European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - August 4, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Review Chow line by sgt ret Clement Lounder very regular Type readers of this space May remember a Churchman i once knew by the name of fast brother Eddie a mess sergeant turned missionary whose idea of shaking up the faithful was bringing in a jockey to Lead the sunday read. "1 like to think of it As the Sermon off the mount fast brother Eddie would cackle chasing Back his hairline with a single sweaty Palm. Eddie you May recall was the founding father and not quite right reverend of the Church of Ain t that something a mail order evangelism based on but a single theme "1 Tell people i m a minister and they say hey Ain t that something " now what you do not know is the Story of the time when jumbo Perry and me at fast Eddie s insistence packed the Good brother off for a weekend of desert camping what was to be a couple of dry Days out in the new mexican wilds far away from the worries of this butt whipping world. The perfect time to kick Back and Chew the fat to swill a brew or maybe two and to lie about every car and every woman you have Ever had. If you get my Drift. Things went Fine until the very first night when the three of us tired to the marrow from a 30-mile hike and maybe a couple too Many brews picked out a Flat stretch of Sand at the base of a Hill and said base Camp in a single Beery breath. It being already Twilight we gathered up every Mesquite stick and dried out piece of Cactus we could see then lit a fire big enough to Toast a Homecoming Queen. And when that fire was just right when it was a perfect White Ash Over a belly of glowing red jumbo hauled out three calf sized steaks and uttered them now famous words hey who packed the cooking gear nothing. Silence. What they Call a pregnant pause. What they Call a pause pregnant enough for the Dionne quintuplets. And then brother Eddie with a couple of furious the Mal partus at Darmstadter Strasse 109 in Auerbach Bentheim West Germany. Swipes at his hairline kind of slides this big eel sucking Grin on his face the kind of smile preachers save for just before that second pass of the collection plate. And he says boys. I think i forgot  Well jumbo was for hanging fast Eddie right there had there been a tree. But Eddie sensing my buddy s mutinous Type spirit promised to make Quick amends and without another word disappeared Over the Hill and into the arid desert night. A hour passed. We were still sitting there nursing a couple of now warm brews jumbo sulking his Way through a family sized Box of melted Raisin ettes when Eddie suddenly sprang up on the Hill above. With the Moon glowing behind him his hiking shirt open to the Waist and billowing slightly in the microwaved wind brother Eddie looking for All the world like Charlton Heston held High a pair of Large Flat. What tablets the ten commandments cooking stones he cackled pushing Back his hair and flopping Down the Hill in a single nowhere near to fluid lurch. Hell there s a whole Wall of shale just the other Side of this  i was reminded of brother Eddie s Stone grilled steaks just the other week when Joleen and me feeling fit for a filet stopped by a place called the Mal partus a restaurant operation along the old Castle Road to Heidelberg. The place is kind of cozy with about a dozen tables dotting a dining room that features traditional fake beanery plus a few  Odds and ends. The menu Here is mainly meat offset with baked potatoes and an authentic salad bar plus a Short list of very decent wines by the Glass. They offer about a dozen steaks beef pork and veal plus soups a few first courses and a handful of Grill dishes designed for two. Simple major Chow. We ordered up a couple wines i landed a cheap but tasty French red then called for some starter courses. Joleen slowed through a plate of snails while i poked at a pile of mushrooms stuffed with what appeared to be ground spam. High Marks for the snails the lady said but i got to Reserve judgment on them mushrooms. Main courses i opted for the pork tenderloin an entire pork filet something on the order of 12 ounces or so grilled to perfection and rolling in a Pool of sauce Bernaise. Salad and Home Fries on the Side All of it top drawer Chow. Joleen went for a filet a quantum chunk of the Best beef i be seen lately served up raw on a slab of sizzling Stone and allowed to Cook right there at the table while you eat it. The Stone sits in this Little Ceramic Holder that s got pockets of sauces and italian peppers on the Side. Joleen also landed a trip to the salad bar and some cheese potatoes. All in All the works scored a solid nine on the International scale the lady said. A Side note Here about the salad bar it offered about six types of lettuce plus assorted chopped veggies like carrots and tomatoes and baby onions and such and a Pitcher of Green Herb dressing but no Bacon bits no cheese chunks chopped eggs Croutons or other fixings. But what the to for Germany not bad at All. We ended things with a Little Coffee and a Cognac too stuffed to even consider dessert although they have a few interesting offerings in that department As i recall. Later nursing the Toad Back Home we worked out our rating. For starters we re talking solid thoughtful Chow All of it in major portions and at fair prices. Service is brisk but Friendly. At one Point they brought out samples of a couple of their wines so Joleen would get just the right one. Extra Points for the salad bar. Like i said before Good open wines. Of bathrooms. The Mal partus is situated at number 109 Darmstadter Strasse otherwise known As the Bergstrasser in the town of Auerbach Bentheim. Telephone 06251-73107 for reservations which Are recommended on the weekends because they turned a couple people away while we were there. Allow about $18 a head for two courses not counting libation Al int omission. Joleen and me give the place 31/2 pointy fingers. Ratings a 2 a a awesome eats. We re talking Paradise on a plate Here. 2 2 a very Fine dining. Crack service and memorable food and drink. � solid Chow. Good food of atmosphere and pleasant service. 2j a decent. About equal to a Ponderosa Steak House. 2 path butt. Crummy Chow so so service Semi ratty Interior. 24 stripes Magazine August 4, 1988