European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - March 1, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Be our guest hearing knocks from customers Survey forms Darryl r. Wishard it can put the fear of god in the Heartiest of the men and women who serve. No in a not talking about the fog of War or the brutality of its aftermath. In a talking about the dreaded customer satisfaction Survey forms. Because the Gulf War increased the demands in the service areas of our military communities customer satisfaction Survey forms have been sprouting All Over Europe quicker than fungus in a High school gym Shower. Whether your Community has implemented a system of shooting stars Happy sad faces thumbs up or assorted foul words not suitable for prime time Reading we in the service sector fear for our livelihood if one negative card enters the wrong hands most notably our Bosses. Don t get me wrong. We need these customer satisfaction Survey forms to keep the Quality of our fill in the Blank with your service area services at its Peak. Why we in the services sector this includes the commissary cafes housing finance Library Legal services medical services chaplain scr ices dry cleaning services and if you re not included on this list add your service now Lack the Competition that gives the private sector service Industry its Edge. Thus when we lose that Edge or when we go Over the Edge times vary depending on Peak stress hours in your service area your input helps us see our mistakes Correct them and regain the Edge. Granted we in the service sector appreciate your input. Yes we sweat bullets when you lunge for the customer satisfaction Survey forms strategically located behind the dying spider Plant and the 2-Day-old cup of Coffee after we Tell you that a. Your household goods have been accidentally shipped to Singapore and Are now on display in big Joe a used furniture Emporium. B. Government quarters will not be available until after the turn of the Century Well past your pcs ets and Deros dates even though we re turning Over 20,000 housing units to local National control this week. C. All registers arc open and All service personnel Are on duty even though you spend nearly one third of every weekend sleeping and the other two thirds of every weekend in line at the pm and the commissary. D. In a sorry but no appointments Are available with your attorney doctor this week to discuss your divorce Gall bladder because he she is at a conference at choose a european resort. Some of your comments and suggestions Are used to help improve services. However comments such As the following do not improve services and can cause serious Intra office ribbing a. Or. X at the help a self  really a Sasquatch dressed in civilian clothing and has the mannerisms of Genghis Khan. B. Even though i waited six hours for service is. Y at my pc was quite Friendly helpful and took great pleasure in informing me that my orders for my dream assignment in Hawaii had been revoked and i would receive orders for a 36-month unaccompanied tour at the Antarctic warfare research facility. When customer satisfaction Survey forms cannot solve your problems the next weapon in thetus Tom or Arsenal is the stars and stripes readers action line. First in a not quite sure Why tire stars and stripes Calls it a Quot line when its really a column always consists of questions and answers consisting of More than a Mere line and has no toll free number to Call. Second Why do the responding agencies always begin their answers with a superfluous Throat Clearing phrase like a thank you for this Opportunity to answer your question concerning. The status of the sole surviving son daughter separation actions under a 635-200 As it applies to the rules and regulations of flying your pet Chinchilla via the military Airlift command on your next extended try tour if i Ever get the Chance to answer a readers action line column question i Promise that i wont answer your question like a lawyer even though i am one. Lessons Learned from this column first if you have a constructive suggestion or comment about services let us know. Done to be afraid to Tell us face to face. There a  for improvement however if you feel the need to use a customer satisfaction Survey form be our guest. Second if you have a question ask it. If we can to answer it Well find someone who can. And thank you for allowing me the Opportunity to address this Issue concerning. Cape. Darryl r. Wishard works at the Legal Center in Hanau Ger a Nany. Send in your column plus a photo of yourself to be our guest sunday Magazine the stars and stripes Apo 09211 or Postrach 11 14 37, d-6100 Darmstadt 11, Germany. Opening laugh 80rer Basel Switzerlan i copyrights 1992. Cartoonists amp writers Syndicate contents from the cover .4-6 the Battle of the waste. Sidelights.7 Andy Rooney seeks the historic truth. Odds amp ends .8 Cindy Chambers at Home with Disney. In tune.9 Little interview with Kevin Kline. This week s films.10-11 Chuck Vinch Quot Cape fear Quot grabs you. Complete cafes circuit listings. Television listings .12-14 local Cable and satellite schedules. Home entertainment .15 Quot Don t Tell mom the Babysitter s dead on video. On Parade .16 looking for a Lucky Princess. Voices. 17 Linda Ellerbee on the submerging of girls. Words and wit.18 James Kilpatrick spins through meanings. Books.19 Boris Yeltsin trying to break russians iceberg. Classified ads .20-23 last laugh .24 Dave Barry has the answers. Promo get How Madeleine Stowe ready for new film. Page 16. Sunday is a weekly supplement of the stars and stripes editor Bucky Fox Art direction Peter Jaeger production Susie Stonum Kelly Quinn editorial assistance Marian Hamilton Louis Pierce Page 2 a sunday March 1. 1992