European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - July 7, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Last laugh baby Boomers pushing to turn on the heatwave Barr Knight Ridder newspapers chances arc that you Tike so Many of us in the �?T90s, Are growing older. If so you la want to pay close attention to an alarming Issue that has been raised by Alert Reader Jeri Lawrenz who lives in Lodi wis. Actual civic slogan a Home of Susie the Duck. Jeri sent in a Brief item from the Wisconsin state journal which states a baby Boomers menopause approaches. There arc More than 35 million women Over age 50 in this country and that number is expected to top 50 million by 2010, when More women will be experiencing menopause than at anytime in  most of us upon Reading this item would probably have made some remark such As a huh a then moved on to something that seemed More newsworthy such As the lengthy feature on Madonna that All . Newspapers Are required by Law to print every Day. But Jeri Lawrenz is not a most of  she look the time to discuss this item with her husband Leon who had an alarming thought. As Jeri explains it a a Leone a concern is somewhere Between now and 2010, when All these women including myself begin having a hot flashes a what effect this will have on global wanning melting the Polar ice Cap the greenhouse effect Etc. He does no to think they should print these Little a news items without further explanation or facts. Perhaps you can research this article and put my husbands mind at  it just so happens that the main reason i got into the newspaper business aside from the fact that the dress code permits a even encourages Mayonnaise stains is that i like to do in depth research. Sparing no expense i began my investigation by contacting Doris the office manager where i work who knows everything. Doris immediately confirmed that menopause could cause global warming. She said that she personally became so warm on occasion that she could have converted either Polar ice Cap to steam. This sconces fairly conclusive but with a Story of this magnitude top journalists such As myself and Bob Woodward like to have two reliable sources. So i called my wife and explained leones theory to her and she explained it to the Man who is fixing up our bedroom closets and he said quote a my wife is going through it now and believe me its not pretty a so we seem to have an overwhelming Load of evidence pointing to the conclusion that hot flashes emitted by millions of baby Boom women entering menopause will indeed cause the Polar ice Caps to melt by the year 2010. This must be True because you re Reading it in a newspaper. Also it just occurred to me that there will be increasing amounts of chemicals in the atmosphere caused by millions of baby Boom men using epoxy based hair Spray to hold their few remaining hairs in place Over their expanding Bald spots which have already reached the same combined total acreage As Wyoming. So we arc forced to conclude that Earth is at peril. You should write to your elected representatives and demand that congressional hearings be held by the Senate special subcommittee on hormone can cams chaired by sen. Edward Kennedy. If enough of us Are willing to a get involved a this Issue could wind up costing millions of tax dollars including a Large Federal Grant for Leon \ while we re talking about aging id like to ads amps Sharon Kilday dress the topic of How to pay compliments As the general population gels older. Our role Model Here is a Man named Ray who works in my office. Recently an attractive writer named Marjorie who a 50 but looks like she a in her 30s, came into the office after a Long absence and Ray in a sincere Effort to let her know How Good she looked said quote a Marjorie have you had plastic surgery a Marjorie was so flattered that she was unable to speak for several minutes. And no wonder. In analysing rays thoughtful compliment we can see that it is nearly perfect the Only possible flaw being the part that comes after a Marjorie a Ray probably would have been Wiser to substitute another ending. For example he could have said a Marjorie the capital of Kansas is Topeka a or a Marjorie certain squids attain a length of 230 feet a men like to be flattered too. A Good example of a thoughtful compliment for an aging male is a Bob you did a Nice Job of evenly spacing your 17 strands of hair across the top of your head a yes sensitivity will be the key As we All continue to grow older at an increasingly High rate of Speed. Sensitivity awareness and understanding. And powerful air conditioning. Schwadron Usa flt or Quot they re from your employees. Get Well cards outnumber stay sick cards two to  k 11 1 1 \ movie bombs of 1990 1. Havana a lost $35 million 2. Air America a lost $25 million 3. Mountains of the Moon a lost $23.3 million 4. The two Jakes a lost $20 million 5. Stanley amp Iris a lost $20 million a 6. Texas Viii a lost $18.5 million 7. Gremlins ii a lost $17 million 8. The desperate hours a lost $16.6 million 9. Bonfire of the vanities a lost $15 million 10. Loose cannons a lost $14 million source Baseline ii inc. Report gone with the wind fates 1. Clark Gable a died of heart attack age 59 2. Vivien Leigh died of tuberculosis age 54 3. Leslie Howard Down died age 54 4. Margaret Mitchell author a run Over by car died age 48 source Scarlett. Rhett and a cast of thousands civilian plane shot s. 0 u c its v cafe o o o u d. A % Titus Berlin German Page 24 a sunday july 7. 1991