European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 19, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Gusted by Mary Mcdonough of Columbia . A do you know what a wrong with Small dogs Well yes they do have the intelligence of Chew ing gum and a tendency to express their love by peeing on your feet. But that is not what we Are getting at. We Are getting at the fact that Small dogs because of a foolish design oversight on the part of Mother nature do not have handles. Thus you generally have to carry them with both hands which Means that you do not have a hand free to carry for example a briefcase. This is Why so Many Small dog owners Are unable to take their dogs with them to work. And that is Why you will want to give this item to the dog owner on your gift list. This item is basically a Nylon harness with a handle. It instantly converts an Ordinary Small dog into a Small dog that can easily be carried anywhere not just to the office but also to restaurants health clubs Heaters weddings bar Mitzvah and funerals. You need never again be without your dog. You can take your dog everywhere a just like your cellular phone in addition to constant companionship a portable dog can be a powerful deterrent to hardened Urban Street criminals. First criminal stick pm up you calmly holding up your dog id put that gun away if i were you. Second criminal look out Earl its peeing on your feet first criminal yikes lets get out of Here dog sweat suit $17.98 from Harriet Carter dept. 43, North Wales a 19455, phone 215 361-5151. More and More we Are coming to realize that dogs Are not just stupid Moron animals who go around Barking violently at air molecules and sniffing each others private parts for hours at a time. Thanks to Best Selling books such As the hidden life of dogs we Are becoming aware that dogs Are in fact Complex Subtle and sensitive creatures with deep emotional needs. And their no. 1 need scientists now believe is to Wear sweat suits. It is a fact that dogs left alone in the wild with no humans to care for them will form into highly organized packs and. Spend hours making sweat suits for each other. Granted these Are primitive garments Many of them lacking elastic or even Basic washing instructions. But still they reveal a powerful instinct that is certainly also present in domesticated dogs. That is Why we arc certain that your dog would love nothing More this Holiday season than to receive this handsome dog sweat suit. We re also sure that even though your pet cannot say a thank you in so Many words he or she will find some Way to express his or her gratitude to you. A they mom Rex pooped in his sweat suit again a figure forming Brief $9.95 from Carol Wright gifts 340 Appl Creek rd., Lincoln neb. 68544-8503, phone 402 4745174. We cannot think of a nicer Way for you to Send that special someone on your gift list the following message a you have a really Flat  for far too Long few options have been available to buttocks impaired individuals. Yes they can do what thousands of top models such As Cindy Crawford do namely stuff wads of newspaper Down the Back of their underwear to achieve a Fuller look. Unfortunately newspaper Ink tends to rub off which can Lead to embarrassment during intimate moments. A Darling its not that i done to find it attractive but How come you have a picture of Ziggy on your behind a we can kiss this problem goodbye thanks to this exciting new Advance in buttocks enhancement. Not Only do these briefs enable the wearer to look Good but they also provide vital Protection to those unfortunate individuals a and there Are Over 17 million of them according to . Labor department statistics a whose jobs require them for one reason or another to sit on thumbtacks you will undoubtedly want to Purchase a set of these briefs for every fashion conscious person on your list a female or mate. We understand that Don Shula has 14 pairs fashionable emergency head covering $9.95 from Carol Wright gifts 340 Appl Creek rd., Lincoln neb. 68544-8503, phone 402 4745174. This is one of those gift ideas that is so wonderful tit new amp Jive developed a Large Welt on our forehead from constantly smacking ourselves for not having thought of it first. It  be simpler. You Start with a simple turban style hair covering made from an attractive Type of cloth material such As might be used to make bedspreads for a Motel 6. Then you take a set of Bangs made from synthetic fibres that could easily pass for real human hair if viewed from an aircraft flying overhead at an Altitude of 35,000 feet at night. You put these two fashion elements together and voila you have this extremely attractive fashion head covering. According to the Carol Wright Catalon this is the a perfect coverup to make you Quot look terrific Quot when you done to have time to Wash and set your hair. We will vouch for this. We will go even further we contend that this fashion accessory will produce a stunning visual effect even if you have washed and set your hair. We talked a number of individuals into trying on this fashion coverup and we can honestly state that everyone of them male or female was instantly and dramatically transformed into what appeared to be an aging russian peasant woman from space. A so this is the perfect gift not Only for the fashion conscious individual on your Holiday gift list but also for the individual who is in the Federal witness Protection program. Its also Ideal for the