European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 19, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse Let a Mph a 19, 1993 have a these Ai by Dave Barry tilings have been Busy Busy Busy Here at the Holiday gift command Center. For months now our cheerful elves have been hard at work in their cozy workshop Hammer Itig and sawing drilling and sanding transforming sturdy blocks of Wood into rocking horses toy soldiers and spinning tops designed to elicit squeals of happiness from Lucky Little boys and girls. These toys painted in Bright primary colors Are lined up on a very special night when we gather them All up and take them in big trucks to the morphed glom co corp., which bums them to generate the heat needed to cause the chemical reactions required to produce High Grade plastics that Are necessary to manufacture the toys that Modem children actually want such As mortal combat Xiv the video game in which your character cats the enemy characters pancreas. We have repeatedly tried to explain to the elves that All we really need is the sturdy blocks of Wood but we get nowhere. They May be cheerful but they have the average in of a salad shooter. Some of them have been working Here for Over 250 years without once asking if we have a dental plan. All we have to do to keep them Happy is every now and then continued on Page 4
