European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - June 17, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Army brats known by that lost look Cindy Chambers guest columnist i became an army brat approximately 33 years ago by being born to a military family stationed in Munich. Before that i was an army embryo. Inevitably i grew up joined the army for a while married a Soldier and gave birth to two of my own Little army brats. Is this sick or what the army brat is easily distinguished from the rest of the population. They re often seen driving tentatively Down one Way streets an expression of panic on their faces mumbling things like a this is a two Way Street Isnit it this is Elkhart Isnit it a that a because army brats have the worst senses of direction in the world the result of having to move every 20 or 30 Days. Sometimes late at night you can even hear them calling plaintively to each other As they Dangle from their third floor balconies a this is the bathroom Isnit it this is Muskogee Isnit it a in a sure you be heard perfectly Normal people say a my sense of direction is so bad i  find my Way out of a paper sack a a  but by Law army brats Are the Only ones who can Lay valid scientific claim to that fact. That a because in 1948, the department of defense actually conducted an Experiment using an army brat and a person who is not an army brat hereafter known As a pm Naab. Both individuals were placed in a 9-foot-High paper bag usually reserved for payday commissary shopping. Needless to say the pm Naab made his Way out of the bag within seconds. The army brat is still in there occasionally clawing halfheartedly at the sack and muttering a this is Phantasia land Isnit it this is Kiln Isnit it a army brats Are also clearly identified by their unusual speech patterns again the result of having lived in every major . A accent sector with three year Tours of Alaska and Vicenza and possibly England thrown in to really confuse people. A typical conversation Between them sounds something like this a pee Paw was changing the Ole in his Cah oot by yer Hoose when a Cook truck carrying ranges and caramels done killed eem. Gnarly not a a Coo  what is the ultimate Fate of these beleaguered army brats is it True that army brats never die they just move away unfortunately no. Army brats do indeed die. But before they do they begin to look like their id card pictures which is much much worse. Cindy Chambers is a military family member living in Schwein Furt. West germany.4a-< Kitiss manners Judith Martin dear miss manners a is there any tactful Way to ask for Cash As a graduation present this summer i have chosen to drive across America to learn something about my country that a textbook cannot offer. I also see it As a Reward to myself for having survived four years of Catholic High school. My parents Are not willing to help in the area of finances. My Mother says she is already spending time and Money on a graduation party and my father insists he is already covered by having bought me a car a two very hard arguments to answer. Of course i have a savings account of my own but in a beginning to realize How expensive this venture is going to be. What should i do acknowledge gifts with thank you notes and then try to return them for the Money or Tell people in Advance that i need Cash to take a vacation gentle Reader a allow miss manners to summarize your plight your parents have Given you a car. They Are planning a graduation party in your Honor. You have suggested to them that they could do More and they were not receptive. Nevertheless you have picked up the idea that adult affection and Good will can be turned into sponsorship for whatever plans you devise for yourself. You arc now casting your eve further afield to see what the graduation party guests might do for you along these lines. Do not expect miss manners to help you. She believes you should accept with gratitude any presents people happen to offer you after which you can do with them whatever you wish. She feels she has done quite enough for you by correcting your spelling. Dear miss manners a Are we supposed to invite the parents of our daughters p of Date to our House for a drink and to see the Coupie together do the girls parents Call the boys parents or do the boys parents Call the girls parents gentle Reader a although a prom Date is not an engagement requiring the lady a parents to Call on the gentleman a so they can All find out what kind of people they now have to be related to this is a charming idea. The girls parents should invite the boys As the Young couple will depart from her House. It docs not escape miss manners attention As it probably did not escape yours that this is a w on Darful Opportunity to gang up on the Young couple about rules for the evening. Dear miss manners a is it proper to eat applesauce with a Fork or with a spoon is either acceptable i absolutely must know this. Gentle Reader a Are you eating Lumpy applesauce is that the problem miss manners is tempted to Tell you that it is perfectly proper to eat applesauce with a Fork just to have the Opportunity to watch you do it. But actually dessert is eaten with both Fork and spoon. Applesauce served with a main course is sneakily shoved on top of a bite of pork chop so that it does no to fall through the tines of the Fork. United feature Horoscope for the week of june 17 gemini May 21-june 20 resume your cleanup crusade with enthusiasm. Get that Kitchen and bathroom spick and Span. Play rousing music. Stock up on health foods. Study human nature. Cancer june 21-july 22 find peace in your Garden or in a favorite Hobby. Take your mind off rising turmoil through exercise. Turn Over a new Leaf with a partner. Moonlight strolls spark fires. Leo july 23-aug. 22 open your mind to higher potentials. A week for rare insights. Spruce up your Domestic world. Holding grudges works against you. Look on the Bright Side of life. Virgo aug. 23-sept. 22 talk Over differences with key associates. Done to trip Over self created obstacles. Why launch into tirades when Harmony can be restored imbibe favorite health elixirs. Libra sept. 23-oct. 22 put on regal airs. Visualize yourself on top of the totem pole. Think dynamically to Ward off self doubt. Express affection to troubled relatives. Watch mood swings. Scorpio oct. 23-nov. 21 Roar like a lion on All fronts. Be an ingenious business manager who knows the score. Pay attention to psychic promptings and intuitive flashes. Confide in a soul mate. Sagittarius nov. 22-dec. 20 examine your sexual needs. And be a Good custodian for material assets. Your imagination is empowered. See the world with new eyes and find unusual ways to communicate. Capricorn dec. 21-Jan. 19 blow the whistle on selfish Aims. Let your magnanimous Side Blossom. Become a Patron of the arts. Also participate in group sports such As softball or volleyball. Aquarius Jan. 20-feb. 18 decisive action is necessary in vital partnerships. Don t get trapped in emotional Quicksand. Maintain an upbeat Demeanour. Gather with friends As much As possible. Pisces feb. 19-March 20 develop a wait and see attitude on career plans. Make your Home a treasure trove with Antiques. Come to the Rescue of family members in turmoil. Your words alone heal. Aries March 21-april 19 Analyse business prospects with a Fine toothed comb. Done to make too Many secret plans or allow emotional burnout to Drain Energy reserves. Love temperature rises. Taurus april 20-May 20 accent emotional serenity. Be an Amateur detective and find out what makes you tick. Throwing your weight around adds insult to injury. Mellowness is your Panacea. Copley news service june 17,1990 sunday c Page 11