Public figure who does not wish to be recognized we understand that Sylvester Stallone never goes to the mall without this Cap on his head. Although the rest of him is naked Chin firmer $4.99 from Walter Drake and sons 53 Drake building Colorado Springs Colo 80940, phone 719 596-3853. Suggested by Jessica Bernstein of Alexandria a. Most employers will Tell you that the most import. Tant Factor they consider when making decisions about hiring and promotions is Chin firmness. That is Why this Chin firming device is the Ideal gift for everyone in your Holiday list who is looking to a get ahead a particularly in those jobs where personal appearance is critical such As to Anchor person . Senator Ballerina and astronaut. The Beauty of this device is that it can be worn anywhere and will be virtually unnoticed except for the fact that it covers a targe part of the face and head. Thus the person looking for Chin improvement can keep this device on for great lengths of time. It is our understanding that Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf virtually never took his off when he was directing military operations in the persian Gulf Beauty mask $3.89 from Miles Kimball 41 w. Eighth ave., Oshkosh wis. 54906, phone 414 231-4886. Sug gusted by Roz Marottoli of new Haven Conn Here is a very practical idea for the person on your Holiday list who takes Pride in her or his appearance. This is a Hood that covers the wearers entire head like a beekeepers Hood the purpose according to the Catalon is a to protect your Hairdo and keep your makeup from smearing Quot while you re getting . But Why Stop there Why run the risk that your Hairdo and makeup might get mussed after you Are dressed we Here at the gift guide command Center believe that a person who truly wants to look his or her Best will simply leave the Beauty mask Hood on at All times even on dates unzipping it Only when it is no Cassaty to insert food or spit. Form amp i mum appearance Protection we fed that the Beauty mask should be left on even during sex a ooh Marcia that feels so. Hey who is this Quot Quot this is de who is this Quot \ Industrial Back support $19.95 from Carol Wright gifts 340 Appl Creek re Lincoln neb. 68544-8503, phone 402 4745174. You have probably noticed that Many people Wear these Back support devices and you May have asked yourself Why. Tote answer is simple these people have real jobs. Unlike yourself they sometimes have to perform actual physical labor a a such As lifting things. Yes it still happens even in America but just because you arc lets face it a slug that does no to mean that you and the people on your hol Day gift list can to look like contributing members of society. All you need to do is order this handsome Industrial Back support with crisscrossing suspenders you can Wear this support Over your business suit to indicate that just because you have a sedentary White Collar office Job that does no to mean you re not a hard working individual. A whoa a you could announce loudly within earshot of your Boss and coworkers a i need to make three copies of the quarterly sales report which is five pages Long and the Collator is broken id better tighten up my crisscrossing suspenders a we strongly suspect that As the concept of appearing to work hard for a living catches on these Back supports Are going to become a very popular fashion accessory and not just during business hours. It is our understanding that Ralph Lauren will soon be coming out with a signature line of Industrial Back supports for resort and evening  masterpiece night Light $28 from touch of class Catalon 1905 n. Van Burn st., Huntingburg ind. 47542-9595, phone 800 457-7456. Suggested by Charlotte minor of Lafayette Colo. Ever since the great greek or roman philosopher Aristotle first set Down the rules of attractiveness Mankind has known that the two essential elements for the perfect work of Art Are 1.a cat. 2. A toilet. But despite thousands of years of Effort by such leading artists As Michelangelo Leonardo a Vinci and Leroy Neiman it was not until the touch of class Catalon came out that these two artistic elements were finally brought together in the form of this unique night Light. It is made of porcelain a the same material used for the finest dental Spittoon a and it depicts a siamese cat looking Down into a toilet. We done to know Why the cat is doing this perhaps there Are fish in there. Why not it is a fact that various forms of wildlife show up in Peoples toilets All the Lime. For example Here at the Holiday gift guide command Center we have received countless articles about people finding snakes in their toilets sometimes Large snakes this particular night Light could be depicting a cat watching with great interest As its owner is being pulled Down into the toilet by a Snake. Perhaps the Only part of the owner still above water is the head which is shouting to the cat a boots for gods Sake go get help please go the time. For example Here at the Holiday gift guide command Center we have received countless articles about people finding snakes in their toilets sometimes Large snakes. This particular night Light could be depicting a cat watching with great interest As its owner is being pulled Down into the toilet by a Snake. Perhaps the Only part of the owner still above water is the head which is shouting to the cat a boots for gods Sake go get help please go continued on Page 6 december 19. 1993. Sunday pages