European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - July 7, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse Continued from Png 4 Quot one of the surprises is the Trust the germans have in each other Mike said. Quot they Trust peo Pic not to get their goods. You do that in the Petty Pilicer 2nd class tried to make sure nothing surprised her Mother when she arrived for a visit in Naples Italy. Quot when i first arrived in Naples i wrote a lot of letters Home. In them i told my Mother about the traffic and Many of the other things that Are differ Cut Here a the Lincoln neb., resident said. Quot i told her Naples was a lot like new York Campbell encouraged her Mother who had travelled extensively in the states but never overseas. To bring a companion along. Quot i knew i take leave for the whole three weeks she planned to be Here so it would be really important for her to have someone else to see the area with a said Campbell. While Campbell was working her Mother and Friend went on trips organized by the base Tours office or shopped in Campbells neighbourhood. Quot As Long As they were alone together they a fend for themselves a Campbell said. Quot but if i was there they a let me handle it All. Campbell said of her Mother a she was like a child who wanted me to Lead her around and show her when Ensign Kim Dixon smother and aunt v in Rota Spain her two guests reactions to Europe were different. Dixon smother from the St. Louis area had visited Germany and France in 1985, but her aunt had never been overseas. A a couple of times she actually said a this Isnit like Wright City to a a Dixon mused about her aunt. Many first time travellers to Europe Arentt sure what to expect. Ronnie Collins visiting his sister command sgt. Maj. To Luciano in Wiesbaden Germany was eager to Sec every sight. Quot i want to get on the autobahn and cat some German food a Collins said. Quot coming from Alabama to Here is a big change for a country boy like me. 1 think everything will be even an commercials yes at least for Vanessa Haynes. _ a amps Dave Casey ran Stein s Leo Hayden right and dad Byron. Quot some of those Are a trip Quot said Haynes who travelled from Carrollton. Ala., to visit her brother s family at Rhein main a Germany. Quot now that a a tape i need a a tape of those commercials to take Home Quot to entertain her nonmilitary friends. A the one with the crazy Guy trying to paint and tape his License plates is hilarious a she said. When staff sgt. Diana Brown and her husband Dale recently hosted visitors who came to attend their daughters school graduation in Baumholzer they found themselves having to explain Many of the an commercials to their guests. A but they loved the commercials a said Diana whose brother Tony Raics and Cousin Angela Hickman flew in from Cleveland. Quot you know the one bout the lady getting ready to pcs and she had to say goodbye to All her stuff a you thought she was talking to a person and at the end they show All her stuff and the Moose head they really liked that contributing to this report Start writers Amy Gieszler Jones and Meridith Winder in the United kingdom Bureau and Gary Miller in the Mediterranean Bureau. A the Long wait for Detroit flight into Frankfurt spec. Matthew Paton and his Wile Heidi eagerly awaited the arrival of his father and Stepmother at the Frankfurt Airport. Heidi a hands squeezed Matthews Arm As they gazed at the automatic doors that separate the Luggage and customs areas from the arrival area. A this dad is coming Here because he has to see his son after a War to make sure lie s Heidi said. Quot when he Matthew came Home from saudi his dad said he would be Here within a month. Its been seven joking aside Heidi wondered aloud what could be taking their visitors from Detroit so Long to conic through those doors. Quot Quot in a really anxious to see them again a she said. A they Call us once a week. We re really this would be Stepmother Georgina s first trip to Germany. Heidi already had plans to give her a taste of German culture. A a in be got my Salt Nita i m Home and in a going to make Spitzli Home made egg noodles a she said. Robert Matthews dad was making his second visit to Germany and probably looking Forward to hitting the autobahn. ,. That was obvious from the time the fathers of Matthew and Heidi visited a few years ago. The two dads made like rally speedsters. A this did loves driving in Germany a Heidi said. It All started on the last visit when Heidi a father insisted that Robert buckle in behind the wheel in Spile of the fact that Robert had no idea where he was. A my dad said a it does no to matter. Just get in the car and ill Tell you where to go a Quot Heidi recalled. A since that lie says lie la never drive the same a Matthew added. A Lairean parental visit not exactly child Spaythe Hartford courant there is a lot of potential for tension when an adults parents come to stay for a spell. The interaction can show How Well you grown ups Are growing up. A a even if both generations get along reasonably Well there Are issues that often need tending says Suzanne Hanna a professor of family therapy who specializes in issues of the elderly at the University of Louisville in Kentucky. Visits in a grown child a Home a accentuate whether a family has been a bloc to shift roles generation ally a Hanna says. Ideally the elders have relinquished control and authority to their children. They will have acknowledged their children a ability to run a household. And the grown children will accept that responsibility not expecting the parents to automatically a take care of them again especially if the parents have declined physically. But it does no to always work out that Well. Common for example is the older Mother who takes Over. A some mothers Are so used to being the manager and director that when they come into their daughter or songs Home they re still Likely to think that they should be doing that a anything from jumping up and doing the dishes without waiting to be delegated to or coming right in and cleaning the House Quot Hanna says. This kind if help is delightful if everyone is Happy to give and receive it. But if its perceived As or meant As criticism the Seething starts. In some families children have changed so much in adulthood that their parents find it hard to relate to them. Hannah a father for example is a working class immigrant who encouraged his children to be successful. Now that they Are he finds their More sophisticated lifestyles intimidating. Then there a the advice. Struggling Young parents a and which parents Arentt a do not want criticism. In most cases thello not want advice from grandparents. And vice versa. In families with a history of not getting along or communicating a visit will dredge up old troubles issues Best dealt with in family therapy Hanna says. Whatever the issues Hanna says Quot tension is never Best dealt with by escalating the tension. So we look at How to help people work through the tension and break it up. And that a lot of times requires some personal work in order to take it less seriously and then to take some initiative in Hanna suggests that visit talk about expected difficulties a gee dad you might really be Surprise Jiow different things Are Here. I guess you la find in a not your shy scared Little girl or a a in a really worried that when you folks come to visit you might be really uncomfortable with How i Deal with Jonathan. You la have to be patient with humor is absolutely the Best Way to Deal with tension Hanna says. If trouble starts during the visit make a joke whatever kind you can gel away with a mom now that in a 45, in Man old lady too and i get to give the a a its great if the younger adults can get the older ones to reminisce about what it was like when the parents were their age. A what was it like when you were 35 and had to take care of Little kids All Day Long a a a sense of camaraderie and understanding can develop a Hanna says. A a in be found that even As a therapist when people Are expressly coming for my advice Many times in be made the mistake of giving advice that was not solicited by the client. Most people Are not receptive to unsolicited advice unless they be already decided they want help from the outside on an ii grandparents feel they must give advice a they should look for a signal a Hanna says. Quot ii they done to gel that then clearly they should ask whether the advice is 7. 1991 sunday a Page
