European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - August 08, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse U miss Mann is Judith Martin Pear miss manners i was taught that when i answer the phone and the caller says May i speak to Linda i should answer this is my Hus band insists i should say this is which is the Correct response gentle readers sorry wrong column the Lan Guage column is around the Corner. But manners oblige miss manners to be helpful anyway. The Cor rect response is this is dear miss manners a married couple friends of mine invited me to stay at their five bed room Home while my apartment was being renovate for two weeks. I was delighted until i got there. The first thing the wife did was to show me where the vacuum cleaner was stored and let me know what parts of the House needed attention and where the dirty laundry Lay. I got the message. I also did the cooking sometimes for guests As Well As for the couple. The wife never helped me at All. I was embarrassed in front of their friends be cause i Felt like the maid though the husband did pitch in a Little. I paid for my own food. Do you think i should Send the couple a gift and thank you note the husband is a cute Jerk in my estimation now but the wife is is. Arsenic. Does miss manners insist that i Square my lips Over my Bare Teeth and say of thanks to wonderful you gentle readers it just so happens that your very own miss manners is blessed with the ability to read the subtext of a social situation even when she was not present and when it has remained hid Den from the person who was. Actually it s not always a Blessing. But anyway she can explain to you what happened Here. The husband invited you to stay with them with out first securing the consent of the wife. Although she was furious he maintained that there was no re treat from the arrangement and that they would simply have to make the Best of it. That is what he attempted to do. But the wife spitefully took her anger out on you in addition to whatever she directed at him behind closed doors which mercifully remained unexposed to you or your interpreter Here. Having maintained that your presence would Cre ate extra work for her she preempted whatever efforts miss manners is sure you would have made to Steiner Usa be More of a help to them than a Burden. So you were twice maltreated Here once from hostess to guest and once As the innocent third party to a quarrel Between husband and wife. Although the wife behaved worse the husband is also to blame. He should have obtained her consent to the arrangement or if he had invited you impulsively should have quickly apologized that he found he had to withdraw the invitation the Only excuse needed was that it was found to be inconvenient. But at least he weakly attempted to mitigate the terms of your confinement. None of this is an excuse for you to be rude. But miss manners would sympathize with you if you de sired to season your politeness As it were. Suppose you were to write your thanks to the Hus band alone mentioning the wife while such letters Are usually directed to the Host Ess the lady in question did not function As such and your invitation and what meager hospitality there was came from the husband. You will have the double satisfaction of knowing that you discharged your obligation and that you were Able to get your Point across to the wife. Dear miss manners what is the Best thing to do when someone you know is wearing a new outfit or sporting a new Hairdo that you Don t particularly like and she or he knows you notice i Don t want to lie and give an insincere compliment but on the other hand i want to acknowledge the new look in some Way. Sometimes the change is too obvious not to notice. It has also happened to me recently. I was wearing my Contact lenses instead of my glasses and a new Hairdo. A co worker commented that i looked differ ent. That did not seem to me like a compliment especially the Way she said it. Gentle readers let s see if miss manners understands All the options you Don t want to compliment someone if it in t strictly with your truthful opinion. But you feel you should say something. And you Are onto those Neutral comments that make it so glaringly obvious that they Are substituting for. Compliments. What is this a multiple Choice test in which Al the answers have already been marked false the Only other possibility miss manners can imag Ine is a horrified what have you done to yourself she does t care for that. But two out of your three rejected possibilities would pass the politeness test silence and insincere compliments. What makes you think we arc All obliged to notice one another s grooming habits or that saying some thing insignificant just because it might please an other person is a sin United feature Syndicate reeling incorrect address your etiquette question in Black or Blue Black Ink on White writing paper to miss manners. . Box 91428, Cleveland Ohio 44101-3428. The Quill shortage prevents miss Man ners trom answering questions except through this column. Sarsotti Usa. That concludes our broadcast Day. Go to bed making room for fitness is an exercise in futility Erma Bombeck every slow news Day 1 pick up the paper thread a Story about president Clinton running track which has never Bee used. The latest bulletin informs me that there Are potted plants sitting on the Vir Gin Asphalt which is a sure sign of its infrequent use. The president is not the first person to amass a museum of Good intentions. It s not a partisan thing. Admit it. How Many of you have one of those Little circular trampolines in your closet or a nordic track buried in dust balls under your bed or a Jane Fonda video still in the cellophane the last piece of fitness equipment in our House to bite the dust was a stationary bicycle. We had that Puppy in every room of the House before it came to land in the bathroom. Why Don t you use it asked my husband. It kills my How could u kill your feet every time i get out of the Shower i to p Over we gave it to our daughter. Now she trips Over it. Physical fitness always sounds great. When we built our House the contractor suggested that since both of us talked about exercising we Block off one room for a workout room. It sounded perfect. We carpeted it. I bought a cute Towel with an aerobic theme. The door to the exercise room has been closed for 13 years that is because the room holds everything we do not want anyone to see. There is not one piece of exercise equipment in it. It holds old photo Al bums carpets that need cleaning lamps with no shades an ugly chair Christmas wrapping paper Tennis rackets that need to be re Strung Luggage a Turkey Platter and an old Mailbox. We still Call it the exercise room. Every time we Are faced with something we want out of sight we look at one another and say in unison the Universal press Syndicate no kidding Rock and Roll songs before Rock Era 1. Rock and Roll Tho Boswell Sisters 1934 2. Rocklyn Rollin mama buddy Jones 1939 3. Rock and Roll vim Bill Moore 1947 4. We re Gonna Rock we re Gonna Roll John Hooker 1950 5. It Rockol it Rolls it swings the Teniers 1951 Rock around the clock 1955, optically began the Rock Era Rock on evolution of a name Marilyn Monroe 1. Born Norma Jeane Mortenson 2. Baptized Norma Jean Baker 3. Modelling name Norma Jean Dougherty 4. Modelling name Norma Dougherty 5. Modelling name Jean Norman 6. First studio name Carole Lind 7. Studio name considered Marilyn Miller 8. Studio name considered Jean Monroe 9. Name signed for nude Calendar Mona Monroe. The unabridged Marilyn. Page 10 sunday August 8, 1993
