European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - June 7, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Odds amp ends miss m a us Judith Martin a Cir miss milliners we were staying it my Mother in Hiwa a House to celebrate her 76th Hir Llulu. When we settled Down for the night a i was in pain with a recently broken wrist a my Sisters in Law were playing the piano and singing. My husband asked his sister to Stop and told them the reason. They continued playing for about another half hour after which we did finally get to sleep. My husband was angry about what he Felt was i hospitality and we left Early the next morning. This has turned into a major family argument. My Mother in Law said she did not know of his request but would have told him that she was not going to have him dictate arrangements at her party. Would you please resolve this so that everyone will see reason gentle Render miss manners docs not have High Hopes of making people Sec reason if they do not consider the wishes of their Young and sick relatives As a sufficient reason for quieting Down. But then she does no to know the tone in which your husband made the request. Was it a a in a sorry but you know Brenda Isnit feeling Well and we be put the children to bed a would you mind awfully playing tomorrow when we can All enjoy it Quot or was it Quot will you two Cut out the noise before 1 come in and make you Quot the latter perhaps coming from a Long history of sibling squabbles could Well make a weary Mother announce that she makes the rules in the House. But As you rightly observe the concern now is to make up the quarrel. If you arc willing to be the. Grownup in the situation you could say a i m sorry if Joey snapped at you that night a i was feeling dreadful and i guess we were All a bit on  dear miss milliners because of finances and my Choice of location i have limited my upcoming wed Ding to 100 guests. This Means that some of my future Mother in Laws friends will be excluded. She is therefore insistent on including them in he rehearsal dinner at her Home the night before to which she has invited my bridesmaids a Only orally through me a and for w hich she has ignored the clergy entirely. She also will not permit me to Send wedding announcements to any of her friends. These Are Only four examples of her endless Lack of cooperation with my plans. I feel that rules of etiquette exist to protect All parties in such a situation and to prevent present anger and future discord. Am i justified in seeing these As breaches that put my parents and me in a very awkward situation gentle Reader there is an unpleasant implication that is preventing miss manners from entering sympathetically into the denunciation of your Mother in Law which you kindly pair with a declaration of belief in etiquette. It is that your Case for Courtesy seems to be built on the idea that you May blithely omit this lady a friends from wedding plans that you identify As yours rather than both families. It seems to miss manners that the awkwardness you describe stems from the Mother of the bridegroom trying to recover from this slight. The number of guests invited to a wedding is properly determined by the number of people each family wants to have present. Miss manners is not saying that a Large list cannot be argued Down but that those who Are truly close to the family should not be dismissed with the claim of saving Money. The proper procedure is to pick the guests first then figure out How much you can afford to serve them and where to entertain them. Surely anyone ready for marriage should understand that people Are More important than menus or venues. Or you could limit the wedding to family and throw related parties for friends. Had there been More sympathy shown All around it could have been suggested that your Mother in Law give a party after the wedding trip for example. Miss manners gathers that instead this lady was merely assigned the night before the wedding and is trying to make the most of it. For the Sake of future family relations she urges you to a Compromise and recognize the legitimacy of her wanting to include her friends without harping too much on the ways she has been trying to accomplish this.  f Cairo Syndicate horoscopes gemini May 21-june 20 avoid future Money woes by becoming More self reliant. You can t always depend on others. Cancer june 21-july 22 you re entering a yearly High Cycle go into it with Confidence and positive direction Leo july 23 aug 22 Lens is a great period Foi hibernating sit still in a quiet place and listen from within Virgo aug 23 a sept 22 turn your attention toward group activities get More involved and Enoy the team Effort Libra sept 23 oct 22 la it spotlight is on you now. Get ready to give a Star Quality performance Scorpio Loel 23 nov. 21 go a Good listener and people Are More willing to share their secrets of Success Sagittarius nov 22-Dee 20 now is the time to seek financial backing or Loans Progress is indicated m business Capricorn dec. 21-Jan. 19 cooperation is the tool of diplomats. Use it and watch your personal relationships flourish. Aquarius Jan. 20-feb. 13 it is time to do some House Leang. Get a big bag and toss away your excess. Pisces feb 19-March 20 your primary Job is to be Happy. Just be yourself without any imposed restrictions. Aries March 21-april 19 your extra sensitivity is a Blessing m disguise. Feel out trouble before it begins. Taurus april 20-May 20 concentrate on communications. Write letters and catch up on All forms of correspondence. Copley ice a a repacked to the Gills with stuff on eve of tour getaway Cindy Chambers now that we re nearing the end of our three year stay in Germany i know what you re wondering a Cindy have you noticed a resemblance Between your tour and the three hour tour taken by the people on Gilligan a Island a and in a glad you asked because As it happens quite a few similarities have occur cd to me lately. For instance 1. They brought Way too much stuff for a a three hours tour. Ginger alone brought every single item in the 1964 Frederick a of Hollywood clothing Catalon. We brought enough stuff to fill at least five apartments two storage rooms and several Duffel bags. Some of it we even unpacked. 2. Once on the Island they began accumulating More stuff thanks to the professors ingenuity. We be accumulated Many Many More things thanks to my greed. 3. We be started receiving radio Waves through our fillings just like Gilligan did in episode no. 8. Or maybe its the kid in the apartment above us playing guns a no roses at 75 decibels again. Its basically the same head pounding feeling. So besides wishing we could destroy a stereo without destroying our neighbourly relations we re also stuck with More stuff than we can possibly take with us when we move. For instance i remember desperately paying $200 for four transformers when we first moved Here. Yet at last count we had 15 of them. Did they Breed and now that we re leaving nobody wants to buy them. We be even offered Cash to take them off our hands. What would the professor do in a Case like this certainly not what we re actually doing which is to buy More stuff. True suddenly everything even vaguely european looks terrific to us. We went to the shop of one thousand clocks and bought its entire inventory. Dirndl Llandro figurines even ill fitting underclothes a nothing is too european to Purchase at the last minute. By the Way i have a couple of question for All you Gilligan a Island trivia buffs. First the obvious one if the professor could build a nuclear reactor out of Coconut shells How come he  make a boat capable of getting them off the Island second Why does the song say a a three hour tour a three hour tour my guess is that it was actually a six hour Lour. That would explain Why they brought twice As much stuff As they actually needed. I just wish i had an excuse like that. Cindy Chambers Isa military family member in Schweinfurt  k 11 i i \. ? what a Aldaits of seven places Are called 1. Del mar Calif. A Del martians 2. Accident my. A accidentals 3. Troy . A trojans 4. Erie a. A Erie ites 5. Medicine hat Alberta a hatters 6. Moose jaw Saskatchewan a Moose Javins 7. Galesburg Iii. A Gale burgers source what do you Call a person from. Page 10 a sunday be d Dud