying who they Are and Why they Are calling. I do not appreciate people asking me How i m doing when it May be none of their business. Gentle Reader it is certainly not a Good idea for Job applicants to annoy the person in charge of finding people jobs. You get no argument from miss manners there. But there is a greater reason than your pique for disqualifying these callers from jobs if you would like to use this to justify your personal reaction. And that is that the applicants have just demonstrated that they Are ignorant of professional manners dear miss manners my parents who live in the Small town where i grew up and where i still know Many people usually let me know who has passed away. I try to make it Home once a month so it May be three or four weeks before i see the family of the deceased. If they Are close friends i usually say something to them when i see them. But if i m not that close is it proper to say something after so much time has passed gentle Reader you should be writing letters of sympathy and for close friends paying condolence Calls when you Are in town. Saying something when you happen to run into people is Chancy and awk Ward. Remarking by the Way i was sorry to hear your father died to people you happen to see at the Frozen food Section is a mighty minimal Courtesy. United feature Syndicate. Feeling incorrect address your etiquette questions in Black or Blue Black Ink on White writing paper to miss manners . Box 91428, Cleveland Ohio 44101-3428. The Quill shortage prevents miss Man ners from answering questions except through this column. Arnoul Vancouver Canada you re not quite As smart As i am Sloan. I like that in an  standing up for baby Sitters Erma Bombeck hey used to be called baby Sitters or child watchers. I called them wardens for High risk inmates now they re called nannies. Baby Boomers would t think of having a woman who sits with the  they have a Nanny which conjures up visions of a woman with a starched Cap a Cape and sturdy English shoes. In reality they Wear sandals without Hose jeans and to shirts and speak not one word of English. I Don t know what the difference is Between a sit Ter and a Nanny except one knows How to turn on the Washer and the other one is a great Way to pick up a new language. If nannies Are illegal they can kill you politically. Ask Zoc Baird who was nominated for attorney general when it was discovered she had a Nanny working for her without Legal papers. It was one of Janet Reno s first qualifications i do not have a  \ in California candidate Michael Huffington said his wife did the hiring of an illegal Nanny but he had to take the responsibility for it. Within hours Dianne Feinstein came Forward and said she had a Nanny but she was satisfied her papers were in order when she hired Hen suddenly hiring an illegal has become the crime of the Century. You can smoke pot fool around Cash checks at a Washington Bank for which you have no funds sell arms to the enemy or spy for the rus sians but if you have a Nanny who does t have a Green card serving your kid Oatmeal you re dead in the water. It s semantics. I can remember when we hired a cleaning woman to scrub the bathroom. Then she was called a maid but she did the same thing. She has worked her Way up to Domestic Engineer but she still works for minimum wage. If a child enters the picture she is elevated to Nanny. Hiring an illegal is lawfully wrong. The Law should be enforced. But in t it ironic that you can store an Arsenal of guns on the shelf in the bedroom closet but you can t have a Nanny tending your child with out a Green card which one presents the greatest danger Universal press Syndicate no kidding the count of Dracula 1. Vampire movies released 660 2. . Vampire fan clubs 33 3. . Vampire periodicals 37 4. Vampire plays worldwide 98 5. Vampire operas worldwide 5 6. Vampire ballets worldwide 3 7. Vampire novels worldwide 717 two new Vampire novels published worldwide monthly the Vampire Book the encyclopedia of the undead by j. Gordon Melton visible Ink press the answer is Zero 1. Arrests made by j. Edgar Hoover 2. Elvis Tours outside North America 3. Warship shells fired at Battle of Midway 4. Photographs of Abe Lincoln smiling. 5. Witches burned at stake in Salem mass. / world features Syndicate Page 10 sunday november 27, 1994