European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 13, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse A Ltd jl5 to cd a f i a a Ira a. A t a,.1 a Vya a a it. .a-.,-r v. Only fit reporters can participate in Gulf exercises Russell Baker new York times reporters who want to cover the pos Siulc War in Arabia will have to do push galore for Pentagon phys Eal fitness testers or stay Back at Headquarters with the brass. Tie aim is to keep combat zones free of the flabby and frail. A the precise number of push required to get to the front varies according to age and sex but As a person who has always despised gymnasiums i find All the numbers gruesome. Reading the requirements makes me glad i have decided to cover the War from Washington. There a reporter is considered physically fit if he can Bend an Elbow and make himself heard in a shouting Competition with three other reporters on one of those pout and rave to talk shows. Journalism demands More in the desert. For men under 32, it demands 38 push for those under 37, it demands 33 push . Even the old crocks 42 years old and up have to do 26. Just writing these figures exhausts me. Even when i was a lean 18-Ycar-old, i could t do 26 push . It was the pointless Ness of push that Defeated me. A i once did 22 at the insistence of a Navy officer who thought it was Good for the War Effort to have everybody do plenty of push . He had commanded me to do 25. He was always commanding people to do 25 push . He seemed to believe that if everybody in America could just do 25 push the japanese would Sec the hopelessness of their situation and surrender. He had Many despairs among my colleagues for they were mostly of the raffish depression generation that had grown up on James Cagney movies and thought it a Manly obligation to irritate authority when it took itself too seriously. Actually i probably could have done 25 if i could have persuaded myself that it really would make the japanese sorry they a bombed Pearl Harbor but i suspected the japanese weren to counting and the incredible boredom of doing push up after push up had weakened my spirit. The thought that there Are now reporters 42 years old a maybe 50 years old and who knows maybe 60 and 70 years old a who Are capable of doing 26 push increases my respect for the Trade. A a / a. A everybody has been saying that the people entering journalism nowadays Are far Superior to the old fashioned crowd but until now id thought this meant Only that they drank Pink Zinfandel instead of Gin smoked dried weeds instead of unfiltered camels and had trained on the Harvard Crimson instead of the Hobo news. Apparently i erred. _ if the Pentagon a judgment of the situation is sound always unlikely of course we now have a press corps of such physical grandeur that even its Graybeard can survive 26 push . How did we grow this race of Iron journalists if they a been in 1943, . Push up production might have forced Japan to surrender before Gen. Macarthur returned to the Philippines. Push up quotas for female reporters in Araby Are startlingly lower than for males. The maximum for a woman is Only 15, and women Over 41 have to do Only 12. This raises the always delicate Issue of sexual Equality. Doubtless there arc biological reasons women can to be expected to match male push up productivity but still Isnit there something discriminatory against women Here the system forces men to reach a 26-push-up level of physical fitness before facing the risks of the Battle zone whereas women need reach Only the feeble 12-push-up level. Feminists May suspect that the Pentagon is not terribly concerned for the safety of women reporters in Battle zones. Tvs is not so. I have it on the Best authority that if every woman in the country could have done 12 push in 1943, the japanese would have surrendered at once and immediately gone into the automobile business. \ contents cover Tom Hanks Melanie Griffith and Bruce Willis Star in Quot the Bonfire of the vanities. A Page 9. Observations. 3 our heroes Are closer to Home what should the military do differently this year Joe Bob Briggs. 4 Joe Bob comments on acceptable nakedness featured the worst to shows Ever made Here a a list on videos. 6 a new Chuck Norris a new Peter Weller to briefs. 7 super bowl hoopla and a Cla series this weeks films 8-9 Quot the Bonfire of the vanities a not bad not great Complete cafes circuit listings on television. 10 its going to be a week of pre emotions television listings. 