European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - June 19, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse Places the Trio can go he admits. A a typical Date includes dinner somewhere like Denny a and a grated John who like others in this Story asked that his name not be used says he does no to want his daughters to feel excluded from any part of his life. He has invented Quot rules to protect them from emotional grief when he dates he says but has no Way of checking the effectiveness. His most recent relationship lasted six months. Quot i never slept anywhere but Home a the 39-Ycar-old technical writer says proudly. A i am there mornings to fix breakfast feed the Rabbit and have Quality time with my a a typical evening a when we come Home from a Date my older daughter is watching to in her room. My youngest gets ready for bed As does my Girlfriend. She wears proper flannel pjs and climbs into a sleeping bag on the Couch. When the kids Are asleep she comes into my bed l. She gets up Early and leaves a or goes out on the sofa John says he ended the relationship because his 9-year-old seemed troubled. She started asking to sleep in her fathers bed and offered the Girlfriend her own bed. Also his sex wife was angry about his new Girlfriend and refused to Send child support. And his Girlfriend who a never been married said she wanted children of her own. A i would not want to have another baby Quot John says. Or. Steven Schenkel a los Angeles psychiatrist says he doubts most children Are fooled by the games single parents play. A children pick up on what you re doing even if you done to Tell them. The More straightforward a Parent is the More smoothly things turn out. Parents should convey that they must go away sometimes to have fun. But they should not give a child too much Schenkel and others familiar with the lives of single parents say their problems Are vast and Complex a and differ widely depending on the age of the children the family a economic and social bracket and the psychological damage caused by divorce or the death of the missing Parent. A major worry these Days is molestation Schenkel says. A some mothers wont even allow boyfriends in the House or wont Date at. All for fear that their children might be at some to Star in the 93 hit film sleepless in Seattle Jonah Ross Malinger helps his dad from Hanks fish for a wife. Another is the fear that the child will feel threatened by the new Man or woman on the scene. A some parents blow it out of proportion but others have cause to in a recent Case Schenkel says a boy of 13 Quot do dared guerrilla warfare on the new Man his Mother was dating. A the would hide the Many a blurt rings take Money from his Wallet. The Mother did t know whose Side to take he says. She wanted to be Loyal and reassuring to her son even As his behaviour got worse. But she would not let her Boyfriend reprimand or discipline him. Single Parent readers Are full of questions about How to conduct their lives says self magazines pen Ney. A do you whirl a number of dates by your child do you leave children at friends Homes so you can have an overnight if you done to have Money for Sitters do you bring your child along on some dates a she says. Other biggies when to introduce your child to your Date what to do if your child does no to like the person you Date a or worse yet that person s Chil Dren How to ease the child a fear of taking a Back seat to the new Date a or the child a desire to help you find a replacement for the missing Plieni. Alexander a Minneapolis writer and single Parent of a 4-year-old, says she has it. Xxi in tired so Many logistic and philosophical problems with dating that she set out to write a by. On the subject. A it was so hard for me to work full time by to Date and raise a child alone. I thought there must be ways others have found to make this life pus.,. I decided to what they Are and w rile about them so people would know what to but her Book in Praise of single parents offers no solutions. Instead its a a Book of support Solace and possibilities. After interviewing hundreds of people on this subject a she says Quot i discovered no one has and answers. It is a dilemma of the Dis washing dads really and up by Denise Smith Amos St. Petersburg real dads done to have to eat quiche to know their Way around a Kitchen. In fact some May even be in danger of getting dishpan hands if you believe the latest trends in advertising. Thanks to a prevalence of two income marriages and a Little creative bravado from some and Agency copywriters More men finally Are helping out at Home a at least in commercials. They stack dishes in the dishwasher for Cascade. They fret Over their baby s diaper rash for Johnson amp Johnson. And they whip up a nutritionally balanced meal in minutes for Kraft general foods. And somehow despite such Drudgery these men manage to keep their Manly Good looks. A finally people in advertising offices Are recognizing that menus position willingly or unwillingly is changing a said Ray Brown a professor emeritus of pop culture at Bowling Green state University in Ohio. A they men Are staying Home More participating in the everyday lives of their family and taking on some of the functions women have had in the like potty training. A fruit of the loom commercial shows a father rewarding his toddler songs first successful trip to the toilet by giving him a pair of briefs his first fruit of the Louis triumphant the two walk Down the darkened hallway toward the Light. A there was a real rite of passage in the spot that in some ways can Only be passed on Between a father and a son a said David Selby senior vice president of the Leo Burnett co. And Agency in Chicago creator of the ads. A a it a a reflection of what goes on in households millions of times a Day a but is it really a 1990 Gallup poll showed that in 62 percent of households surveyed women did most the dusting vacuuming and cleaning men did in Only 3 percent of the cases. And in 87 percent of the Homes women did most of the laundry compared with Only 1 percent of Homes where men washed the clothes. The numbers done to add to 100 percent because some couples said both or neither did those chores so what about ads showing homemaking hubbies a a it a a Little bit of reality and a Little bit of fantasy a said Judith Langer owner of Langer amp associates a new York consumer research firm. A there has been a change in menus roles a she said. Quot More Are involved in the Homcik but Many studies still show that the primary responsibility for child care and inside household Domestic duties is held by nevertheless those ads Appeal to men because they support Many menus perception that they do their fair share at Home Langer said. Quipped Brown at Bowling Green Quot last night 1 saw a Man in the Kitchen but maybe he was just passing the ads also Appeal to women Langer said because women can Hope they come True. Added Selby at Leo Burnett Quot we re trying to Appeal to both men and women. Women Are the gatekeepers of the family and the primary purchasers of ail cloth a a a it. Ing. In fruit of the loom spots the father has a Hunky athletic build. In a recent Simmons Beauty rest Magazine and a Well developed Bare chested dad cradles his baby. The message the �?T90s Man dearly Bis to be Strong yet gentle handsome yet Handy with a Spatula. Langer put it this Way a you want your Guy to take out the garbage even though you be never seen Clint Eastwood do Scripps Howard nows service june 19, 1994 sunday Page 7
