European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - June 7, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Men is. Women in the sport of communication Dave Barry today a topic for Guys is communicating with women. If there a one thing that women find unsatisfactory about Guys a and i base this conclusion on an extensive scientific study of the pile of cosmopolitan magazines when i get my haircut a it is that Guys do not communicate enough. This problem has Arisen in my own personal relationship with my wife Beth. Ill be Reading the newspaper and the phone will ring. Ill answer it listen for 10 minutes hang up and resume Reading. Finally i3cth will say a who was that Quot and ill say a Phil won Kerman s  Phil is an old Friend we Haven t heard from in 17 years. And Beth will say a Well Quot and ill say a Well what a and Beth will say a what did she say a and ill say a she said Phil is Fine a making it Clear by my tone of voice that although i do not wish to be rude i am trying to read the newspaper Here and i happen to be right in the Middle of an important panel of Calvin and Hobbes. But Beth ignoring this will say a a that Sall she said Quot and she will not let up. She will continue to ask District attorney style questions forcing me to recount the conversation until she a satisfied she has the entire Story which is that Phil just got out of prison after serving a sentence for a murder he committed when be became a drug addict because of the guilt he Felt when his wife died in a Freak submarine Accident while Phil was having an affair with a nun but now he sail straightened out and has a Good Job As a trapeze artist and is almost through with the surgical part of his sex change and just became happily engaged to marry a prominent member of the new kids on the Block so in other words he is Fine which is exactly what i told Beth in the first place but is that enough no. She wants to hear every single detail. We have Good friends Buzz and Libby whom we see about twice a year. When we get together Beth and Libby always wind up in a conversation lasting several Days during which they discuss virtually every significant event that has occurred in their lives and the lives of those they care about sharing their deeper understanding of each other and a strengthening of a cherished Friendship. Whereas Buzz and i watch the playoffs. This is not to say Buzz and i Don t share our feelings. Sometimes we get quite emotional. A a that a not a foul a one of us will say. Or a a you re telling me that a not a foul i done to mean to suggest that All we talk about is sports. We also discuss openly and without shame what kind of pizza we need to order. We have a Fine time together but we done to have heavy conversations and sometimes after the visit is Over in a surprised to learn a from Beth who Learned it from Libby a that there has recently been some new wrinkle in buzzes life such As that he now has an artificial leg. For the record Buzz does not have an artificial leg. At least he did no to mention anything about it to me i have another Good Friend Gene who a going through major developments in his life. Our families recently spent a weekend together during which Gene and i talked a lot and enjoyed each others company immensely. In that entire time the most intimate personal statement he made to me is that he has reached level 24 of a video game called Arka noid. He has even seen the evil presence although he refused to Tell me what it looks like. We re very close but there is a limit. I know what some of you Are saying. You re saying my friends and i Are neanderthals and a lot of Guys Are different. This is True. A lot of Guys done to use words at All. They communicate entirely by nonverbal methods such As sharing bait. But my Point Guys is that you must communicate on a Deaper level with a woman particularly if you arc married to her. Open up. Done to assume she spa a _ or. A i do a win. Knows what you re thinking. This will be difficult for Guys at first so it would help if you women would try to a read Between the lines in determining what the Guy is trying to communicate Guy statement Quot do we have any Peanut butter a inner Guy meaning a i hate my  Guy statement Quot is this All we have Crunchy a inner Guy meaning Quot in a not sure i want to stay  if both genders work together you can have a happier healthier relationship but the responsibility rests with you Guys who must sincerely. Hey Guys in a  to you Here. Put Down the sports Section of hey Guys the Miami Herald  new pubic service from an radio an radio gives us the daily Dollar Exchange rate the weather forecast the local time and wow a Mew Public service from an radio military life in Europe by Charles Kaufman Friday 6 p.m.28 a sunday june 7, 1992