European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 13, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Edible presents the final phase Erma Bombeck Universal press Syndicate a s i ran the vacuum sweeper around the remains of our Christmas tree sucking up another 20 pounds of dry a. Needles my eyes glanced at the pile of gifts still on display. None of them was for me. That is because there Are plateaus of gift giving and sadly i have reached the last one. As a teen Ager i was the recipient of peer pressure gifts. Every item someone gave me had to be exactly like the one received by my friends. We All wore the same sweater carried the same style handbag read the same novels listened to the same albums and wore the same id  one got glasses we All rushed out and got glasses too whether we needed them or not. On Christmas Day wed Call one another and listen to the Litany of presents. At the end of the conversation wed answer a me too and hang up. During the Early married years i received luxury loot. They were things i  begin to afford to buy myself. There were perfumes lounging pyjamas joke blouses that had to be dry cleaned Bubble Bath pellets and anything that Wasny to plastic and showed Spaghetti stains. I can to remember the exact Day i a had everything a but my family and friends knew. It was the silliness period. One year i received pig presents. Everything had a pig face on it. Another year it was cats a cat aprons cat memo pads cat calendars cat clocks cat sweaters and cats that held recipes. I have now reached the age of food. I figured out food is Given to people who have nothing else left in life to look Forward to. You done to go anywhere to Wear expensive jewelry. You re too tired to dust Nice things. And you Wear one dress. Everything else you Squirrel away in drawers. Food is perishable so it forces you to use it up. When someone asks a what did you get for Christmas a i take him to the Kitchen and fling open the refrigerator doors. I have enough Fruitcake to build a Patio 40-by-80 feet enough cheese to fill a hot tub with Fondue and a Supply of cookies and Candy that would keep me wired for the rest of my life. In the pantry Are giant tins of Popcorn Wicker baskets filled with designer Mustard smoked hams and sausages. I will receive a fruit of the month and a dessert of the month for the next year. A a. A. I called my Best Girlfriend in Ohio to see what she got. She received three fruitcakes a wheel of cheese cookies Candy Popcorn designer Mustard smoked Ham and sausages. A i said a me  we have come full  manner Judith. Martin United features d ear miss manners a one of my Clos Cost friends assured me on the morning of a party that she and her husband would be there. Not Only did she not attend but she did not Call me beforehand to say she could not make it nor has she called me since to apologize for not coming or at least to explain Why they chose not to attend. Am i supposed to Call her and ask what happened or am i to wait until she contacts me i do not know what to say and i am somewhat angry and Hurt at her Lack of communication. She is very etiquette oriented and would raise a Royal fuss if i did this to her. Gentle Reader a what is your friends idea of etiquette a a you have to treat me with consideration but i am exempt from inconvenient rules miss manners docs not wish her any ill but feels obliged to Point out that Only tragedy would save her reputation for being polite. If she Calls eventually to say a i feel dreadful about having missed your party but my Uncle in Law had a heart attack that very afternoon and we rushed off to the Airport to get to him As quickly As possible a miss manners will allow her to continue to consider herself  you might want to Speed or suggest this solution by calling her and saying a a in be been frantic Horoscope for the week of Jan. 13 a Capricorn dec. 21-Jan. 19 persistence is your Ace in the Hole. Buckle Down to work. Put superficial interests on hold. Done to ignore sound financial advice. Respect an elder s Wise words. A aquarius Jan. 20-feb. 18 Shine the spotlight on music. Be a doer instead of a viewer. Unfurl your imagination. Focus on sexual themes. Trust instincts Over rational thinking. Pisces feb 19-March 20 give your body a total rest. Done to blow minor flaws out of proportion. Use words to heal not Hurt Roll with punches in relationships. Old movies provide healthy escape. Aries March 21-april 19 you re cheerful and vibrant after a harrowing Holiday season. Spread the wealth among friends and entertain in elegant fashion. Watch business dealings. Taurus april 20-May 20 Home is where the heart is. Cool Heads in business Romance. Buy new books magazines and Art supplies. Let partner or spouse have the run of the House. Gemini May 21-june 20 Rise and Shine. Ward off grouches through emotional serenity. Create Strong incentives or goals. Unfinished business comes up. Do a lot of listening. Cancer june 21-july 22 put new life into your Domestic world. Pull up the shades open the windows. Big decisions demand close attention. With worry about you. What happened i expected you and had no word at All a so 1 had to assume the worst. I know you would t have disappeared like that without an explanation unless something dreadful had  then let her try to say a no i just did no to feel like attending your silly  dear miss manners a i ant an undergraduate at a Large University and have just started taking ballroom dancing lessons. As you know my generation was not brought up with any formal kind of dance and i feel ignorant about the etiquette. Who says a thank you at the  a dance a a is it always the male or always the female or is it the person who asked for the dance is it considered proper for the woman to do the asking gentle Reader a the person who requested the dance thanks the person who granted it. It is True that this used to be As Good As saying that the gentleman thanks the lady but miss manners has no objection to ladies asking gentlemen to dance provided they do so politely. A May i have this dance a is Correct a Marc you just going to stand there All evening like a Dummy or arc you going to come out on the floor with me a is not. Dear miss manners a if my teacher has different coloured socks should i Tell her or just ignore it. Gentle it Cader a miss manners docs not generally have the annoying habit of answering a question with a question but Here she makes an exception. She gently suggests that your answer is to be found in considering what could your teacher possibly do about the mismatched during school should you Call her attention to them. Take one  a time. Use common sense. Leo july 23-aug. 22 be aggressive in personal affairs. Romance is everywhere flirtations prove fruitful. Don t let finances get out of control. Be sensitive to needy family members. Virgo aug. 23-sept. 22 creative juices Are flowing. New business projects should be launched you be done the research no need for secret plans1 and Maneu vers. Avoid spicy foods and Rich deserts. Libra sept. 23-oct. 22 focus on imprinting your own lifestyle. Why get Hung up on others perceptions of you build needed momentum for career goals turn the tables on self doubt. Scorpio oct. 23-nov. 21 you re hearing tall tales these Days. Don t be hoodwinked. Penetrate mysteries yith Sherlock Holmes like Confidence. Make Long distance  nov. 22-dec. 20. Stop look and listen. Valuable information arrives from strangers As Well As friends. Summon extra willpower to conquer old f ears. Watch . Copley news service january 13,1991 sunday to plus Page 19