European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 4, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse Miss manners Judith Martin dear miss manners am a widow and my Friend has a cd me to be her Honor attendant in her wedding. Would i be called the Matron or maid of Honor gentle deader miss manners does not want to be the one to break the news to you that Maiden Hood is not renewable. So she will confine herself to saying that a widow would have to be a Matron of Honor. Dear miss manners i am an English professor and am burdened by those interested in but in knowledge Abl about my studies. I regularly receive books manuscripts and articles a to these Are sometimes Dir Ely bad a first unpublished novel by an acquaintance for instance. These Are delivered to me uninvited with expectations that i will read them presumably with enjoy mint because of course i a love to worse yet there is pressure to read the item soon and return it with thanks commentary remarks or even corrections. Sometimes my relatives Send their children Over to have me a look Over their essays and schoolwork. I am usually part of a last ditch try to a a fix last minute work i am then expected to drop everything and spend my evening editing the uninvited piece. Because i have no Chance of Ever Reading everything that i actually do want to read i want to avoid Reading that which i have no interest in even if it is a relative s favorite Best seller. T a May i simply hand Back the unwanted item when it is set Down on my desk or carried into my House must i keep it awhile and then return it with feigned sorrow that time a reverted my a getting to it a the latter method often results in the object being re delivered to my care. I done to mind occasionally helping out but i prefer to have volunteered my efforts. 1 done to mind Reading recommended literature but id like to express interest in doing so before being a a loaned a copy. Gentle Reader miss manners does no to just sympathize with you she identifies with you. And its not Only because of the pile of things she promised to read but also because of the shared dictate for the noun a a loan used As a verb. _ _ _ a nevertheless she must interrogate you sternly. Are you quite sure that you never asked a lawyer Friend to look Over the contract for your apartment your plumber Friend to do something about the drip in your sink and one of those Young Pupil friends to retrieve the journal article due tomorrow that you had just accidentally erased from your computer asking relatives and friends for free professional advice and services is rude a unless it is really Mutual. But at the same time it is Nice to be Able to use ones expertise to help a Friend perhaps even to discover and encourage a Good writer. That said miss manners will teach you How to get rid of All that unwanted material. But it requires your learning a difficult English word no. A no thank you i have too much Reading that i have to do and it would be forever before i got to no thank you i make it a Rule never to read friends work a its not fair to them when i can to give it the attention it a gentleman of miss manners acquaintance promises instead a to give it the attention it deserves a but she will not Deal in irony Here a no think it would be a mistake for me to look Over your child a paper. As a teacher i know that papers Are used to diagnose the students weaknesses and having someone else work on the paper would Only disguise them so that your child would never learn to fix them. A besides in Man English professor. What if i worked on it and he still Only got a b minus a dear miss manners As a Young woman with a very strict background i am unsure about How affectionate should be with Young men in front of my family and friends. I am not dating anyone currently. However i have been paying More and More attention to the Way my friends act when they Are with their significant others. It is often uncomfortable to watch them carry on As if no one else around. How much is too much when a couple is in Public is it a kiss a hug sitting on each others laps Etc.? a gentle Reader Etc. Is definitely too much. But then so Are All the other activities you cite including paying Samuch attention to other people who Are engaging in them. Yet another dangerous activity of which miss manners suspects you is speculating about replacing what you Learned from a decent upbringing with whatever you happen to see going on around you even though you admit it brings you discomfort. The truth is nobody likes watching other people nuzzling in front of them. This is Odd considering How much people enjoy watching such things on film but nevertheless True. That is Why there is a Rule against it. It is a Rule that miss manners would not advise you to break in front of your strict family. A a a a a a a. United feature Syndicate a. _ feeling incorrect address your etiquette questions in Black or Blue Black Ink on White writing paper to miss manners a o. Box 91428, Cleveland Ohio 44101-3428. The Quill shortage prevents miss manners from answering questions except through this column. The husband Way of hanging up. On conversation Erma Bombeck i was doing a radio show last week on the topic of a what else a marriage when a caller asked a what do you do with a husband who walks out of the room the moment you Start talking a i almost dropped the phone. I thought i was the Only one who stood around talking to myself. Its something never take personally. Most men have the attention Span of a gnat and its hard to. Hold their interest. As far As husbands Are concerned listening to wives seems to require a companion activity a i a something else they can do at the same time. Some of the More popular duos Are a running water in a sink while his spouse is talk ing so he yells above it a i can to hear you with the water a dealing a phone number while you Are telling him of some crisis and then holding up his hand for silence when his number answers. A wandering out of sight and Yelling Back a i can still hear you. In a looking for the to i used to say to my husband with All the modesty i could Muster a i get paid Good Money to lecture to groups of 500 to 1,500 people. Not one of them has walked out of the room while was he would answer a maybe that a because you have something More riveting to Tell them than you find the reset Button on the garbage disposal and its beginning to smell like a sewage i done to have an answer As to How to get menus attention. Dressing in Saran wrap does no to seem to Cut it. Neither does a teaser like a do you want to know Why the irs called you today a i know am sick and tired of banging on his bathroom door and shouting a a hot air balloon landed on our driveway. I have _ a a someday in a going to say something important and hell be backing the car out of the driveway a and miss it. A a a. Universal press Syndicate _ _ Toos Usa a your health plan covers you your family and three of your favorite Gerberg Usa l\wjcq&tjj&4 no kidding?8 words censored from movies in �?T30s by motion picture code Board 1. God 2. Lord 3. Damn. 4. Chippy v 5. Broad a a a 6. Pregnant _7 7. Seduce. A _ a a. 8. Virgin Quot reviews that were off the Mark 1. Monday night football a a will fall on its helmet Abc. 2. Dallas a a Dull and contrived variety 3. The play amadeus a a nauseating Quot London times 4. De Sullivan As emcee a a will advised new a York times. 5. Bonanza a a just another Western variety. _. World features Syndicate Page 10 sunday december 4, 1994
