European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 13, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse Voices a Arkansas will soon get in step with dressing up Hillary Joe Bob Briggs goes to the drive in now that Hillary has become the first mama a lot of people in new York and Paris and Milan Are wondering what the Heck this Arkansas Power Dresser is Gonna Wear to the inaugural Ball. This is the time when normally the new woman of the hour makes a trip to fifth Avenue and hangs out with Isaac Mizrahi and Calvin Klein and Elsa Linsch and decides who gets to be her personal designer for the next four years. Its a tradition that got started when Jackie Kennedy picked Gucci a or was it that other Eye Talian Guy anyhow it does no to matter because the whole thing went downhill fast when lady Byrd a Floral print House coat Johnson came into office. But that a not the Point. In Case you did no to see the item somebody called up Hillary a spokeswoman and asked when she would be selecting her designer. The official answer a mrs. Clinton works with several designers Here in whoa Well. All right. Of. Fine. Lets see. In be spent a lot of time in Arkansas. Sure. Yeah. Its All coming Back to me now. So Here a a guide to Only the most prestigious Arkansas fashion designers. First we have Floradean Stubbs of Pine Bluff who just introduced her Spring line of Buffalo tent dresses a popular look in the Piney Woods this year. Many of them come with removable Bric a Brac on the bodice so that if the baby spits Gerber Apricot pudding on your Chest you can remove that part of the dress throw it in the Washer and have it Back on there by the time the evening Rolls around. Or perhaps Hillary would rather work with Peter a the Pigman Pettigrew of Jasper. Peter got his nickname when he started designing maternity dresses with red Arkansas razorback logos on them but he has matured As a designer in recent years. He is now responsible for More than 70 percent of the Little league uniforms in the Southern ozarks. Victor Ferragamo would be an interesting Choice. Victor runs a Gay leather bar and Rock jewelry souvenir stand on Highway 7 outside of hot Springs. He a especially Well known for his spiked and studded Barbecue aprons. Hillary a decision is expected to be announced this week when she addresses the Arkansas Institute of fashion manufacturers and bait shop owners now meeting in Fayetteville. Speaking of android zombies dressed in camouflage Universal Soldier just came out on video in time for people who Are so sick of Macaulay Culkin they Wanna see a Little flesh Fly before Christmas gets Here a and i have to say i never did quite go for this picture. There a something about it with Jean Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren playing these steroid androids who go around throwing grenades at each other that just never quite works. Maybe its that Wise cracking goofball female reporter ally Walker a who screws it up. Why have a woman in the flick when the whole plot is about techno zombies who can to fall in love in the first place or when Jean Claude grins does that mean he is falling in love forty dead bodies. Two breasts Jean Claude s. Four motor vehicle chases including one Hel Lacious bus Chase along the rim of the grand Canyon with multiple crashes. Exploding Motel. Giant syringe to the neck. Necklace of human ears. Gross out leg slip file Jean Claude Van Damme Dolph Lundgren and tiny Lister or. Star in Universal Soldier. Ing. Raw meat eating. Terrorist takeover of the Hoover dam. Android ground up in a wheat Thresher. Kung fun. Body bag fun. Drive in Academy award nominations for Dolph for wearing an Indian necklace in his ear and for saying a traitor a and Jean Claude for covering up his accent by acting like he a from Louisiana and for getting Nek kid and ordering a lady reporter to a look for something unusual a something three stars. Joe Bob says Check it bobs advice to the hopeless Victory Over communism the Ford Wyoming drive in in Dearborn mich., which has eight screens and a 2,400-car capacity had another record season under the management of Szurek recording the highest grosses since it opened in 1950. Ron Senkowski of Southfield reminds us that with eternal vigilance the drive in will never die. Dear Joe Bob b three and a half stars for child s play 21 really a Check it out a you say is there any movie sir you recommend i find your judgment to be As perverted As this latest movie you suggest we run out and see. Should i bring the family i highly respect your opinion so please Rush an answer. D. Leonard san Francisco dear d., there Are actually two films i would not recommend for the family a chorus line a Best horror film of 1985. Too intense for the squeamish. Betsy a wedding a around my House we Call it night of the living Ringwald. J.b., what a going on discovered some More weirdness in Carlisle a. At the All american Standard truck Stop route ii and interstate 80, there a a strip poker machine. You play poker with these video pictures of Chicks and if you win they shed the London fogs. I waited around to see it work but none of the truckers were Horny i guess that a weird too. Also saw an old Pepsi machine bottle Type that a Gas station had turned into a 24-hour Leech dispenser. Carl Leuschel Bowerston Ohio dear Carl thanks for the update on american culture. Makes sense to me. How Many times have you slapped your head at 3 . And said Quot of no i forgot to get leeches creators Syndicate to discuss the meaning of life with Joe Bob or to get free junk in the mail and Joe Bob s world famous we Are the wend newsletter write Joe Bob Briggs p 0 Box 2002, Dallas to 75221 Joe Bob s tax Ime is always open. 214 368-2310.hard to Swallow Packwood a excuse with alcoholism Linda Ellerbee in 1990, when she was running for governor of Texas Ann Richards a recovering alcoholic was asked repeatedly if during her drinking years she had used other drugs too. Someone a close Friend of Richards suggested she say in answer to that particular troublesome question Quot i done to remember a i was drunk at the Ann Richards did not say that because it would not have worked. It was not an answer and it was not an excuse. As Bob Packwood is about to learn. Ten women former Packwood staff members or lobbyists have accused the fifth term Republican senator from Oregon of uninvited and unwanted sexual advances Over the years. Before the election Packwood categorically denied the allegations but he has backed away from those denials. In two statements he has conceded that the unwanted advances could have taken place. Now sen. Packwood says he will seek a professional advice in connection with my use of a whether alcohol was a Factor in these incidents i not know a says Packwood. A in any event alcohol at Best can Only be a partial explanation not an True but you get the Strong feeling he a trying it out As an excuse anyway. And Why not the a alcoholism defense has been used by these Guys before although without much recent Success. In 1974, the chairman of the House ways amp Means committee Arkansas rep. Wilbur Mills Sas Hayed onto a Boston burlesque House stage with performer Fanny Fox a the Argentine alcohol said Mills caused him to have Little or no memory of that incident or of the incident several Days earlier when Fox took a late night plunge into the Washington tidal Basin. The alcoholism defense did not work. Mills resigned As chairman of his committee. He did not run for re election. In 1980, rep. Robert Bauman of Maryland blamed a acute alcoholism when he was arrested on charges of having solicited sex from a 16-year-old boy. Bauman ran for re election and was Defeated. Ronald Reagan a former aide Mike Deaver defended himself against criminal charges of lying by saying alcoholism impaired his memory about meetings and conversations he was asked about. The jury in . District court rejected Deavers alcohol defense. He was convicted fined $100,000 and sentenced to 1,500 hours of Community service. And still there Are politicians who believe booze to be the a old boys network equivalent of the insanity plea. Whenever you get in trouble blame it on alcohol. Everybody will understand. In a a recovering alcoholic and i understand perfectly. What Bob Packwood wants is for us to say a a that Sok. You were drunk when you harassed those women a meaning a a that Sok. You weren to that a what All alcoholics want people to say. Trouble is its not True. You Are responsible. What recovering alcoholics everywhere learn and learn to live with is the fact that while you re not responsible for getting the disease of alcoholism Yon Are entirely responsible for what you did while you were using it and you Are responsible for your own recovery. Simply saying a i was drunk at the time is of no Comfort to the women who claim Packwood Helm cd improperly. King features december 13, 1932 sunday a age 21
