European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 19, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Miss manners Judith Martin dear miss Mann test when a business col Jea Guc died my Boss sent a sympathy card with a bouquet of Flowers to the grieving widow. After a week had passed he mentioned to me How rude it was that the widow had not sent him a thank you card for the  done to feel the widow should be obligated especially during a time of such sorrow to think about sending thank you cards. Could you please explain what etiquette Calls for gentle Reader the notion that a bereaved per son should be spared etiquette duties associated with death is psychologically unsound. On the contrary it is while engaged in performing the last social tasks one can on behalf of the de. Ceased that survivors Are Best Able to feel the strength of the connection that remains. Only when there is nothing More to be done do most people give Way to despair. But while your Boss is technically Correct in cd peeling a word of thanks for his Flowers miss Man Nurs does not care to be on his Side. Criticizing a new widow for what cannot even be considered tardiness after Only one week is a much greater violation of etiquette. Dear miss manners a  i had at a Nice restaurant was quite Good but was served with a Large Dollop of whipped Cream on top. F had been informed that spoons were to be used Only for food in bowls and yet eating the whipped. Cream directly seemed a Messy Prospect As did leaving it in place with the risk of wearing it on my nose As i took a sip from the Glass. Most Likely my immediate family members with whom i was dining were More amused than offended by my attempts to handle the situation. But i would be embarrassed to try to Deal with this in the presence of dates employers or co workers. Gentle Reader a Daiquiri with whipped Cream miss manners hardly knows whether to laugh or cry. Being perfectly behaved she will do neither. However it May be useful if she explains the source of her weeping. You have led a sadly deprived life which is the Only Way miss manners can characterize someone who has never experienced the Delight of an ice Cream soda. This culinary masterpiece has become rare since drugstores saw fit to rip out their soda fountains but it was once a Staple of the american Leisure time cuisine. A thanks to he ice Cream soda any schoolchild would have been Able to Tell you that of course drinks topped by whipped Cream properly require spoons. Where did your adviser get the notion that spoons Are associated Only with bowls has he or she never even known the less exciting pleasure of iced Tea which even has a up on named after it the next time you Are served a Daiquiri topped with whipped Cream ask for a spoon. Better yet ask for an Jee Cream soda. .1 dear mias manners at my office everyone takes a turn filling in for the receptionist which Means a lunch hour of answering business Calls from outside the company. A Peculiar kind of caller believes that it is not necessary to identify himself or herself but will demand this of others. 1 will answer with a Good afternoon Xyz company a and the response is a a who a this Quot frankly i am at a loss for a polite answer. A stunned a excuse me a does no to work. If 1 repeat the company name they say in a loud or voice Quot i said a who is this a 1 have tried a who is calling please Quot or when i am feeling literal a this is the person you dialled. Whom Are you calling please a but the callers usually fail to grasp that they arc being asked to comply with Normal Telephone protocol. Clearly these unidentified callers arc demanding that i state my name. I can Only assume these people have a need to feel familiar with receptionists and arc crudely noting a change from the usual voice. I do not wish to give my name to an Anonymous voice especially on a phone line that is not my own. I do not believe my name is any of their concern. In such circumstances my name is a the receptionist a and i would just like to put their Call through. Gentle Reader miss manners hardly knows whether she should exert herself to answer this question before the Xyz company installs voice mail which will Render your problem moot. But As the theory behind voice Mailis connected to your question she will go ahead. Your indignation is based on the erroneous Assumption that the callers want to have a personal encounter with an individual when they Telephone your company people who Call a business Are much less Likely to have an improper interest in the personalities they May encounter than a proper interest in knowing if they have the right functionary who will attend to their business. The proper reply for you to make is indeed that you Are temporarily the receptionist and would like to know As voice mail will one Day inquire less individually but at least less grudgingly where to Send the Call. ,. United feature Syndicate feeling incorrect address your etiquette questions in Black or Blu Black Ink on while writing paper to miss manners . Box 9123, Cleveland Ohio 44101-3423. The quilt shortage prevents miss manners from answering questions except through this column. David Mosman Australia. Quot what do you mean no frequent flyer Points Quot growing from umbilical Cord to cordless Drill Erma Bombeck Here is nothing As sobering As having your a baby 0sk for a cordless Drill for Christmas. A cordless Drill was it Only yesterday he  go on breathing unless he had a Fleet of hot wheels what happened to the years he lusted after a catchers Mitt and a basketball hoop to hang Over the garage door 7. Where did the Beany and Cecil years go and the Mickey Mantle pyjamas and the etch a sketch its no fun shopping for your child in a hardware store. It used to be such a kick going into a toy wonderland where shelves of dolls stared at you with Glassy eyes and mechanical animals nipped at your heels. Music escaped from carousels and you bought batteries by the Box. Now when our kids request a Battery they mean a real one from Sears. A sweater or a calculator i could handle but a cordless Drill this was the kid who grew up thinking that if you left the refrigerator door open it cooled off the House in the summer. He thought clean towels reproduced themselves and had no curiosity As to How a Towel rack was attached to a  was i always in such a hurry for him to grow up i bought him a tricycle before he could focus hockey skates before he could walk and Black Beauty before he could read. And then the years went into fast Forward and i could scarcely keep up. The Partridge family Lunchbox that he threw out one Day with the lunch so that he did no to have to Cany it anymore sent a message that i no longer knew him. A cordless Drill. Ill get the Drill. Ill wrap it and put it under the tree. And the a baby Quot who has a bad Back and a hairline like the state of Florida will say its exactly what he wanted. But in a a Mother who refuses to let her youngest grow up i will not be Able to resist cautioning a be sure and cad the directions and done to Hurt your self a Universal press Syndicate no kidding tested and rejected by Dunkin donuts 1. Pizza donuts. 2. Candy donuts 3. Ice Cream donuts 4. Barbecue donuts. A Dunkin donuts the original Addams family 1. John Gomez Astin a auditioned for lurch 2. Carolyn mortician Jones a was third Choice 3. Tom lurch Cassidy a voice of incredible Hulk 4. Felix Cousin itt Silia a Tikki on Buck Rogers. 5. Blossom Grandmamma Rock a Jeanette Macdonald a sister 6. Ken Pugsley Weatherwax a Nephew of lassies Trainer world features Syndicate sunday december 19, 1993