European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - March 1, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse Words and wit politicians and reporters learn to spin the record James j. Kilpatrick the writers Art Jody Powell when he was press Secretary to president Carter once explained his Job. A my responsibility a he said a is never unintentionally to mislead exactly so. By the same Token a writers obligation is never unintentionally to offend his readers. A but there Are times let it be confessed when every writer wants intentionally to offend. For this purpose one needs a Supply of spin words. The adjective a spin a i believe comes from the Pool Hall where masters of the Cue learn in their Era Dies How to put a Little spin on a Ball. The shot does not go straight toward its object. It sort of. Curves. So it is with the reply churlish the reproof valiant and the counter Check quarrelsome. There Are ways to be insulting without being overtly rude. Our purpose let us suppose is to describe a person in terms of his or her avoirdupois. We could say bluntly that Reginald is fat and be done with it. Writers must learn to use spin. That is Why we have Roget a thesaurus and the Rodale synonym finder. Here we find the tools for putting a touch of spin on an insult. We could say with a Friendly touch merely that Reginald is Well stocked or perhaps mat he is simply overweight. We Are still being Nice. Reginald is Chubby or even Stout. Now for a Little More spin. The gentleman is portly perhaps or Bay windowed Beefy plump round or rotund. He is Fleshy Bulky massive or ponderous. Forgetting spin we could be really mean to Reggie. The fellow is flabby Paunchy Beer bellied big bellied pot bellied. He is corpulent. And for the Crusher Reginald has turned blubber in recent years. Thus Are spin words put to use. Like sweat shirts they come in sizes Small medium and Large. They Are constantly employed in the world of politics. The word Quot politician Quot itself carries a curl of the lip. Liberals i.e., flaming liberals May usefully be identified As left wingers. Libertarians Are generally far out. Conservatives come in four varieties moderate super Ultra and Arch. At one time reporters for the Washington Post regularly described sen. Jesse Helms As an i complained to the posts executive editor Ben Bradlee saying that his reporters were editorializing the news. After All i said a a Archt carries heavy overtones of extreme villainy. He agreed and told his reporters to Stop it. They knocked it off for a while but since bends retirement old a a Archt has reappeared. During the heyday of sen. Harry Byrd in Virginia his friends spoke fondly of the Byrd organization. To the senators enemies it was the Byrd machine. Editorial writers for the Wall Street journal have the expertise of Minnesota fats. When the journal comments on politics in California we Are going to hear about a legislature controlled by a speaker Willie Browne a in the language of spin we May speak of a Union Leader or a Union Boss. The Boss exploits the working stiff. The industrialist fills the corporate coffers with Lucre that is filthy Lucre. Or self. Do not forget a reporter for the new York times recently wrote coolly of such conservatives As Dick Viguerie and Howard Phillips who flutter on the right Wing of the Republican party. A in 1988, conservatives of their ilk supported such ill fated candidates As Jack Kemp and Pat in Academia such nouns As pedant pedagogue and educationist carry a Nice spin. A faintly Nasty impression May be left by describing a Lover of grammar As a Purist. A woman verifier May be neatly when a primary loss is a loss is a win Tony Kornheiser Iam very confused about what happened in the new Hampshire presidential primaries. Two Republican candidates ran. Both claimed Victory. Five democratic candidates ran. All claimed Victory. They came. They saw. They Concord. That san inside new Hampshire joke. Having worked for years As a sportswriter i consider myself something of an expert about what constitutes a Victory. In my experience the Only one who is entitled to claim Victory is the one who actually wins. For example orioles 7, Yankees 4. The Winner orioles. The loser Yankees. It does no to matter that the Yankees got More runs than they were expected to get. Or that they got More runs than they got the Day before. Only the orioles can claim Victory. Reality what a concept. Now let s review. Orioles 7, Yankees 4. The win Ner still orioles. The loser still Yankees. If the Yankees tried to claim Victory if they did what pols do and hired a a spin doctor to try to spread the impression that they won wed laugh in their faces. Wed say Quot hey pal look at the scoreboard. You lost. So go take the Gas editors note a a spin is a complicated political strategy of presenting As fact something that technically might not be entirely accurate. Such As Quot a dog is a As a sportswriter i look at new Hampshire and think that Bush and Tsongas won and everybody else lost. I find it hard to comprehend How finishing third with 12 percent of the vote can be construed As a Victory of awesome humongous proportions Hove stupid of me. Pat a a in a not Baring my Teeth in a smiling honest Buchanan claimed a huge Victory after getting 37 percent of Republican votes. Attempting to rub his 37 percent in everybody a eyes Buchanan prayed a when we started we were at Zero in the polls a like this could Only happen to him and or. De. Everybody starts at Zero. The Only people who stay at Zero Are the Denver Broncos. And Buchanan hoisted a newspaper headline that said a read our Well read this thirty seven percent in a two Man race does no to feed the Monkey. On the other Side Bill Clinton claimed Victory with 26 percent. A i feel almost liberated in a sense a he actually said a kind of unequivocally in a manner of speaking As it were. Bob a i know it looks like a be soft White bulb but its my head Kerrey got a whopping 12 percent of democratic votes and bought a Tuxedo for the inaugural. He also actually said a i want to thank the people of new Hampshire for giving my Campaign a new whose new life or. Kevorkian a Tom Harkin who should be looking for an Amway distributorship claimed Victory with u percent Tell Page 18 a sunday March 1, 1992 Jody Powell As press Secretary in 1977. Skewered by identifying her As a poetess. Sometimes a Nice effect May be obtained by recourse to Mitotes. This is spin in reverse a she is not an unpleasant Quot he is certainly not a bad As Maryln Schwartz made Clear in her delightful primer for Southern Belles an apparent compliment May be deceptive. Thus a reference to a that Sweet Little thing in the Corners carries a touch of Lemon juice. The deadly line is a i done to know her Well but she seems perfectly the most effective spin words Are those that Are the least conspicuous. The trick is to slide a stiletto into someone a ribs with such Grace that he never feels a thing. Universal press Syndicate ing his supporters a nah you re wonderful a and presumably thanking each one by name a then flew to South Dakota where he actually announced a now the real Campaign what was he doing in new Hampshire for six months the Mambo so to be in step with the �?T90s, i too am claiming Victory in new Hampshire. I did better than anyone thought i got the same number of votes As Dwight d. Eisenhower and King Farouk combined. My own personal spin doctor or. Vinnie boo Batz said a my Guy comes out of nowhere and gets As Many votes As a popular sex president and a King those Drunken driving arrests you dug up they were from two years Agol ancient history. My Guy took your Best shot and he did no to go and now its on to Georgia where i will win again by sending this message a vote for me. In a going to say i won anyway a ill beat Tsongas easily. Did you know the e in Paul e. Tsongas stands for a a Efthemios try pronouncing that. No wonder he sounds like Elmer Fudd. I love this Guy because when he claims Victory nobody understands him. It Wasny to always like this. Losers used to admit losing. Napoleon did no to claim Victory after Waterloo. Just once id like to hear a candidate with 15 percent of the new Hampshire vote say a i wish to thank the people of the Granite state for shoving my head Down the toilet and Flushing twice. For months i slogged through your Snow. I ate at your cheesy diners. I talked to your stupid people with their Runny noses. I sat in your Chintzy living rooms with the hair grease on the doilies. I listened to your pretentious Yankee philosophy when All i really wanted to Tell you was what Birdbrain you were for living in a third rate woebegone hellhole like this. In a leaving on the first plane going creator Syndicate
