European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 11, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                To the heart of Core William Safire on language x n those things that Are at this Core of ii aM Pur contract said incipient speaker Newt Gingrich on those things that Are at the Core of our philosophy. There will be no  Core is in to get right to the heart of the matter As we used to say such terms As Center Hub nucleus Crux and even quintessence have been rendered hopelessly old fashioned. Those who remember Core mainly for Rotten to the Core had better get Down to the Kernel of the nut the Vogue word s Power is shown by its use not merely As a noun but also As a modifier. Newtonians speak of Core beliefs virtuous William Henriett holds Forth on Core values Liberal Llitera tors worry about Core concerns in the Core City inner is out. Thus has Core established itself As the year s hottest attributive noun ousting yesteryear s executive summary and killer  Harlow True adviser to presidents liked to express the Center s Center As peeling the onion Down to where the tears  Shakespeare s Hamlet swore that if he could find a Man who is not Pas Sion s slave i will Wear him in my heart s Core immediately defining that for slow audiences As in my heart of  Shakespeare used the singular heart of heart correctly. By 1806, Wordsworth was pushing the plural which is now the familiar form yet in my heart of hearts i feel your  when did we Start using Core As a a modifier in the 19th Century Core Barand Core  used in Metal casting. In 1926, a guide to Stone age implements in the British museum observed the change from a Core Industry to a  Flake industries today Range from head shops to political commentary to get to the nub i turned to the Barnhart dictionary of etymology. The noun is suggested there to be derived from the French Peur literally heart from the latin co for the same word which does not Lead to a coronary from the latin Corona Crown. The etymology its report that the first use of Core to mean the part of a nuclear reactor con Taining fissionable material was recorded in 1949, and note that one form to take out the Core of fruit dates to the mid-15th Century. But this excellent reference work about linguistic roots has no coverage of the attributive noun that to Day s deep thinkers have taken to their innermost lexicon. For that you have to go to the cover of the dictionary which advertises itself As covering the Core vocabulary of Standard  space for Caber v. \ .-.-. Let s interface it Caber is the hot combining form of our time. If you Don t have cube phobia you Are a Caber Philias. When a los Angeles think tank started the experimental democracy network to let politicians inter act on line the move was headlined As campaigning in cyberspace that word was coined by William Gibson in Neu romancer his 1984 Sci i novel. Bill Howard executive editor of pc mag Azine modems me that originally cyberspace was the future network created when people melded their brains with computers. It then came to mean the romanticized no place where hackers met to carry on electronic conversations. Cyberspace in the past year or two has come to be More broadly Equa Ted with the internet . The information High Way info Bahn Autostrada Etc Newsweek which Calls its Page covering the Vir Tual Virtues cube scope on the analogy of its per scope Page informs us that steamy computer bul Letin Board exchanges form what is called cybersex naturally the Climax induced by computer transmitted stimuli is a Cyb Ergas Nas Safe a sex gets. There is no doubt that Caber is now a combining form says the lexicographer Cynthia Barnhart though it seems to have slipped by dictionary Mak  a pub in London where you can get a Vodka is named after the Frozen wastes of Caber a. New York times hello does a brain cell come with this phone Tony Kornheiser Oday we publish the net episode of the exciting new ministries Anthony is an  if you will recall when we last left him our hero Anthony was sitting at his desk like a Baboon staring at the screen of his new $2,500 computer unable to make it say anything other than c. But that was Many weeks ago and Anthony is now a techno Pioneer enraptured by the work saving magic of modern science. Today finds him sitting at his desk staring at his new $70 cellular phone with retractable Antenna. He is unable to do anything except retract the Antenna. When i purchased this Telephone i thought i was getting a great Deal. It was Only $70 but no sooner did i swagger out of the store with my $70 Telephone did i learn that a Only a Complete imbecile would pay anything for a cellular phone since Many places basically give them away because b the True Cost of a cellular phone has nothing to do with the actual Cost of the phone but what you pay each month to make and receive Calls which is $4,000 a minute giving me a cell phone is like giving a Kangaroo a food processor. The Kangaroo might push the but tons and something mechanical might happen with in the big bowl part but the Kangaroo probably would t make a Good re roulade sauce. I m not Good at this sort of stuff. I recently or dered voice mail from the phone company for my Home phone. For a few Bucks a month extra they turn your phone into an answering machine when Bono Northants England it s All  s a lot of them but they Veall  you Are not Home after a few Days i picked up the Telephone in my Kitchen and heard a stuttering beep beep beep beep sound before my customary dial tone kicked in. I called the phone company and told them my phone was broken. They told me the Choppy sound was the voice mail indicator telling me that i had a message. I expressed Surprise. How did you think you would be informed you had a message the operator asked me. Well my phone at work has a message Light so i figured my phone at Home would Light up too i said. Do you see a bulb anywhere on your Home phone that could Light up Well a i stammered i thought maybe my Hall Light would Flicker or  anyway my first problem with my new cellular phone was trying to figure out which part you talk into. There s no mouthpiece no familiar Grill work. Below the last Row of numbers there s a tiny Slot no bigger than one eighth of an Inch you could t fit a cat s Toenail clipping in it. This i assume is where you talk. Or maybe i bought the Model where you can Only listen you Call people and hear them say hello. Hello. Who is this is anybody there then they hangup which is of on account of the aforementioned Cost of using the phone. The truth is i have no need for a cell phone. Some people get it for safety so they can Call aaa if they get a Flat tire. I solve that by always carrying enough Cash to leave the old car and buy a new one. I got a cell phone so i could look Cool. You know How when you see some Guy waiting on line at a restaurant for a table yakking on a cell phone and you say to yourself what a Putz Well i want to be that Guy. I want the maitre d to come Over and Tell me my table s ready and then As All the seated Din ers look at me i sashay by and i m holding my cell phone to my ear laughing like i m talking to Bob Hope i want my neighbors to see me standing out on my stoop on a sunday morning wearing a Pierre Cardin Bathrobe walking in tiny circles talking to my agent of course what i d mostly be saying is is it better now can you hear me now because on most cell phones you can t hear a word anybody s saying. It s like trying to talk to Charo in the Holland Tunnel. But that is beside the Point. The fact is i finally have a cell phone. How Long have you had it my Friend Gino asked me. Two Days i  How Many Calls have you made tie asked. It depends on what you mean by Calls i responded warily. Do you mean where i dial a num Ber and someone answers and says hello and i say something Back yes that would be one  Well by that strict definition none i admitted. Because the Calls Are so expensive Gino looked at me. No it in the said. It s be cause you Don t know How to make  prove to me you can use your cell  i tried calling the phone on my desk. I punched in the numbers then hit Send and waited for the phone to ring. It did t. I tried something easier 411.nothing. Finally Gino said look see if your phone is work ing. Dial your cell phone from your office phone. I a Don t know my number i said. Regrettably everything in this column is absolutely True. Anthony is an idiot. Creators Syndicate Page 24 sunday december 11, 1994