European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 04, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Voices it s a whole by Robin abcarian los Angeles times ack before the people spoke i thought that no Newt was Good news. R but Ever since the second tuesday in november i be seen the Light. And boy it s great to be a Republican i Don t know a single Democrat anymore. Walkabout your Jurassic party everything s coming up newts. "., -."-. " -. Why look Over there there s Gloria Ste Newt the former feminist who now says her stint As a Playboy Bunny was the most fulfilling experience of her life. I just did t realize it till now says Ste Newt founder of a hew Magazine called the Newt Republic. Our first Issue features a Story on How the upper Middle class is victimized by usurious tax rate son capita gains. Like i be always said a Republican without a National health plan is like a fish without bicycle. Of  and there goes the noted poet Maya Angenett hard at work on a poem to be delivered to the Amer ican people in january when Congress officially swerves to the right. It s a revised version of the poem she recited at the inauguration of that demo crat Waal payback in 1993. The new title this new morning dawning. The first line which might a pc become a Clas sic if Only English classes were not going to be re placed by creationism studies is a Rush contract a  for inspiration Angenett has been eating pork rinds and Jelly Beans. She wears a pained expression As she writes. Indigestion perhaps v say Here comes former democratic Shinmei Stegeorge Stephano Ponet George hello -7. " a " that s Odd. George has duct tape Over his Mouth interview with tha Vampire. It looks like Aneta Hill has a minute to talk. Aneta who was recently spotted underlining passages in the Newt testament experienced a dra Matic conversion on election Day. " i think i be seen the Light she says. Those secular humanist liberals used me Back in 91 to fur ther their godless Agenda. Just Hope Clarence x Thomas can forgive me because i d really like to use him As a Job reference. Say do you have a number for the supreme court the great thing about Newt Gingrich is that it s not just Washington he s taking by storm. He s out to finish the Job Dan Quayle started the Rescue of american culture from the forces of evil such As unwed mothers on to and anyone who graduated from Yale Law school. 1 11 already Newt s influence is being Felt on Broad Way where composer Andrew Newt Webber is creating a new musical Pennsylvania Boulevard in which a sincere but misguided president invites a co operative but uncompromising congressman into theoval office for a Chat that changes their lives. I m looking Forward to the president s big musical number school prayer shuffle must want to be loved. --,-.- -. V i it s not just Newt s Agenda that is so darn Appeal ing. Sure he s the Best thing that has happened to y american politics since Sonny Bono took Palm Springs by storm. But it s More than that it s the Man himself. Newt is cute. ,. / a a i he s got twinkly Little eyes yes i suppose some would Call them Beady and a Jolly round face some might say puffy and when he laughs his belly Well i Don t know what his belly looks like when he laughs. But Jutin guessing it bears a relationship to a bowl Ful of Jelly since the Man does not appear to have been in spitting distance of an Abdo Minizer in a Long Long time probably not since George Mcgovern was spewing his Brand of Incho ate Clinto ism around the country i m not really sure what Newt has against George Mcgovern. All Mcgovern Ever did was lose in a landslide to Richard Nixon More than two decades ago. Newt ought to be grateful. Instead Newt implied before the election that Mcgovern was somehow responsible for the actions of that woman in South Carolina who confessed to drowning her kids. According to Newt it is our wan ton society As exemplified by the Mcgove Mick counterculture that leads to parents  Well i Don t know about that. But Newt does an that s the important thing. See he Only wants what s Best for America mandatory school prayer and orphanages for children whose parents receive Public assistance. Who could be against orphanages except for the children who live in them fortunately welfare orphans can t vote. They a just have to Pray v / whether their prayers will be answered Well not Newt s department. Vet. The glory of. & j the beatles Jong and winding scam by Jim Dwyer new Day in 1962, a producer for the bbl did a scouting report on a musical group that wanted to play on a weekly radio show. He had a pretty Sim ple rating system for the singers John Lennon yes Paul Mccartney  but he did allow Paul to sing on the first Broad cast so he could t have been too Harden Paul re marked Kevin Hewlett a bbl archivist. _ i _ every 10 minutes someone lurches out of the past with a never released picture of the Juk assassination. We could do without and quite nicely. Now a new beatles album is coming out pedigreed authentic stuff that has never been released before this is another piece of the 1960we could live without just not As Well As we can with it. The bastards Are Back George Harrison wrote on the jacket of a disc sent to him. Cranky Cranky. " a " for three years the beatles did live radio Broad casts for the bbl naturally tapes were Nade. We have lived Long enough for these to be new All Over Jigalin. They willbe distributed in Early december as56 songs on two cd that will sell a zillion records. The beatles May not have been bigger than Jesus Christ As John Lennon once announced but they have managed yet another resurrection. The archivists rolled Back the Stone at the bbl and pulled out the old tapes. Of course it is a  Lovely one. If you Don t mind pretending to be Young and fresh then Yaj Wojt t find a thing wrong with these songs most of them cover versions of songs Origi Nally done by such legends As Chuck Berry Little Richard Carl Perkins Elvis Presley Smokey Robin son buddy Holly Ray Charles. The beatles performed these songs Between 1962and 1965, right about the time they took Over the world. The new cd which will be called live at the bbl contains songs written by Lennon and Mccartney that Haven t been on any of their officially published records. You never missed them so Don t worry. The people who needed to hear them the compulsive obsessives already have them. I begot at least 23 illegal discs of the bbl re " cording and there s lots More one of the British reporters announced. Why riot just release it All _ that was one of the sillier questions. You might As Well put put absolutely everything the beatles Ever said or did or breathed or what Ever retorted Martin. And you d be bored stiff l anyway if they released All the beatles tapes that will we do for Christmas in 1998? wait for the unreleased Elton John. The people who grew up with the beatles Are wan Dering the musical planet now and trying to figure out where they belong. The beatles people now have Young Kidskin the House life already rocks and Rolls As much As they dare few people living with the snarl of an actual Een Ager can imagine buying a cd of Metallica or that Snoop Doggy Guy. That is Why people who once were hip now nod sympathetically but secretly won Der who exactly this Kurt Cobain was and Why the kids Are Sausset about Hin dying. The beatles swear this is the last of the by tapes. Los Angeles times Washington Post news Selce Page 20 sunday december 4, 1994