European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - July 7, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse Jqeb0b goes to the drive in Stony silence of film a a fkr several of my cousins arc movie stars now. They got parts in the new Oliver Stone movie they re making in Dallas called Juk. Oliver refuses to reveal what the letters Juk stand for and if you ask him for a copy of the script he sends six Security guards to your House with riders on the storm blaring out of their ghetto blasters and they wont leave until you sign a statement that says a i will never reveal what is in Oliver stones movie even after the movie comes in other words Juk does no to stand for a just for there a some heavy Security surrounding this project and Oliver a a Little Touchy on the subject. First he told the press a a in a not saying it is a conspiracy theory movie and in a not saying its not a conspiracy theory movie. Is this room bugged i done to think the whole Story has been told but after All we re just making movies Here. Arc you Cia i done to think this is a valid Issue to be discussed in the press. Marina Oswald a Kab Contact has however been following me for 12 i happen to have opinions on this subject mostly because my Cousin Wilbur was hired As an extra to stand in Dealey Plaza carrying an umbrella that fired Poison darts. Then there was my Cousin Horace who was part of the 13-Man sub machine gun squad concealed behind the Grassy Knoll during the filming of the assassination scene. Most of my information comes from Blanche Verona my sister in Law who was hired on the Spe Cial effects Crew. It was her Job to wire Jackie Kennedy a Pillbox hat with a miniature spy camera. I done to mean to say this Guy is paranoid but of the 27,000 people who have come to Dallas Over the last 30 years trying to prove conspiracy theories Oliver Stone May be the no. 1 loony in the bin. Remember the British Guy who spent two years getting permission to dig up Lee Harvey Oswald a body so he could Check his Teeth Well this movie is evidently weirder than that. First its based on a Book by Jim Garrison the former new Orleans District attorney who has done nothing for the last 25 years but invent new conspiracy theories including one where Kennedy was killed by elephant handlers in amp Bailey circus because he Wasny to doing enough to protect the endangered gorillas of Borneo. Next he hires Kevin Costner to be Jim Garrison in the movie let me repeat main role in the movie Juk is not Juk. Its not lbs. Its not governor Connally or Jackie or chief Justice Warren or Lee Harvey Oswald or Jack Ruby. The main role in the movie is this Flake from naw Luns. If you asked Oliver the Only reason we think Jimbo Garrison is a Flake is that he has been per a prison stories rates one half Star. A a Secu cd by the Media conspiracy the cuban conspiracy the Fri conspiracy the Cia conspiracy the conspiracy of the doctors at Parkland Hospital the conspiracy of All the employees at the Texas school Book depository and now the conspiracy of All guilty texans to Whitewash what their state to the president. We have a few the comics. Aboul Juk ourselves. It stands for just full of Krap. And speaking of american history scholarship. Prison stories women on the inside just came out on video and i know what you re thinking. Here goes Joe Bob reviewing some kind of indoor Bull stuff socially responsible Home . Cable mind junk. But i have an excuse a namely that i am the Only person in recorded history who has seen every single women behind bars movie Ever made and therefore its my duty to humanity to record this one in the books. Its the first women in prison flick Ever made completely by women All the male characters arc responsible for is getting the women into prison in the first place and its also the first women in prison picture where All the prisoners keep their blouses on at All times throughout the picture. Hated it. Its one of those anthology deals with three stories in one movie. In the first one Rae Dawn Chong gets pregnant while she a in jail and starts Selling drugs for a fat mama so she can get proper Day care for the fetus. Talk about your feminist plot run amok she gets thrown in jail because of a Man then a Man gets her pregnant then the corrupt male guards make it impossible to get into the prison Day care program a and so this lady the daughter of or. Drumhead Chong of drive in legends Choc cd and Chong Fame starts dealing Coke. Sorry. The next one is better. Rachel Ticotin of total recall Fame is doing fairly hard time on a drug rap and she has to leave her son in the care of her sister Talisa Soto of License to kill Fame an before you know it the Little Yard monster is running Down to the Corner and doing drug deals for a Guy named Montoya because he does no to think mama loves him. You starting to see a theme Here finally we got Lolita Davidovich As a battered wife who blew her husband away when he beat her up one time too Many and then went after her helpless daughter. She a coming up for a parole hearing but she decides she might be better off in jail a a Safe in the Cage a she Calls it. At least in the menus prison movies like Leon Isaac Kennedy in Penitentiary the Guy has to do something criminal to end up in prison. I think the Point of this Deal is that women would never be in prison if it weren to for men screwing up their Heads. In other words. Politically Correct fun. Save it. No breasts. No dead bodies. See what happens when you let women direct strip search. One cat fight. Cell wrecking. Wife abuse. Gratuitous inmate rapping. Crack fun. Drive in Academy award nominations for the three directors Penelope Spheeris Donna Deitch and Hoan Micklin Silver for actually getting Home . To Joe Bob Briggs creators Syndicate put up the Money for this. One half Star. _ Joe Bob says. Well you release of the week pucker up and bark like a dog 1w0. With a title like this who could guess its a lame love Story Between a sensitive Painter and a sensitive actress trying to sort things out in modern Al Lay i hate sensitive. The Best reason to watch it is for the cameos of Paul Bartel As a a movie director doing a Shower scene Wendy o. Williams As a sex Holic biker she says the title line and Robert Culp yes i said Robert Culp As a from from Art dealer. Six breasts. No dead bodies. Starring Jonathan Gries and i a Zane. Three bobs advice to the hopeless communist Alert the Indiana department of transportation is routing a new truck bypass through the Decatur ind drive in and refusing to pay for it to fix it up or to allow the owner to buy a new one because they say the land is a better suited for farming than for movies and that a the drive in is old and unneeded and be dear Job being a retired Prysby clergy Type Guy who now can sit on my Back porch Here they Call it a a a deck a but you know about the Southi pose to you two questions 1. Why Are there so Many Good looking women around and so Little Good conversation like Medicine a dying Art ? 2. Why is it that the institution of marriage has lasted 10,000 years answer polygamy and adultery. _ truly . Ben Sissel . Wilmington . Dear Ben a the answers Are. 1. The ugly ones Are great at conversation. 2. The ugly ones insist on it. Dear Joe Bob my wife gets a kick out of prison movies yet when we go to rent them for some reason our video store does no to have a separate Section for prison movies. Why there can to be drama new releases adventure horror and prison categories i will never know. Do you have a list of your favourites regards Jim Shaw Louisville by. Dear Jimbo chained heat Reform school girls red heat the Linda Blair version Nightmare the big doll House caged heat Concrete Jungle and Cool hand Luke. Did she marry you because you time or she marry you because marriage is similar to doing time to discuss the meaning of life with Joe Bob or to get free Uris in the mail and his world famous we Are the wend newsletter write Joe Bob Briggs p o. Box 2002, Dallas Texas 75221, or Send him a fax at 214 368 2310 july 7, 1991 sunday a