11-14 local Cable and satellite schedules trends a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a 15 whom do americans Admire for gun control runs Strong books a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a 16-17 a Way for everyone to help Uncle Sam William Safire on a Mickey mouse phrase science and the world18 bacteria devour radioactive waste at a glance Israel Odds amp ends. 19 end of the gift giving Chain miss manners and Horoscope ii lae Joh. 24 Dave Bam cartoons from around the world what do Margaret Thatcher and president Bush have in common find out on Page 15. Gavin Macleod and his a love boat Sank to new lows in television entertainment. A list of others on a critics worst show list is on Page 5. To plus is a weekly supplement of the stars and stripes 1 editors John Taylor a Sarah Bottorff Art director Sharon Kilday production Lisa Williams Denise Adams editorial assistance Louis Pierce Marian Hamilton Page 2 to plus sunday january 13,1991 \ a a a. U a a pc 2r. Is s americans looking in wrong places for their heroes Ron Jensen v a by u. Staff writer a a a a a. I of the newspaper article said that Ameri i cans Are importing their heroes. There b Are none to be found evidently on do Al Mystic shores. V Nelson Mandela Lech Walesa and even Mikhail s. Gorbachev Are turning up on lists of heroes for americans. A social historian quoted in the article says credit for this goes to a growing cynicism toward american Public figures. If so that s no reason to dismiss America As a source of heroes. Americans should simply redirect their search from the Public Pedestal to their own neighbourhoods. Few people Are More cynical than newspaper reporters. We come in Contact with the worst society has to offer a brutal murderers dishonest cops pompous and greedy politicians and businessmen. But we also Brush against the Best. In my career As a Newspaperman i be met scores of people worthy of being heroes. now nominate two for americans to Honor. Dan Allen runs a social service Agency on the North Side of Tulsa okla., a the Black and the poor Side of town. And he runs it on a shoestring always on the Brink of collapse. Dan likes it that was. A the people we serve Are living on the Edge he should we be any different a it helps the staff understand the problems of their clients. A you wont find neighbor for neighbor on the list of Tulsa s United Way agencies Dan hates that bureaucratic fund raising monster. Too Many rules he says. Too much justification. When someone comes to Dan asking for help a he says. A How much a not a How come a Dan knows that asking for help is embarrassing enough without having to show the wounds that created the need. The Cost for help from Dan is not ones dignity. When i was writing a Story about Dan s refusal to join United Way an official with the Organiza-1 Tion told me Quot when somebody takes our Money we expect them to play by our a what Dan has been saying. He was once offered $5,000 by the United Way. He said head rather take Money from the a local and he says this even As his Agency threatens to close for Lack of funds a perpetual crisis. But neighbor for neighbor keeps going and keeps helping just As it has for More than 20 years now with the philosophy of its founder a hero in my mind a unchanged. And then there is Bernic. I met him while work ing for a newspaper in Kansas. Berm was . Late 20s then but his development Sheroly lagged behind his age. A shortage of oxygen following his birth left him so impaired. His behaviour was that of someone half his age. Yet he was Able to live by himself and worked As a janitor at the Public Library. When i was writing a Story about Bernie. 1 went to his apartment for the interview. It was Deeo rated with pictures of Cowboy movie and be Levi Sion stars. For most of the interview Bernie and i talked in horrible John Wayne impersonations. It sounded awl i. But we shared a Good laugh doing it. Bernies personal hero is the Lone Ranger As played by Clayton Moore on the old television series. Why because Bernie said he does no to drink smoke cuss or shoot to kill. And he a a Good Friend. A. Life was hard for Bernie. Lie do a lot of t hings or make a lot of daily decisions Lor himself. He needed help in paying Bills and shopping. But he1 worked hard to be Independent. It was something he wanted to do. He said to prove to other people a those who shared his problem and those who did no to that it was possible for someone like him to live alone. To care for himself. To be a productive member of society. To be a Good Friend. After the Story appeared in the local newspaper my trips to the Public Library were marked by a greeting from behind a shelf of books. It was always done in this terrible John Wayne voice and it always made me smile. It was Bernie of course. No heroes in America Hogwash americans just done to know where to look. Feedback what would you like to see the military do differently this year spec. Timothy brow 4th in 43rd air defense arty Giessen depot Germany id like to see them improve the. Handling of families and soldiers during pcs movements. Nancy craves civilian drug and. Alcohol. Program coordinator Munich Germany the army needs to quit changing rules a they be been changing the rules of operation every year for the past five or six years in be been work Imp. Spec. Curtis Mitchell ill co 66th military intelligence brigade Munich Germany id like to see them Gulf crisis Over with solved in a a peaceful manner. And lower the cutoff score for administrative specialist his military occupational specially Sherry Jackson family member living in Fossen Buseck Germany raise their pay instead of the people up there in Congress. They re the ones Over there fixing to fight a War. Staff sgt. David Webb 66lh military intelligence brigade Munich. Germany id like to Sec them promote More people. It seems that a going Down. Co Dpi Ltd to by thus and stripes sniff january 13. .1991 sunday Page 3
